My girlfriend and i have been together for 3 1/2 yrs. She just broke up with me and she has been cheating for the last 3 months. In march of '05 she was pregnant and i told her to get an abortion. She got the abortion and since then she has not felt the same about me. She broke up with me for that reason. She said she didnt feel the same about me because i made her get the abortion. She is now dating 2 other guys. My parents dont know yet and friday we are going out to dinner with them. We havent really talked or seen each other since the break up. What can i do to get her back? Please i need help fast! What can I do?
2006-10-30 07:36:55 · 26 answers · asked by colum_student 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You shouldn't have forced her into abortion. You can thank yourself for this.
2006-10-30 07:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 5⤋
Wow.
1) Nobody forces anybody else to get an abortion. It was her decision, even if you "told" her to.
2) She's been cheating for 3 months, is now dating 2 other guys, hasn't "felt the same" about you for over a year, and you want her back?
3) You're having dinner w/ her and your parents even though you're broken up? Was this some planned thing from way back? Maybe you should just have a nice dinner w/ the rents and leave her out of it.
4) I know 3.5 years is a long time, but my advice, based on what you've said, is to just forget about her if you can. This doesn't sound like it would ever be a decent relationship you could have confidence in.
2006-10-30 07:42:48 · answer #2 · answered by jonjon418 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
unfortunatly abortion is a pretty big deal, some woman (like your girlfriend) get one without understanding how emotionally traumatizing it really is. Most likely, as soon as she had the abortion she decided she really wanted the baby... but it was too late. She now blames you for taking that "chance" away. That blame builds and builds and builds until she can't even care about you as a person anymore. On that note, I'm assuming you did not force her to get an abortion, only stated that was the option of your choice... if that's true she blames herself equally but may not realize it yet. (grief is a very long process) I suggest you ask her to get councling for abortion, even if it doesnt make her realize she is unfairly laying blame on you, it will help her in the future no matter what. Beyond that though, try to talk it out. It may be that the abortion was the original issue, but since then you two have grown apart. Take a look at your relationship as a whole and decide rather or not fixing the abortion issue will fix the whole thing
2006-10-30 07:43:23 · answer #3 · answered by manderstwin1 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she has not felt the desire to have you back in her life since March 2005, it does not seem likely that she will take you back 1 1/2 years later. That seems like water under the bridge.
What interests me is the need for you guys to perform in front of your parents as if you're still a couple? That seems odd.....but not trying to pass judgment on ya.
You need to ask yourself if you only want her back because you now feel guilty about the abortion, the fact that she has visibly moved on by dating not just one but two more guys (?), or for the sake of your parents. Start there and that should lead you to where you need to be.
Good luck to you!
2006-10-30 07:42:39 · answer #4 · answered by Bathroom Graffiti 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Remember that you also have a choice too; is now the right time for a baby for you? Don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't do. Think about: -the timing -are you ready to raise the baby alone if you have to -do you have the money to support a child -if you do ask for child support from him, are you ready to have him (and his ex) in your and your baby's life for the rest of it although as devastating as the break-up may be, you have a very big decision to make. Edit: I wish people would stop referring to the fetus or embryo as a baby. It isn't yet: "Nearly all abortions take place in the first trimester, when a fetus cannot exist independent of the mother. As it is attached by the placenta and umbilical cord, its health is dependent on her health, and cannot be regarded as a separate entity as it cannot exist outside her womb." Does that sound like a baby? Let the woman make her own choice. Give her comfort & advice, but don't try to make a life-altering decision for her.
2016-03-28 01:54:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You needed to stand-up and be a man, which you were anything but a man when you told your Ex-Girlfriend to get an abortion. She rightfully did break-up with you, You deserve never to have a family, You do nothing to get her back, I hope she never takes you back, and no girl ever take you at all (I say girl, because you are incapable of dating a real woman). You should work on being an adult and a man instead of a irresponsible boy.
2006-11-02 05:05:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you broke up, it is for a reason.
An abortion, like a miscarriage, can be a traumatic event. She is blaming you for the course that the two of you took together.
If you got back together, things probably wouldn't change as you two will always have this in the back of your minds..
IMHO, suck it up and move on. It is tough, but the relationship has been changed forever. If you got back together, it would probably would be miserable for you both.
2006-10-30 07:52:35 · answer #7 · answered by Slider728 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You lost her! Asking a woman to terminate a pregnancy because YOU were neglectfull and got her pregnant is morally wrong. I suppose you didnt even go with her when she had it done...did you. An abortion changes ones state of mind in all angles and aspets. You should have been there to support HER decision...not make one for her. If you truley loved her you would have respected her right to decide.
2006-10-30 07:55:31 · answer #8 · answered by Languastina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you want to get back with somebody that cheats on you and is now dating 2 other guys?take my advice find a girl that really loves you and don't cheat .probably she used the abortion as a excuse for the break up.you seem like a good guy ,so wake up and find somebody that you can trust.
2006-10-30 08:00:18 · answer #9 · answered by realistic 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
come on now how you force a grown woman to get an abortion. Why in the hell do you want her cheating a-s-s. leave it alone before you end up at the clinic (and not for an abortion)
2006-10-30 07:41:45 · answer #10 · answered by 1 luvly LEO 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you will be able to get her back...abortion does things to a woman emotionally and i hate to say it but right now in her eyes you are the who she is blaming instead of blaming herself for having the abortion...those feelings have turned to hate...and i don't think you will ever get that back. my only advise to you is with the next girl if your not ready to have a baby don't have sex.
2006-10-30 07:46:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋