2006-10-30 05:25:18 · 14 answers · asked by Tanya 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had asked my husband to go with me. After a few sessions the Dr. just wanted my husband. He continued to see him for awhile and things did seem to get better for a few years..We were at our "7 year itch"...Got divorced 4 years later. If I had to do it all again I would. I believe you have to work at a marriage nothing comes easy. You have to figure out what is best for you.
2006-10-30 05:29:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling helps you sort out the issues. When they are more clearly presented better choices can be made. Marriages are Admiration, Respect, Passion and Trust. If there has been a betrayal, it will be more than two years before the trust can be restored, if ever. Going into counseling, a betrayed marriage partner needs to know that. And a marriage can only be saved if both wish to save it. Frankly, honest opinion? Betrayed Trust is a cancer in a marriage. really hard to cut out. Think I'd try to find someone else, rather than fix a mess like betrayal..... life is too short, and there are others, even when the marriage was a long one.......
2006-10-30 06:20:30 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never been in marriage counseling, but I have provided it. Sometimes it helped and sometimes it did not. As several people above me have said, it doesn't normally help people who are unwilling to try changes in their behaviors. The hardest thing to deal with as a therapist is that most people seem to see it as a last resort. Is it better to go to a doctor when you start having chest pains, or after you have a heart attack? Well, same for counseling; for the maximum chance of success, go before there is too much irreparable damage.
2006-10-30 06:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling does help, but the only way it's going to work is if you both go into it with your mind and hearts open to receive and to make changes in whatever area you need change. Make sure you look for a qualified counselor. Ask around and see if someone recommends a good one. Make sure you ask questions as to what you and your husband want to get out of the counseling sessions and if you're not 100% satisfied, look for another counselor. Remember, you're paying for it so just make sure you're getting some results. Good luck!
2006-10-30 06:20:47 · answer #4 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have been married 14 years and we did go to concealing. I have a very strong sex drive and she does not. When we went to the shrink she did not want to talk about it, just cry and make me feel like sh*t. She still does not want to deal with it. Anyway 11yrs in I banged a female coworker for about 3 hours and it was awesome. I wish I had not done it but after 11 yrs the councilor was surprised that I did not do it sooner, by the way the councilor is female. What I am trying to say is I do not think that works all the time.
2006-10-30 05:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by momojo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly it'll never help if you talk to the shrink. marriage is all about comunication , if you guys love each other you need to talk to each other more and more each day. all marriage going through good and bad. the important thing is do we understand each other's issues after that? if not talk more about it until you both understand how to fix the issues, of course it take two to tangle not one person want to work it out and the other dont. ask your self sometime about how do you do on marriage? you both need to sit down and comunicate to each other's needs and problems, share with your partner your feelings dont hold it in. counseling is making money from people that's what they do , they can tell you all the goodies about things but guess what we all human, say the right thing is easy but do the right thing is not. so good luck to you and your marriage
2006-10-30 05:48:40 · answer #6 · answered by kevin n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are in the process of a divorce. I have been wanting to leave for a long time but I just couldn't do it. He was unfaithful and hard to live with. I had been told by others that I needed to leave. He would always beg me and promise to change. He agreed to go to counseling and honestly, it just showed me that I needed to get out, not try to save my marriage. After two months of counseling, I moved out and filed for divorce. It still hurts but I am happier by myself than I ever was with him.
2006-10-30 06:21:03 · answer #7 · answered by Tiffany A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to one counseling session with a now ex-boyfriend. To me, it seemed like a big sham to pay someone an incredible amount of money to listen to you talk and relate all your current problems back to your childhood. It was the first and only time I ever went to see a therapist.
I'm now married and my husband also doesn't believe in therapists. Fortunately, we have a great relationship and don't need outside help, but I wouldn't recommend going to one. They will only confuse things more.
2006-10-30 06:26:16 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is helpful. You have to find one you both are comfortable with. It might take trying one or two different ones. I feel that most need a counselor that is upfront and can identify problems..not just one that will ask what is wrong this week and talk about it. Progress needs to be made and behaviors need to change. If a counselor is helping the couple do that..he or she is a good one.
2006-10-30 05:32:47 · answer #9 · answered by wartytoadjody39 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before my divorce we went through counseling. I didn't help at all, in fact it just made us grow further apart. The counselar wasn't helpful at trying to mend out relationship, she just kept pointing out our differences. I think counseling would help, but makes sure you find a GOOD and QUALIFIED one! Good luck!
2006-10-30 05:28:58 · answer #10 · answered by Chicken Jones 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋