i am dating this girl who has 2 kids with someone else, i understand the fact that he is the dad and he needs to see his kids, but is it normal for her to let him stay over, she says its because she needs him to take care of them, to take them to school, etc. my question is should i think something of it.
i mean i trust her, but maybe i trust too much, everyone tells me i am fool, but i mean were all adult, and i believe in trust.????
help
2006-10-30 05:15:26 · 9 answers · asked by Rand213 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
the thing is that she says she doesnt want to loose our relationship, cause she says she hates him. (hes the violent type)
2006-10-30 05:27:26 · update #1
She needs to leave the kids with him, during the time that he is taking care of them. If she cannot do that, then she needs to take care of them herself. Parenting is not easy and staying over at the ex's can eliminate some of the hassles.
No one can accurately comment about whether something fishy is going on. If you are only dating, then have a conversation about what a relationship means to you. She might not be in position to start a relationship if the hassles of parenting are too great for her to handle without him staying over.
2006-10-30 05:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by limendoz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your belief system,,,,You have a gut ...now people are making you doubt it???
It is not the norm but I and at least one other friend did this often. Her and her fiancee would have her sons dad stay over..it was good for the kids,, and showed every ones willingness to do what is best for the kids.. YOU MUST BE IN A SINCERE PLACE and you will know it it is okay for you. Some situations whee people live far away or even may need a place to stay apply also. One dad had a drug problem and lost everything, he had no where to go and he was sober. He stayed with his ex and her fiancee. The fiancee appeared to be a great and loving man. But you could be in a situation that is not okay only you know deep down. There is nothing wrong with being a friend to the dad and clearly the relationship with mom is over . I always felt in my situation that if I wanted to be with my child's father I would be it is obviously the best situation. Second best..I have a great guy and my child's dad is a friend or at least amicable,
2006-10-30 13:27:09 · answer #2 · answered by sweet pea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great the father of the children can spend time with the kids in their own home. It's almost like the children have a real, normal family again. I hope the 2 parents fall back in love, or decide to make it work for the sake of the kids. It would be the best thing for them.
Go ahead and make something out of it if you want to, but remember that the kids NEED both parents in the home and didn't ask for nor deserve a broken home.
Consider dating someone without kids and hopefully this family can get back together or spend even more time together.
2006-10-30 13:25:04 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, let me say if it were me in your shoes, then I wouldn't be trusting anything along those lines. I dont' even like it when my hubbies ex calls to "shoot the sh*it", which happens way to often in my household.
And he can take care of them all the while staying either 1) at his own place or 2) at a hotel. There's no need for him to request to stay over night and no need for her to say yes. The kids themselves sound like an excuse they are both using to be able to spend the evening under one roof again.
2006-10-30 13:38:15 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something aint right there. You're gonna have to tell her that you're having trust issues, and you are not happy with him staying the night. She will change things if she wants to be with you, but I'd be prepared, cuz it sounds like there's more going on than meets the eye.
2006-10-30 13:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by Ricardo Montalban 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never ever date someone with kids....
2006-10-30 15:10:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
get out of the picture now i think they are getting back together
2006-10-30 13:23:20 · answer #7 · answered by daisymayNY 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree - it sounds fishy to me.
2006-10-30 13:17:56 · answer #8 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let the chips fall where they may
2006-10-30 13:19:04 · answer #9 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋