They've been going out for a long time but everytime they break up, she always chases him again. He never gets a chance to really move on and she's easy so he ends up with her again. Her family is so dysfunctional and I would hate to see him stuck with her and that family. It's so hard for me not to say anything!
2006-10-30 07:23:30 · 22 answers · asked by pacshore 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
thats ur problem ur not saying anything....
tell ur son how u feel
or take him on that show parental control
2006-10-30 07:25:46 · answer #1 · answered by lovable110 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, say something. You should have at the very minimum a speaking relationship with him. I have a daughter in law that I disliked. In fact I disliked her whole family. If I were in your shoes, I'd sit your son down & have a heart to heart with him. Tell him why you don't like her, & ask him to tell you why he keeps going back to her. I can understand not wanting to get in the middle of "his" life, but are & will continue to be his mother.
If he replys to you with a strong confident answer, then unfortunately you'll just have to let him make his own mistakes in relationships. If he replys with a him & a haw, then there's a good chance you can point out that there are other girls out there & he has time to find the "right one".
Whatever you do, don't put her or her family down when talking to him. Doing so may just have the reverse affect & he'll be with her for the rest of his life. Ask him questions that will get him to thinking about his future all together. That has a tendency to help them make the right choices for themselves, & it won't come across as you "telling" him what to do. Questions like: What would you do if this... or how would you like your girlfriend to treat you? He might see things from a different perspective that way.
If he keeps going back to her, perhaps he doesn't realize there just might be someone better for him out there, or he feels sorry for her & wants to do right by her, if her family hasn't been the greatest to her. No one is perfect, but there is someone out there who can help to make someone happy.
2006-10-30 08:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please! If you really dislike this girl it's ok but do not say anything to interfere with this relationship....it would change things between you and your son for ever!!! He needs to make this desicion on his own,you need to at least try to tolarade his girlfriend,or else he is going to blame you when the relationship is over.. If you raised your son right and there is something wrong with this girl he is bound to see it soon or later,but if you meddle then he is going to stay just to show you that he can control his life,that is just the way it is... you know that... so the best thing for you to do is say heyyyyyyyyyyyy to his girl and act like you really love her.... he will get rid of her on his own time,and if not then you have to live with his desision and so is he. good luck.
2006-10-30 07:44:40 · answer #3 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you shouldn't get involved unless he asks you too. He is going to have to learn the hard way. As a parent you offer guidance, he will have to take what you have offered as advice and decide which way to go. I don't know how old your son is, but eventually he will get sooo tired of her off on ways that he will walk away and find someone new. Just be supportive, there is nothing worse than a parent that uses the old I told you so line. Try to take her with a grain of salt, at least for his sake. Your son may be the only good thing around her if her family is so bad off. She is just not use to someone caring for her.
2006-10-30 07:29:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. You should tell him how you feel
but considering
2. It is HIS life and not yours
3. Accept his decisions as he is his own person and will learn from his own mistakes IF he is making any to begin with
4. Try not to be so judgmental about her and her family, that is not your own, the irony God brings into these situations is that you'll probably learn some kind of lesson from this
5. I know a mother's love for her son is way-strong but you just have to concentrate on your own life and unless his girlfriend is a murderer or something...let things move naturally in his life and respect his freedom and decisions.
6. His happiness should make you happy.
Good luck
2006-10-30 07:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by lady from the other day 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, you can't really control who your son dates whether you like her or not. I believe that the more you protest the more he will run to her. Depending on your relationship with your son, you could encourage him to date other girls when he breaks up with the current g/f.... maybe offer to introduce him to the daughter of a co-worker or friend. He might go for it if he really does want to "move on" from the girl you don't like. Otherwise, I think he will have to figure out things out on his own. Just be supportive of him no matter what.
2006-10-30 07:34:56 · answer #6 · answered by quickgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What it sounds like is that he's going after her, just because she's pleading. The best thing to do right now, is to talk to him about how you feel. Tell him that you're not trying to interfere, but often times a parent's input can open your child's eyes to other things in their girl/boy friends. I know that if a guy asks me out, I always make sure it's someone I know really well and that my family knows well. Then they can give me their input. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don't. But at least I know when I have someone who my family supports.
2006-10-30 07:27:48 · answer #7 · answered by jessi.swimchick 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As said many times previously, it is your son's decision. Perhaps you can suggest to your son that he visits a psycological counselor and hopefully he'll discover that he wants something more out of a relationship than what she can offer. It's best you keep your dislike for her to yourself and support your son's emotional growth for the long term. No matter what happens his relationship with his girlfriend will be a learning experience for him and it's up to you to be a positive influence in that learning.
2006-10-30 20:03:30 · answer #8 · answered by Zloar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that his girlfriend is suffering from attachment disorder if her family is disfunctional. She may really like your son, but be afraid that he will leave her and want to cut the ties before he gets the chance to hurt her first. Later she may realize again that he was really good to her, and want to have someone that cares about her, and the whole cycle goes around and around. If your son wants to be with her and make the relationship work, he needs to talk to her about why they are breaking up so much. They need to communicate with each other honestly about even the toughest topics or it never will work, and they could go on like this for a very long time. If he doesn't want to be caught up in it anymore, he needs to tell her that to.
I know it is hard to want your son to have something better if you don't think she is good for him, but don't jump to conclusions without knowing the whole story either. She may be clinging to your son because she also is trying to flee her family situation, (remember she didn't pick it). Know your son, is he truly happy with her? Is this really what he wants for himself? If he is and he does, try to patiently help him help her to even out her keel with patience and support she may come around and stop running.
If it isn't, try to help him realize (without being pushy or mean) what it is about her that is making him unhappy and help him choose for himself to find what her really wants and needs.
2006-10-30 07:37:54 · answer #9 · answered by Irish 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kindly voice your opinion but keep it respectful. If they do continue to go out, try to get along with her. It will make things easier. But as for her dysfunctional family, they may be dysfunctional but that doesn't necessarily mean she is.
2006-10-30 07:37:52 · answer #10 · answered by Erin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It wouldn't matter if you did say anything. All you will do is alienate your son. You will never be able to make decisions for him , and you shouldn't. You no longer have a "little boy". Be his council if he needs you to be. Encourage him to be his own man. When he gets enough, then and only then, he will be through with her.
2006-10-30 07:43:19 · answer #11 · answered by music 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋