soemtimes i feel im not pretty enugh. i dont know why . just my appearance and ive had alot of people call me ugly beofre and then have the total opposite thing sadi from family , how can i accept who i am?
2006-10-30 06:51:04 · 8 answers · asked by sexyshara 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I know exactly how you feel. It is so hard to think positive thoughts when people have told you that you are ugly and the only people (Am I correct on this assumption?) that have told you, you are pretty is family. Your thought is, ‘Hey, they are family! Of course they think I am pretty! It doesn’t mean it is true though!’
Well let me tell you what hun, you are beautiful despite what you think and what you have been told. Now this is hard to believe, trust me, I know. But it is the truth.
I bet also that it isn’t just what people have said to you that makes you feel ugly; it is what you see around you. Movies, magazines, T.V, models and any other type of media says that its good to be yourself…yet two seconds later they go on and on about what true beauty is, and if you aren’t exactly like every other person that is ‘beautiful’ you are ugly. How can anyone have great self-esteem and self-confidence with this type of pressure? For many women and men this is a huge problem.
I once suffered from this problem. I thought I was lower than dirt. I didn’t want to go out, and I didn’t want to face anyone who was ‘prettier’ than me. But, after a year of battling, I finally gained confidence. Let me tell you how I did it.
First off, you MUST find at least three things about yourself that you like. One must be about your personality, one must be about something you are good at and the other is something physical. (EX: Eyes, mouth, body, face, hair…ect) Once you name those three things, bring them out more when you are out with people.
Let’s say you think your sense of humor is lovely. Great! Now, when you are around people, make a few more jokes, come out of the box and let people see you have an awesome sense of humor.
Let’s say you are great at volleyball. Well, grab your friends, and go out and play that! Show people what you can do well!
And let’s say you think your hair is beautiful. Take better care of it, and do your hair in some awesome ‘do’s’!
Lastly, when all of these things are done, BELIEVE EVERY COMPLIMENT YOU RECEIVE! And also, believe in yourself. You are an awesome woman! You can do anything you want! Don’t let some jerks push you around, for that is what they truly desire.
No one is ugly! Everyone is stunning to at least ten people in that person’s life! Trust me, it is true!
I hope this helps you my dear! Have fun bringing out your wonderful self!
2006-10-30 07:20:18 · answer #1 · answered by evellin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all....learn to not let what people say get to you. It takes work to do this....but it eventually is doable.
Realize that you are who you are and then be the best you can be. Find your own beauty. Actually you would be amazed that most beauty comes from within. The way a person sees how you carry yourself can be part of the perception of what people think of you.
Also....we all have self talk and converstaions we have in our own brain. Time to change the conversation. Instead of saying "I am not that pretty or bright" Say "I am beautiful and smart and I love myself as I am" If you say our positive words often enough your brain will reprogram itself and you will be more accepting of yourself.
2006-10-30 15:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..first of all..what do u mean by "not pretty ENOUGH"..? who and what are u comparing urself to? remember, don't pay attention to Negative things people say...focus on how u feel about yourself, and use the Positive things people say to help you. having said that, perhaps u need to try different things on urself to "feel" beautiful..but that's ok! i KNOW i have to put on some makeup and do my hair to look my best...and that i look pretty crappy when i'm at work and didn't do anything. but it's ok.. i am comfortable w/ the fact that i can look really good when i try.
so, my advice would be first to : exercise, work out. take care of ur Body. the better u Feel about yourself, the less u have to feel Shy about. try out new makeup styles, hair styles, and clothes. buy Flattering clothes, have nice outfits u KNOW looks good on u. go to makeup counters and ask for makeover tips. u can never have too much makeup! :) whatever u need to do that flatters your face!
next, work on your MIND. read more, study more. learn more. keep an Open mind. find some hobbies, and start getting Involved. the more u interact w/ others and start developing ur ways of thinking, the more u will have to say.
finally, work on y our Relationships: start w/ ur family, and friends..eventually be able to develop relatiosnhips w/ teachers, friends of friends, and even be confident to speak to strangers. remember, u are already working on ur looks and ur mind, so u have Less to be shy about.... !! u are more knowledgable, and if u know u put makeup on and did ur hair, more likely u feel better about urself.
good luck! it ALL stems from how u feel about urself.. right now, no matter how many people say ur beautiful, u will never believe it. learn to take care of urself, and love urself, and others will see and be attracted to ur confidence, ur comfortability. always remember to keep POSITIVE people around u and leave the Negative behind.. feeling ugly is not going to *help* you, right? so doing something about it and working on it will be a Productive thing. good luck! :)
2006-10-30 15:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are pretty. If you don't like looking in the mirror, tough, do it anyway. Whenever you find yourself saying something bad about yourself, say 10 nice things about yourself immediately. They can be about your talents or your attitude or even that you like your fingernail polish that day.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to be positive and NEVER put yourself down. Try to shrug off insults that come at you, it's hard at first but soon you'll get the hang of it and come to realize what other people think doesn't really matter.
2006-10-30 14:55:45 · answer #4 · answered by becbec 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
I was in the same boat you was in!!! I recently got out of it...My husband (no lie) once dated this model and she was gorgeous (no, I am not a lesbian or a bi) but I always wonder why he chose me and not someone who had the looks!!! Then I went to church and they have this also pretty girl staring my husband down and trying to get his attention, well that cause a big fight between us!!! According to him, he said that looks don't mean everything, it's the action and words....Well, I still didn't believe him and I was like whatever....Soon, I got the attitude where I really don't care anymore, if he wanted someone else, he can go get them!!! I know that later in life if I wanted to, I can get someone else that will like me just the way I am!!! Just keep in mind, that their is someone that is better than you, prettier than you, uglier than you, dumber than you, fatter than you, skinnier than you, etc..Not everyone is PERFECT!!!! God is the one that made you, don't change your looks!!! In God's eyes, you are pretty as you are!!!
P.S.
I was always called names like ugly, stupid, squirrel (b/c I had long hair and use to wear it in a pony tail), Family will always lift you up, because that is what family do!!! Some people picks on you because they are jealous of you!! If they didn't like you, then why are they wasting their time to talk about you!! They are the one with low self-esteem!!! They want something that you have that they don't, so they have to make fun of you, to try to make them believe that you are really nothing!!! Another thing, when guys picks on you, it is mostly because they like you....I don't know why, but that is how some guys are!!!! The people that picks on you must really like you, because they WOULD NOT PICK ON YOU or WASTE THEIR TIME PICKING ON YOU!!!
2006-10-30 18:24:01 · answer #5 · answered by afinechic_2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why dont u try getting a makeover that can possibly make u feel better...people may be able to sense ur insecurity thats why they kick you when ur down...you should really speak to a couselor they will help u with this
2006-10-30 15:12:52 · answer #6 · answered by mickeyluvesminnie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Travel travel travel!
See the world!
This will allow you to forget such issues and realise there is a LOT more to life than looks.
2006-10-30 15:32:20 · answer #7 · answered by william_gardner 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honestly, i don't mean to sound rude...therapy does help with those issues and more. They might help you see why you feel the way you do.
2006-10-30 14:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by jonina_h 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋