I'm a straight girl and I've fallen in love (for the first time) with my best friend- a bisexual guy. He's recently fallen for a guy who has been in a relationship with his boyfriend for years. This guy treats my chap really badly and uses him, playing upon his feelings. It infuriates me because my friend is such a kind, decent chap- I hate seeing him used. Three months ago I plucked up courage to tell my friend that I had fallen completely in love with him. He politely turned me down, saying despite the fact he is single, he is "in a relationship in his head". He once told me that, had he not been a bit in love with someone when he first met me, I'd be just the sort of person he would want to go out with. He has also told me he is trying to get over this guy. So, what I want to know is, should I wait for him to get over this guy? Do you think he would look my way anyway? Or am I just kidding myself and living in a fantasy world?
2006-10-30 05:49:29 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I really wish he would tell me he's gay- then, at least, I could go away thinking there's nothing wrong with me. He's had quite a few girlfriends, though. But, I take your point...
2006-10-30 05:52:23 · update #1
I don't think you can make sweeping generalisations about a whole area of sexual orientation. My guy has been celibate for three years now. Thanks for your comments, though.
2006-10-30 06:01:11 · update #2
He's not bi, he's gay.
2006-10-30 05:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by M S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably holding on to some false hope with this situation. First of all, you are dating a guy that is in love with someone he'll never have, but odds are he'll wait around for a good long while before he comes to his senses. Second, he is bi-sexual, which means that there is a chance that even if you did go out with him, he may not be happy with you and may seek out other male relationships.
Best thing you can do is move on and live your life, and if something is meant to happen in the future then it will, but don't wait around for it.
2006-10-30 13:52:34 · answer #2 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...i'm not trying to be mean i don't usually tell people what to do and i don expect them to believe me or anything but what needs to happen is u should go on actually u both need to move on but it's not worth waiting for someone who don even like u back it's pointless...he does sound a bit into guys anyway so it's probably best to find someone who is more ur type...I love having a gay friend they are so fun to be with and they are so freakin' funny but i wouldn't see myself dating one that's a fact but it's always nice to be friends and it's just not worth wasting ur time u have ur whole life ahead of u but if u wait for someone who says they don like u in that way it would be pointless to even waste ur life waiting i would go on with life and know that hey i have a friend by my side so i would say ur saying that ur just kidding urself and u need to go for someone more...straight...at least he turned u down nicely...but it's not the end of the world there are plenty of straight guys out there for u..Good Luck!!!
2006-10-30 13:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's any reason to give up on hope. Hope alone carries a lot of people through the worst of situations, believe me, I know.
Give it just a little bit of time, and if still nothing comes out of it; then try to distance yourself a little to get over him, in that way at least.
Im a firm believer in love and hope, alone and together... I think that once you fall completely in love with someone, your heart never gives up on them, when your mind does.
Good luck, just keep in mind that he's in a sticky situation as well with his heart...
2006-10-30 14:10:49 · answer #4 · answered by llsoinlovell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never put your life on hold
I'm gonna be happy as soon as I go to college
I'll be happy as soon as I lose this weight
If my hair was just not so curly....
If the guy is interested in both sexes, chances are he always will be...if you do hook up, it will be only a matter of time before he is off again...don't let someones sweet talking ways make you go against your own instincts
Good Luck..these things are always painful
2006-10-30 14:04:07 · answer #5 · answered by J B W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bisexual person can never be faithfull.
I wouldn't want to fall in love with one....and thing about the increased STD risk you run. It's not a politically correct point but bisexual men are statistically speaking a health hazard for the heterosexual female population.
2006-10-30 13:56:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Even if he gets over this guy, he's not going to go for you. I don't like saying this, but once the desision is made that one is not going to date someone else... that's pretty much it, usualy. Especially if he was actually in love. no-one gets over that, they just kinda move on, and when they meet someone else, they know. He wouldn't have told you no if he didn't mean it. I'm sorry.
2006-10-30 13:54:38 · answer #7 · answered by erynnsilver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK if you really and truly in love with him tell him again and if he says that he doesn't feel that way about you then tell him that he doesn't know what hes going to miss and then just stop. give him up and go for someone new its not health to long over a guy or just one guy that long.
2006-10-30 13:59:30 · answer #8 · answered by kittycat16_16 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's way too hopped up on this other guy. I would say let it lie. If he comes to realize that you were the one he let slip away then maybe give him a chance - but right now it doesn't sound like you should wait around.
2006-10-30 13:52:20 · answer #9 · answered by Niko 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're just kidding yourself and living in a fantasy world.
2006-10-30 13:53:44 · answer #10 · answered by ByTheSea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are just kidding yourself and living in a fantasy world!!! Straights should stay with straights you will be glad you did, people that are bi are usually mest up in the head for always!!!
2006-10-30 14:05:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋