....you married your spouse because 1.they are beautiful, 2.you can trust them not to cheat on you, 3.you know they are madly in love with you, 4.they treat you like a king or queen, and although you married them for ALL these great reasons, you find out that you really don't or didn't love them in the same sense? It's like being in love with the way they love you, but not actually loveing them in the same way. What if you find or found out years down the road that you can't and don't connect to them, that there is no friendship there, and you really cant stand the type of person they are other than the way that they treat you?
What did or would you do?
Is this just being selfish and unappreciative?
Serious answers only please. Thanks.
2006-10-30 06:46:11 · 11 answers · asked by dooder 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Shayna and peaches you both are exactly right. Thanks for all the honest answers.
2006-10-30 06:56:48 · update #1
Blunt, you to make some great points.
2006-10-30 06:59:02 · update #2
Thanks greeneyes75 and good luck Tanya
2006-10-30 07:07:11 · update #3
I have not, and hopefully my significant other doesn't feel that way. But, I understand what you are saying. While this may sound like the ideal relationship, you can't make yourself love her that way. If you don't, you just don't. That being said, you can either stay and try to work things out or go ahead and get a divorce. You can't help who you love. Or don't love. Good Luck. Just remember, this is your life, make yourself happy and everything else will fall into place.
2006-10-30 07:02:03 · answer #1 · answered by Lotus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? It sounds selfish to me. Firstly, you should never marry someone only because of what they give to you. If you don't feel all those same things back, then why get married? Not only are you doing a disservice to yourself, but you are going to break the heart of the person who has been with you all these years. Assuming you were together long enough to see what type of person they are, I'm a little stumped at how you suddenly can't stand them all these years later.
I wouldn't have married someone that I didn't love, and who didn't love me in the same way. Spouses are not like home decor. They can't (well, they shouldn't, anyway) be changed whenever you grow tired of them and want something new and different. Marriage is supposed to be through rich and poor, in sickness and health, through good times and bad, until death do you part. Some people seem to have forgotten that.
2006-10-30 06:52:46 · answer #2 · answered by Shayna 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every relationship goes to stages. After the honeymoon stage is over, then comes the familiarity and the routine... and yes, boredom.
That's what they calll the 7 year itch, when you crave excitment that your aged relationhip doesn't have. If you co,bine that with a mid-life crises, then your relationship is in trouble.
I suggest for you to re-connect to your spouse, go to marriage camp, second-honeymoon or even counseling. You can connect to your partner in different levels and break the circle of routine. You have be open minded if you want to spice things up and put the spark back in the relationship. It's a lot of work but well worth it if you wat to be happy again.
You cannot turn back time and go back to the way things were when you first met your spouse. People change, circumstances change, but wit's up to you to revive the flame and keep the relationship interesting before yopu feel the urge to cheat.
Good luck
2006-10-30 06:54:45 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My first husband was someone that totally changed after marriage and was not the person I thought he was. Years later, huband number two is the most awesome, loving man and I would not trade him for anything.
2006-10-30 06:50:19 · answer #4 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My marriage fits all of those qualifications and we are very much in love and happy. Can't relate!
2006-10-30 06:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like that in my current marriage and I have decided to try and get counseling.
2006-10-30 07:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by Tanya 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i could not even imagine telling someone who was so good to me , that i didn't love him anymore! that would crush him! i think i would really have to do some soul searching on this. because they say you don't know what you have until it's gone....
2006-10-30 06:52:51 · answer #7 · answered by kierstead 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a nut feel sorry for your spouse
2006-10-30 06:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
damn, thats a tough one. i think ive been in the situation before, it might be time for the dreaded "TALK"
2006-10-30 06:59:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
nope, never found someone that good,
2006-10-30 06:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋