I'm having my baby shower this upcoming weekend. We're having one big shower for all of our family (my fiance's family and mine). There are going to be a lot of people coming that I'm going to be meeting for the first time from his family and my fiance and I thought it would be more comfortable for me, and them, if he was there. My problem is, my grandma (who is one of the people throwing the shower for me) said my fiance CAN'T come! That baby showers are for women only! I understand that typically they are only for women, but I thought we could make an exception for him because he hasn't seen some of his family in years, and I thought it would be nice for him to be there and spend some time with them and be able to introduce them to me himself! But my grandma still said no way!
What should I do?
♥ Thank you! ♥
2006-10-30 05:43:08 · 19 answers · asked by Huliganjetta 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I'm from the Dominican Republic and in any Baby Shower that I ever went to or had myself, it was a family gathering. To shower the mom and to congratulate the dad. It is a time to bless the couple with gifts and stories of what's to come. It's also a time to see family members that live too far away to see daily.
I hope that you can change your grandmother's mind. Maybe he could "escort" you to the shower, say hello to family and then leave. It is your decision. After all it is your shower and you should be happy.
2006-10-30 05:52:12 · answer #1 · answered by Gilla 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not just having your baby shower but his as well. This baby was created by both of you so it's important that he be there too. He may become uncomfortable and want to scoot out after an hour or so and that's fine. but he should be there and make an appearance so people can congratulate him as well. Explain to your grandma how important it is for you fiance to be there. That not only would it mean a lot to you but him as well. Try and figure out why she doesn't want him there. Could there be another reason such as a joint bridal shower or something? Maybe she is planning something that would make him feel uncomfortable. Either way there is nothing wrong with him being there. My husband was at ours!! Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy!!!
2006-10-30 13:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by AB11 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your grandmother is old-fashioned. I actually had other guy friends and my husband at my shower. It was so much fun! We had beer for the men (not so they could get trashed, but just to make it some fun) and then they even played the baby shower games- smelling the baby food was the BEST...and too funny- a lot of our friends were sitting there trying to figure out which food it was. It was a lot of fun, and a great experience for all of us. We look back on pictures, and how happy both my husband and myself were- it was amazing!
I would say to your grandmother he is the father of your child, and he will be a part of anything that has to do with your children. If anything, I would find someone else to throw the shower.... your grandmother kind of sounds like my mom's side of the family- so set in their ways, this isn't that big of a deal at all, and she shouldn't get so worked up over it. Goodluck- maybe even try to invite other guys too.
2006-10-30 13:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by m930 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand where your grandma is coming from, but it is a baby shower, not a wedding shower. He helped create the child! So if he really wants to spend time with his family that he hasn't seen in a while, I don't see anything wrong with that. I mean, worst thing is he might get bored! :-)
2006-10-30 13:51:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like grandma needs to back off a little after all you're pregnant and dont need to be stressed out, or at least that's what I'd tell her. I saw this done at a wedding shower, but I'm sure it would work just as nicely. The groom (or father) was there to greet guests as they arrived and chatted a bit. He introduced his Bride (new mother) to his family that she hadnt met and after everyone had arrived and they were ready to start the shower he slipped off somewhere only to return in time to carry heavy gifts to the car. This way you and your grandmother can compromise, and hopefully you're close enough to his mother that she can help with the introductions and to help you remember all of those new names.
2006-10-30 16:00:24 · answer #5 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never understood how baby showers came about being only for women. When my husband and I conceive, I'd love for him to be part of it. Just because he doesn't carry the baby, doesn't mean he's not important. I'd say he's everything in the formula, without him, there'd be no baby.
You might try explaining to your grandma this, and that it's important to YOU, not her, that your fiance be there, especially in a situation where you don't know all of his family. Best of luck and I hope your grandma is understanding.
2006-10-30 13:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by Shannon L - Gavin's Mommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he comes at the beginning to greet everyone and do initial introductions. Then he can become scarce for the bulk of the party and show back up at the end to help load up the car. I've seen this type of scenario many times at showers. Otherwise, he surely has some female family member that you know that can introduce you to all of his family you have not already met.
2006-10-30 13:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by JordanB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Baby showers used to only be for women but now that is often not the case anymore. Maybe try explaining to her that times have changed and men can go to baby showers now. Besides he isn't just any man he's your fiance and the baby's father. Good luck.
2006-10-30 13:47:20 · answer #8 · answered by Miriam Z 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Usually there is a mens area for a shower ... where the guys hang out ... he should come in with you (before the shower) and then afterwards when the shower is over come back and be with everyone ...
She shouldn't have a problem with that ... but I know how grandmas can be ... good luck & congrats!!!
2006-10-30 13:51:59 · answer #9 · answered by emnari 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mother in law was the same way, and I cancelled it. I refused to go if he couldn't because half of his family I didn't know and the other half thought I was trash because at the time our first was born, we were not married. I never had a shower for my daughter, and now I am pregnant again, and she wants to throw another one (and his family is fine, now that we are married) and I told her no way! But it's your choice! Have you explained why you would like him there? That might help!
2006-10-30 13:48:26 · answer #10 · answered by angie_laffin927 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋