and stays depressed. I want to help her but she just keeps pushing me away saying i think im better than her because i attend a university and i dont have kids but im not that type of person. how can i help her better herself. because shes on the verge of emotional breakdown
2006-10-30 06:17:26 · 8 answers · asked by Luckycharm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If she doesn't want to accept your help you can't force it on her. You can however be a little sneaky and if you're involved in a church, get some of the ladies from the church to stop by and talk. I live in pain and a state of depression myself and the people at my church say pray, pray pray. Now I'm not down on prayer, but if could have some of them come by my house and talk about how things are going. Have a cup of coffee! I don't mean for them to preach, I'm just saying someone else that has young kids and could give her a little adult time. I suffer from depression and have expressed the need for some one to help me with heavy lifting and jobs that require climbing and just a friend to come by in the mornings to chat. That might open the door up for you to say hey I'm not doing anything today. Would you like me to sit with the kids while you go out? Or even I'd love to take the kids to the park and play for a while. Would you like some time alone for a change? If house cleaning is another part of the depression then that can be a little touchy. Drop your keys in a pile on a counter and start looking for them and say do you need this? This is last weeks! She might get motivated to get going and the more self confidence she has the more she will want to do for herself. I just wish I had my friends back! They are all dying off on me. I hope I've helped.
2006-10-30 06:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by marciacarter@sbcglobal.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The welfare system has many programs that will help her to enable herself to live an independent life. This would include education. The fact that she is on welfare would automatically qualify her for Pell Grants and or other Federal Aide. If you have the time available you could offer to take her to the Financial aide office and help her get started applying. I knew of a woman who used the system this way when her husband abandoned her and she was able to acquire a degree with assistance from the system. You must be more sensitive to her situation. Given the fact she is the parent of multiple children at her young age it is easy for her to feel overwhelmed and underachieved. It is also easy for you to say "just do it". You aren't a parent. Perhaps you could offer some baby sitting services to her to help her out so she could pursue something positive. I don't mean her going out partying.
2006-10-30 14:29:43 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
welcome to the stress. i'm 27 and i have 1 child, my sister on the other hand just turned 21 last week and has 3 kids ages 5, 1.and 7 months and is also or was recieving welfare, she decided about 2 months ago that she was going to get ajob, but has not yet and has been living off our mom. i just don't know what to tell her anymore it's fruastrating to see her like this.most of the time i feel sorry for her because she pretty much ended her life for NOW. but there still young and have time to go to colleage they just have to wait a while longer for the kids to get a little bigger but they'll be okay.Just don't talk to your cousin about going to colleage right now, help her focus on getting the kids in daycare which welfare will pay for well she goes to work and gets some kind of work exsperiencs and also some grown up time to keep her sane. just try and be there for her as much as you can for her. good luck and i know how you feel.....
2006-10-30 14:26:39 · answer #3 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she have family support? Is the father still around? If not, Try to have her file for child support and get eveything the government has to offer for right now. Make her go back to school and finish college and get a good career. By doing that, She needs family support. Have the family babysit the kids while she's going to school and working part-time. Get Financal Aid when she goes to school.
The main thing she needs is family support and the family needs to convince her to go to school and graduate. Think about her kids. I'm pretty sure they don't want to see their mother sad and tell them that she's a failure. You only live once, make your life a happy one.
Hope this helps!!!!!!!!! I'm 19 and I have a daughter. i have family support and I'm still attending school while working.
I know from experience.
2006-10-30 14:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by jigenlo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's truly interested in bettering herself, help her enroll in a job training program and/or community college, and help her apply for low income child care. Also, help her find a part time job that will fit around her school hours (a single mom needs an income of her own - it's better than depending on social services or the knucklehead[s] who fathered her kids). And, help her go to the local family court, and get orders of support formally entered against the father[s] of her kids.
2006-10-30 14:25:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you or anyone else in the family have the means to help financially support her and the kids? Would it be possible for one of you to babysit so she can at least try to get a part time job? She may lash out at you because to her your life is so much better than hers. keep trying to help her in whatever way you can.
2006-10-30 14:26:18 · answer #6 · answered by DownAndOut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to put the children in daycare and get a job or go to school to get some type of training. Welfare does pay for daycare.
2006-10-30 14:24:05 · answer #7 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to go to a shrink
2006-10-30 14:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋