I dont want to fly off the handle and go accusing him. It's just that his behavior is so odd...either that or he hates me. a few months back, actually, more like more than a year ago now, I started noticing strange behavior. He was staying up all night on the computer, not sleeping in the same bed as me (sleeping on the couch, etc.), and just acting really ... funny? I dont know how else to put it. We were living with his best firend at the time and they would hang out and that was cool with me. Then best firends girl came to live with the best friend, and they all decided to complain about me (odd since I was the one who was doing all the cleaning, working, and was the only one who would watch my daughter and NEVER got to hang out with any of my firends) Then I got pregnant with second child. The trashing on me got worse. Then we moved out and things got SO MUCH BETTER. We actually could sit and talk without someone interrupting. We had dinners together. Then, about a month after that
2006-10-30 07:27:46 · 26 answers · asked by Hurray for the ANGELS! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he started sleeping on the couch again and staying up all night on the computer. Suddenly, his social life got much larger. Since we were closer to his work, everyone was calling him. (We moved closer to his work but oddly, my work was just as far no matter what... and I am the one getting up earlier, STILL. He goes out with firends and I let him because i feel that he does need that time. And I dont nag until he is out wayyy later than he says.
2006-10-30 07:30:09 · update #1
so anyways, i dont know why in the world he would stop cleaning the house, whine that i dont help in the mornings when i am already late and have to be there an hour ealrier than him, and stay up all night long. i waited until 11 pm last night for him to come to bed and i had to wake up at 5:30 that was hard for a preggy woman who just got over the flu!! I cant track his phone because it is now a company phone. i cant get into his email because he is the IT administrator, etc. he has everything locked up and still goes out. I just dont know what to do. PLUS, i dont want to ask because then he will say i am accusing him. GOOD GRIEF.
2006-10-30 07:33:37 · update #2
We were living with his best friend because I he has no education. I finally was tired of him not earning any money and me having to do everything. He went to a vocational school and got some skills. Now he has a job that *barely* earns more than I do now.
2006-10-30 07:36:07 · update #3
I not being one to presribe information, but you both need help. You should seek out someone to talk to. you appear to have a lot of your own emotions welled up inside of you that need to get out. I feel it in your words. You need to either talk it over with your husband or find a mediator who can help you two talk to each other. You both loved each other once and need to find that love again and hang on to it. I hope for both of your sake that you find what you need.
2006-10-30 07:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by Which 1's Pink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Flying of the handle and accusing will do no good for you , him or your children.
However I would sit down and talk to him about the things he is doing....night life and staying out half the night isn't healthy for any relationship.
Tell him how it makes you feel, don't point the finger and say you shouldn't, I don't get to....more like Could we go out together, it would be nice to spend some time alone, could I tag along tonight, it would be a nice break. I miss it when I roll over and find that you're not here,wishing we could both fit on the couch...:O)
Wait for his reactions and comments....if things don't change you need to decide if you want to go on living like this.
One other thought...re-read your question...what kind of trashing?
What was his response? Was he there for you?
IF talking doesn't help and you still want to work it out, try counseling.
I hate to see people just give up,but if you have no choice and it isn't healthy for all involved...you do what you got to do.
Best wishes
2006-10-30 07:41:02 · answer #2 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest to hire an investigator. It seems to me that he is having an affair. (Something is definately going on).
Even if he wasn't, you should not be living the way you do. It is okay for him to go out once in a while, but it seems like he is living the life of a single man. So what, if he will get upset that you asked. He is your husband and the father of your kids, he needs to start acting like one...
Don't let him take you for granted. You did not have those kids alone and you also need to have some kind of social life, besides your kids. You need to have a serious talk with him and ask him what he really wants.
Don't settle for less than what you deserve. Life is too short. You need to be happy and enjoy the one you love and life around you. Not being unhappy....
Look unto the Lord to give you the strength and guidance that you seek and need....
2006-10-30 08:04:41 · answer #3 · answered by Torres 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for all your troubles. The worst case are the children sensing your unhappiness. By my experience, my opinion is that the marriage is doomed. Husbands abandon the bed either if he is rejecting you, or staying on the internet having an affair, or simply seeing someone else. His behavior shows a pattern, and you should know him by now. If this man doesn't help you with the house and his own children, means that he doesn't care. Perhaps you are better off divorcing him, going on your own, claim child support, seek family help, goverment agencies, etc, and leave this looser behind. It won't get any better, and he won't change. If he didn't stood up for you before, he never will. Good luck to you.
2006-10-30 07:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by Woman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hire a PI Private Investigator. I think it's not cool for him to treat you like that, marriage is between both people not one. He should seriously consider staying home and helping you with the children. If he is cheating on you then you can perhaps get most of the assets/money in divorce if you have evidence of him cheating which the PI should be able to collect.
Wow you take all that? You do like 80% for the family and all he dose is provide money(which you also do). I would really look into a private investigator. Tell him the story and he will keep it secert between you and him and your husband will not need to know.
2006-10-30 07:29:34 · answer #5 · answered by jack 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, that is NOT acceptable behavior. Why do you not deserve respect? You have his children. You don't have to be a biatch, but you don't need to put up with his shyt either. I would be like, hey, I am here too. You need to put your foot down and make an ultimatum. I would say, you need to start being a husband and father. You can go out with your friends, but I need help. If he doesn't change a little, I would think about leaving. I know it is hard, but you need to be in a better environment for you kids. What kind of example is that setting for them if you don't have a good family place. You just need to make a choice. Good Luck.
2006-10-30 07:35:00 · answer #6 · answered by kimmypoo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not necessary that your husband is having an affair. His behavior could be like this due to his work. He might be having some problem with his professional life. A person takes out his frustrations only on those whome he loves the most. the only solution is that arrange a date with him where you can sit and talk about every problem you are facing, but before that ask about his problem and listen to him with patience .Don't break up ur relations so easily because breaking is easier than making.
2006-10-30 07:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by sonia singh 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in case you have been depressing on your marriage, it won't get lots extra effective if he comes returned. while there are countless intense issues in a relationship, you are able to not assume each and every thing to be fastened, so which you will nevertheless be depressing. He sounds like an alcoholic coke binger this is unreliable. How lots of that do you assume him to applicable? how many extra years are you keen to furnish this guy to artwork by way of them? individually I had a sort of, and it lasted approximately 10 years. keeping it mutually for the new child would not make sense. Your and your husband's strikes are coaching him that adult adult males can do in spite of they choose to their better halves and the better halves ought to stay no depend if or no longer they're chuffed or no longer. putting in that long shows your son which you merely do no longer provide up and stroll away on the 1st sign of a topic. yet leaving will additionally instruct him that that's alright to bypass on if the placement seems hopeless. He won't ought to proceed to stay in insupportable circumstances. he's a teenager so he's not thoroughly at evening approximately his dad's habit, merely consult from him and get his emotions on the undertaking, he would sense the comparable as you. If no longer he will ultimately come to understand. sturdy success.
2016-12-08 23:57:00 · answer #8 · answered by claypoole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems to me that the best friend is the problem.get rid of him.as if he's cheating.ask him. There's always tell-tell signs.especially if he's not sleeping with you anymore.......if he's having fantasies about other women......maybe he's doing some weird chit on the puter.i'd still ask him...tust me hun eventually when men cheat they get caught....maybe he become a dad to fast and he just hasn't grown up yet but i'm not sure if i'd wait around for him too.you sound much more grown up then him.give him opitions and find out where his heart really is.and good luck
2006-10-30 07:33:47 · answer #9 · answered by solsbj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like something is up..you should sit down with him and communicate with him..they say communication is the best..if you don't get any answers from him that you are satisified with, then investigate him..don't go through his wallet or anything like that, but sit up while he is on the computer..his actions will tell you if he is cheating on you with someone on the computer..you need your time to yourself just as much as he does..ask someone if they will watch your kids and go out..and see what he says..if he starts acting like a fool that he has become then something is up..he's afraid that you might see him..or if he starts to question you where your going and with whom..if you don't want to do that, do the smell test on him when he does come home..if he doesn't let you do that, he is up to no good..you deserve to be happy, if your happy then your kids will be happy..they can sense things you know?
2006-10-30 07:35:44 · answer #10 · answered by becca j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋