well i been dating my b/f for 6 months already and my mom is always telling us that we should get marry.....why???? well because we have been through much in the 6 months we have been together we have been traveling to so many places like if we are marry, i spend most of nights with him u know sleep with him, and the most scary experience we were together when a guy shot at his car like 5 to 10 feet away from the car.......but anyways....when ever my mom ask him if get plans to get marry with me he tells her that he does and that just wait for him to get job as soon he gets better since he got shot...i'm confused before he would tell me that he was not gonna get marry but when i ask him seriously if he would marry me in the future not right now he tells me that what makes me think that he wouldnt marry me.....but i just want to know what u guys out there think about this situation????
2006-10-30 04:50:48 · 8 answers · asked by yessika_213 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
DONT RUSH. I GOT MARRIED AT 17 AND WE HAD BEEN DATING OFF AND ON SINCE I WAS 14... WE WERE SEPERATED WHEN I WAS 18 AND HE FOUGHT ME FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. THE DIVORCE WASNT FINALE UNTIL I WAS 20. HE WASNT WORTH MY TIME ALTHOUGH I DIDNT KNOW THAT AT THE TIME.
WE TOO HAD BEEN THROUGH A LOT TOGETHER. WE WERE IN A MAJOR CAR ACCIDENT TOGETHER AND A FRIEND PASSED AWAY. THEN THERE WAS A STABBING.
I WOULD SAY TO JUST WAIT AND TAKE THINGS SLOW. WHEN HE IS READY HE WILL ASK YOU. AND IF YOU ARE READY THEN SAY YES. BUT IT IS BEST TO NOT PRESSURE SOMEONE INTO DOING ANYTHING THEY ARE NOT READY FOR. IT DOESNT MEAN HE DOESNT LOVE YOU IT JUST MEANS HE ISNT READY TO MARRY. GIVE HIM TIME AND IT WILL HAPPEN. IN THE MEAN TIME DONT LET YOUR MOM MAKE HIM SHY AWAY OR FEEL THAT HE NEEDS TO ASK YOU... LET HIM DO IT ON HIS TIME! THEN YOU KNOW HE TRULY MEANS IT.
2006-10-30 06:02:29 · answer #1 · answered by becca_2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to get married. Six months is a short time. Sleeping together is easy. Staying married is not so easy. Take your time. Don't make any babies. See where this goes. You are not an old lady.
Since he is not in a hurry and you are not in a hurry, tell your mom to relax. It is your life.
Let him sort out the shooting. Let him decide how he wants his life to shape up. Maybe he can figure out how to prevent getting shot at and how to keep his lady from getting shot at too.
Then he might be able to plan for the future.
When he thinks that he is going to get shot at again, I bet is hard to plan for a wife and family. He may need to decide how to change his life strategies so you and he do not get shot at again.
Is he the right guy for you?
You get to decide yes and no, too. How do you feel about the shooting? You could have been shot, too. Do you want to live like that?
What kind of work do you want? What kind of work does he want?
God Bless you and help you make the right decisions.
2006-10-30 13:19:11 · answer #2 · answered by WhoKnows?1995 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldn't push him, and neither should your mom.
Six months is not a long time in a relationship, and considering his shooting accident he has other things on his mind right now! Let him get better physically and emotionally first. There's nothing wrong with dating for a year or two before really thinking about marriage.
Why is your mom so worried about marrying you off? Tell her to stay out of it. It's really not her business. Just wait until your guy brings it up, and if you feel you're ready, then say yes!
2006-10-30 12:55:33 · answer #3 · answered by catwomanmeeeeow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is the case you shouldn't be giving him the benefits that comes from being married until the both of you get married. You are precious, don't you think that you deserve the best??? Don't you think you are worth more than what you are settling for?
2006-10-30 13:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by unknown 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion love is a very beautiful thing. There is a point to what your mother is saying (you're acting married so get married.) but let me tell you from HONEST EXPERIENCE,DO NOT get married until you have evaluated your partner fully.You need to know ALL His/Her dislikes or likes it is important to know or find out what are your goals and dreams and make sure that they all agree with his. again LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL WITH PATIENCE
2006-10-30 18:56:50 · answer #5 · answered by Toyia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why rush to get married just because of a traumatic incident? Wait! You've got plenty of time to make that kind of important decision.
2006-10-30 12:54:23 · answer #6 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt rush something like that, it can mess up your relationship, that kind of "pressure" can ruin it. I am not saying not to ask or anything, but 6 months isnt a long time and if he says he wants to marry you, then try to understand him, like he said he just needs time to get things straight, that's just smart thinking and it will make it easier for both of you in the long run.
but trust me, dont pressure it just messes up the relationship, (trust me). I know you can understand that getting married is a huge decision, and i just think he just wants to make things right for both of ya.
2006-10-30 13:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by Rand213 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THINK ABOUT THIS:
NO JOB......HE'S BEEN SHOT!
AND SOMEONE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM AGAIN!
YOU MOM WANTS YOU TO MARRY THIS GUY!!!!!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE!!!!!!!!
DO YOU THINK GETTING MARRIED WITH STOP THE GUN PLAY?
2006-10-30 14:00:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋