i year ago i had cheated on my spouse and was drinking alout then and admitted it.he sent me of to go to rehab and commited to working on the marriage we have three children.now a year later he cant get past what ive doneand he is not in love anymore and is moving out.by the way all this came about after i had found a condom wrapper in my house.he has never been the cheating typ he swears on his children its not his.usually does not lie but to me its a lie when he says he has only been hear for the kids this whole yr.by the way he didnit even tell me he did not want to be with me told ourwhole family first do you think he was just waiting 4 something to happen to leave/now he has been moved out i month all stuff hear hasent filled for divorce comes sees the kids everyday.now he says he does not no when he is going to come homesays loves me very much but not enough to come back write?when he left i ****** upo drinking again he hates it.says thats not how i am gona come bac.hav sex gret
2006-10-30 07:18:49 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Looks like you've had a few today, huh??
2006-10-30 07:23:14 · answer #1 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What do you want us to say?
1) Quit drinking - again...join AA get in a 12 step Jeez lady, you've got kids
2) He probably cheated on you when you were in rehab - he was in an emotionally weak position and let someone else help him with his pain. I'm not saying its right, but it happened and he may still be with this person.
3) He is probably still angry with you for the earlier drinking - the cheating didn't help.
4) Face the fact that you may have lost your husband - sounds like he tried - maybe you did too. DON'T DRINK ANYMORE OR YOU WILL LOSE YOUR KIDS TOO!!!!!
5) There is a lot more here going on than you've stated.
DID I MENTION THAT YOU SHOULD STOP DRINKING?
You are probably so loaded and full of self-pity that you won't even read this.
2006-10-30 15:35:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop worrying about winning him back or talking him into coming back. It sounds to me that your biggest concerns should be getting yourself sober again and taking care of those children. You need to get yourself right, cleaned up and show him what he is missing by walking out on you and the children. As far as the condom wrapper, if he tells you it is not his and unless you have a son that is using them, he is lying through his teeth. Since you came so close to catching him, he took that time to bail on you and wants to go sleep around. Of course he is not going to just file for divorce, he would then have rules to follow from the judge, child support and perhaps even alimony depending on the state you live in. You need to get sober first and foremost, because if you do have a drinking problem and it does go to court, you could lose custody of all the children. Get sober, dress nice, take care of yourself and the kids and when he comes back and sees how everything is, he will want to come back and then you can decide if you want him back.
2006-10-30 15:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when one spouse cheats on the other the marriage is over for good. They may patch it up and live together for the rest of their lives but the marriage died with the affair. It will never be like it was before the affair-regardless of what happens. It is best for all to end it as soon as possible.
2006-10-30 15:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by Desperado 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My very first suggestion would be...PUT GOD IN YOUR LIVES! Why don't the two of you get some counseling?? Love in not lost...it's burried in hurt...by both of you! You can contact any Church....they will counsel you free..... You have 3 children involved...Children need BOTH parents...Sounds to me that you've both made mistakes...and BOTH need to forgive and get on with your lives......
2006-10-30 15:39:14 · answer #5 · answered by Shelly B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
had a few huh? oh well, look on the bright side. At least you have an excuse for your horrific use of the english language, punctuation and spelling.
2006-10-30 15:26:14 · answer #6 · answered by MrNiceGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously drinking now or are an illiterate dumb@ss. I hope he fights for full custody of the kids and gets it.
2006-10-30 15:41:26 · answer #7 · answered by Joesmoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the third guy who responded to your question. I suggest marriage couseling. Guess you both forgot your marriage vows.
2006-10-30 15:29:35 · answer #8 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its both your loss. You messed up and obviously he did to (he cheated on you) he is leaving let him leave. Find someone else
2006-10-30 15:22:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will not be a good wife for him as long as you are drinking. Don't blame him for leaving.
2006-10-31 05:47:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋