My best friend is such a sweet girl, but I am afraid she is about to make a huge mistake. She is American and is getting involved an illegal Brazilian man (25) who does not treat her very nicely. She is a virgin and he is not, she is waiting until marriage. They plan to marry within the year. I want her to know that I am happy for her happiness, I really am. It is just with skyrocketing divorce rates I really do not think they will make it.
Now that she is getting married she is trying to force it on me and my 4 yr relationship, I told her no way I am not marrying at 19 but she still persists.
As her friend do I try and talk some sense into her, or just shut up and support her? Could he be marrying her just for sex or citizenship?
2006-10-30 07:07:27 · 15 answers · asked by *Amanda* 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your concerns and claims are justified. Most illegal people in the U.S. are despratly trying to find ways to stay. I myself am shocked at how fast and young they are marrying. He may very well be pushing the marrige, but this puts you in a hard position. She might be indifferent to hear what you see in her relationship. As a friend you have a yurning to support her and this marriage but at the same time want to protect your friend from future harm. I'd suggest you talk to her about this. Maybe start by how you yourself know that you are not ready for marriage. I applaud both of you for waiting until marriage before sex. Though I was in a relationship for 7 and a half years before marriage we did not wait and everyonce in awhile we wonder. I must say we were high school sweethearts and everyone pushed us but the best thing we did was wait until we were ready; spiritually, financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically. So to answer your questions don't worry about her presuring you because it sounds like you know what you want in life. Be a friend to her and open up what you feel. Be careful to word this so as not to offend her or put her on the defence. No matter what her choice is be a friend and support her. You are not in charge of her life and her dissions. If you feel more like this marriage is for citizenship then report it to the authorities.
2006-10-30 07:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by Mark S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is without doubt no longer incorrect. It could also be problematic to foretell how the either one of you'll difference (and you'll greater than you realize) in a couple of years. It might motive many demanding situations, considering that so much teenagers don't seem to be financially steady to help themselves. But whatever is viable. Couples of every age move by way of an identical demanding situations relying on social financial reputation. One of the essential factors for marital clash and divorce is a million) marriage at a tender age two) Financial disorders and of direction three) How clash is treated. That being stated, that doesn't always imply that considering that you're younger, you'll divorce. It simply implies that even as the either one of you're exchanging mentally and socially, you each have got to be trained to evolve and persevere. It might take slightly extra attempt, however all marriages that placed forth that attempt improvement ultimately. Many couples that marry younger hold to reside completely satisfied, effective lives.
2016-09-01 04:47:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be marrying her for both reasons! If you know he treats her badly, chances are so do others. You need some kind of intervention. If you have support with people that agree with you, it might wake her up. She is going to regret this big time, she is way too young and jumping in way to fast. You know what worse comes to worse show her this. Has to make her realize how much you care and all the input from us fine folk might make a whole heap of difference. Good Luck and GOD BLESS!
2006-10-30 07:12:14 · answer #3 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's bad enough that she is far too young for marriage.
this guy sounds as fishy as the New Orleans' port. (and like this guy, you wouldn't want to go anywhere near it.)
he may be marrying her for citizenship or worse- to trick her into leaving the country with him so he can sell her off as a sex slave. check the statistics- human trafficking is making a come-back and is rapidly becoming a world-wide pandemic.
talk to her parents or guardians, a trusted teacher, your priest or preacher, the police... anyone who is an adult and has a positive influence over her. she may hate you at first, but in the end, she will thank you. there's a 100% chance that you will be saving her life.
2006-10-30 07:17:59 · answer #4 · answered by miss advice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he could very well be marrying her for the citizenship, but since I don't know them personally, I can't be sure. Just be sure that the girl realizes how badly he treats her. And support her in whatever decision she makes, but don't let her bully you into a decision you don't want to make for yourself. Good luck.
2006-10-30 07:11:40 · answer #5 · answered by DMBthatsme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably is marrying her for citizenship - all you can do is be supportive, she has to make her own mistakes and learn from them on her own
2006-10-30 07:10:21 · answer #6 · answered by chanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be marrying her for sex. i think you should try to talk to her and if she don't listen just let her make her own mistakes
2006-10-30 07:10:55 · answer #7 · answered by Nashay N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she is crazy./ That fella wants nothing good for her....and is more than likely doing this to gain citizenship as it is pretty hard to do.
2006-10-30 07:11:17 · answer #8 · answered by clipsegsxwidsm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hes marrying her for sex and citizenship.lol how do you know there not in love. dont be a hater if she wants to get married let her its her life.
2006-10-30 10:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a critical situation: Love is blind..... I advise you to talk to her about the dangers of this marriage and its consequences on her Private and social life !!!!
2006-10-30 07:14:13 · answer #10 · answered by César 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋