He met her about a wk ago, he says he seen her 3x; last thurs he saw her and kissed her & last night he kissed her and she gave him a hickie. he cryed and he said he was sorry to pls believe that he was sorry and that he was gonna change, i gave him the wedding ring back and wouldnt take it, he said he could change, & that we will be back together. i love him to death, and i want to believe him but we have been separated for 2 months now & different things keep coming up, there is something inside me telling me that is not someone he meet a wk ago. i been told he been spotted w/his so called best friend wife. the best friend is having an affair. when i ask him he denied it, last night he said he talks to her once in while, but a wk ago i found her bank card in his pants. i love him, should i fight for him? how can i bring him back to me, this man is my life! We have 2 girls 2gether but has cheated b4, but i am willing to work it out should i try? how do i move on?
2006-10-30 05:46:55 · 17 answers · asked by HelpmeFast 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
on his chest
2006-10-30 07:02:19 · update #1
Since the two of You are separated, in His mind it may be alright to be with other women. That doesn't however make it right. He has already proved to You that He is lying, You have caught Him one too many times. My suggestion is a big one. Take His cheating a** on Dr. Phil. He will tell Him like it is, and it might help to be around an Honorable Man. You can also request a lie detector test so that You can have everything out in the open. Your Husband cheats because He is insecure, that is a flaw in His nature, and has nothing to do with anything You have done, or not done. Dr. Phil will also get You the counseling that You need with one of the leading Counselors that He knows and trusts in Your area. If Your Husband really is sorry, and wants Your marriage to continue, then He will accept. If not He will decline. Dr. Phil has said that when Someone has cheated on the Other it must be discussed unless and until the Person cheated on has all the answers They need, and everything has been completely discussed, and a new path created. He also said that always holding the cheating against the Person who cheated, after they have done everything required of Them to apologize, make ammends, change Their ways, and do right, is like going on a trip and sitting in the car facing backwards, never being allowed to see where You are going, but always where You have been.
Put Your foot down now, either way. You and Your Children deserve better. Make Him make it up to You. Let Dr. Phil help.
May God Bless Your Journey
2006-10-30 11:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
How many times do you want this man to hurt you? I understand the he is your children's father. Your world need to change and he doesnt need to be the center of it your kids do. Right now you have low self esteem issues that need to be address. Why would you tolerate him cheating? If he cried once he will cry again. Tell him to cry you a river and float on. You have given him time to prove to you that he wants your family to work (2 months) he hasnt. What more do you need he is being seen around town with women he has no respect for you.Then the ultimate he comes how with a hickey. I am sure he told this woman lies also. He hasnt stopped his cheating ways nor does he intent to right now. As long as he has you to run back to he will keep coming back. I would have kept the ring and bought me something I could enjoy more than his broken promises.
2006-10-30 13:56:27 · answer #2 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-husband did the same thing. Cheated, got caught by her husband, I was told by her and her husband, begged for forgiveness, told me they only kissed a few times, said that he would do anything to keep me. Obviously that included more lying. Like you, more and more info. and proof of contacts between the two of them kept coming up. I loved my husband and he was the world to me. Just as yours is to you. Then I realized that I was not the world to him. If I was, he would've been honest, true, faithful, and committed. He was not. He was selfish, a lyer, a cheater and from that moment on would always be. You cannot take something like that back...especially when you've been offered a second chance to prove yourself. I was waisting a great deal of time, energy, love on someone who was only hurting me. As your husband is hurting you. I'm sharing this with you because I want you to know that you deserve to be truely loved, cherished, respected. You deserve happiness, honesty, 100% commitment. Your husband is only the world to you if you choose him to be. Do you want someone to be your world who lies, cheats, and is killing you from the inside out? That is what you have in the man you have chosen to be your world. You can choose to change that. It would be your right as a human being, a woman and also religiously (if you are) to do so. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You say he has done it before and he is doing it again. This will not change. You obviously took him back before with the understanding that it wouldn't happen again. You gave him his second chance. He blew it. I think it's time for your second chance for a life of happiness. You will find love again and you will recieve all that you give. I have. I got rid of the man who was hurting, lying, and cheating on me, not to mention putting my life at risk. This all happened a year ago and now I have found my soulmate. Always remember....When one door closes God opens another to bigger and better things. You can have bigger and better and deserve such. I hope this helps. Take care.
2006-10-30 15:00:52 · answer #3 · answered by Oracle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a very different opinion on this subject than most of the ones you are going to get. However, If you love him and everything else in the relationship is fine. What is the point? I mean really if you two love each other and have married for better or worse. Why can this not be worked out. You are going to have to be very, very open and honest with each other about everything!
It may be a situation that you just, simply can not live with but you may be able to communicate and make things work out if you just open your mind to a new way of thinking? Just depends on you......Your the one who gets to make this call.
2006-10-30 13:52:47 · answer #4 · answered by Littlebit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you ok with the occasional infidelity? If so - sure, work it out, whatever. He won't change just because he's married to you, get it through your head. As long as you're willing to accept him as he is (i.e., a person who will cheat on you when given an opportunity), you guys will do well together. If every time you're going to make a big deal out of this, and get hurt - what's the point of the relationship? He's doing it again and again - if you're hurt by it over and over, why stay? Open your eyes, and be realistic. If you want fidelity, you're not gonna get it with this person. Figure out what's important to you.
2006-10-30 13:56:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy for 4 months, and he cheated the whole time and lied to me about it, he would change the story saying that I was the one cheating when I loved him so much and wouldn't dare hurting him. He wanted us to get married and have kids, we broke up because I stopped trusting him. He is now with my friend Kayla and continues trying to get with me and continues to cheat on her. What I am trying to say is that men like that don't change. You might know about the cheating, but he has issues. Try counseling. What is the story with the girl? Is she married? If so, I would black mail her and tell her that you will tell her husband or other that she's a sleeze if she doesn't stop seeing your husband. You both took a vow, I think you both need to remember what those vows stood for.
2006-10-30 13:54:46 · answer #6 · answered by goddessheartbreaker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater...You know what I did...I met someone else...and I moved on, I took him back once and that was it. Girl, go out, have a good time meet new friends...It's not worth it, it is going to hurt a lot at first but time heals everything don't talk to him, don't look at his pictures, DONT HAVE SEX WITH HIM....Erase and delete him from your thoughts for a while...It sounds hard. But trust me you will be happier in the long run!
2006-10-30 13:59:54 · answer #7 · answered by violet.starr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this will help you, but I totally believe in second chances. But, you have to change after that second chance. You can't depend on someone giving you a third or fourth chance. Another piece of advice that I'm not sure will help, but I'll leave you with it anyway...that which does not kill you will ultimately make you stronger. You need to do what you think is best for you and your girls. Good luck!
2006-10-30 13:51:13 · answer #8 · answered by BeezKneez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man has been doing this behind your back. Do not for 1 second believe it is the first time he ahs cheated. Its just the first time he got caught. He does not love you. If he did he would never have cheated and been faithful. Find yourself a real man that will stick by your side and keep his zipper shut
2006-10-30 13:53:55 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe this is true......
It doesn’t matter anymore.
I used to sit and wonder to myself,
what it was, I did so wrong.
Could I have treated you different?
or wrote you, a beautiful song.
I loved you with all of my heart,
and I believed, you truly loved me.
You used to say, I was your true love,
and there was no place, you’d rather be.
How could a love so wonderful and pure,
change, from the day we first met.
Was it I, who did you wrong,
or a friend, I will never forget.
But now, it truly doesn’t matter anymore,
why, you hurt and cheated on me.
Because I know, deep in my heart,
It wasn’t I, who cheated on thee.
So I just want you to know,
that if you ever, think of us two.
My life was truly changed, my dear,
and I deserve, a lot better than you.
By: Kenny P aka- Cobra
2006-10-30 13:50:21 · answer #10 · answered by Cobra 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋