Should I move on?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and everytime we talk about marriage he always ha a good excuse why he hasnt asked me yet. He wants a better job, we are both so busy, he wants to surprise me ,money is tight ect. I am 25 years old and I have a 5 year old child...Should I move on? I am startin to feel like I am wasteing my time.

Answer 1

You should seriously express your concerns to him. Although he is aware of your desire to get married, he may not be aware of the fact that you are worried about the future of your relationship. I do not think you should give him a direct ultimatum, but you should stress the fact that you are no longer seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. He will come around.

Answer 2

If he is waiting on a new job or more money - he (and you if you stay with him) will have a long wait. My buying power have been on the decline since I started working in 1970. Money will generally always be a problem. Jobs are getting harder to find, and raises and insurance coverage are slipping into the history books. With that out of the way, being busy does not constitute an excuse. If you are providing part of the income for the "household", then I would break clean and find someone who is not afraid to give you a definite plan for committment to you and your child. Who knows, if you let him know that you have made a decision, he may turn himself around. If he is "comfortable", then he will never commit. The excuses he is giving are not valid excuses in my way of thinking. I know it is tough to make a decision when you have a child, but only you can put a stop to this flimsy relationship that you are in. Good luck on your decision.

Answer 3

Has he told you that it is you that he wants marry? Is he a good boyfriend and do you feel that he is the one that you want to marry and be with for the rest of your life? You have invested 3 years in the relationship already so you should ask yourself these questions and make sure that he is worth the wait if you decide to stay with him. If he keeps on making up the excuses that he is doing now I would say move on and some day find somebody that does want to marry you and won't think of every excuse in the book.

Answer 4

Well, the same amount of money it would take for the two of you to stay together it will take to be together as husband and wife. Has he ever expressed a desire for marriage? How old is he?

I am guessing that when the subject comes up that you are the one that's bringing it up......don't bring it up anymore. Concentrate on you and your child. You can't make a person want more of you no matter what you do.......Life is short, ask yourself how much time are you going to spend with someone that has no desire to be with you on another level.

Answer 5

Tell him that you need to know if has plans on every marrying you because if he doesnt your going to move on and see what happens from there..good luck I waited 6 years for a proposal and 2 years later I am still not married..just engaged still

Answer 6

First you need to ask yourself, "Am I wanting to get married because I love him, because I have a child and he/she needs a father figure, or is it because I'm getting older and need to settle down?" You didn't mention in your question or details that you love your boyfriend so much that you want to marry him. If you want to get married for the sake of your child or just because you feel you HAVE or NEED to get married, you should re-evaluate your priorities. If you want to marry him specifically because you love him, and he's avoiding the subject, you need to sit down tell him how you feel then ask him how he feels. If he says he wants to marry you, but he wants your life together to be more stable, stay with him, and help him make your life more stable. If he says he's not ready, he doesn't know when he'll be ready, or if he says he doesn't think he'll ever want to get married, you need to ask yourself a couple more questions. "Do I love him so much that I'm willing to wait? Do I love him so much that marriage isn't important for us to be together? Am I so stuck on marriage that I can't wait, and I can't be with him without that ring on my finger?" If you love him, stay with him whether he wants to actually get married or not. If you're wanting to get married for the sake of being married, you have issues and need to seek help. There are a lot of people out there who have been with their boyfriend/girlfriend for decades who are perfectly happy not being married. Relationships are about love, or they should be about love. What's more important to you? Spending the rest of your life with this man specifically or getting married to whoever will marry you? I don't think you should move on until you've asked yourself these questions and talked to your boyfriend. If I seem harsh or way too blunt, I'm sorry. I just want you to make sure you know why you want to get married, and I want you to make sure you don't make any mistakes.

Answer 7

Have a serious talk with him and let him know how you are feeling and that you will move on if he makes no commitment~

Answer 8

why in a rush to get married?

Why buy the cow when you get the cow for free?

If your thinking of moving on, then your just settling, your not in love. If you loved him, you would be happy just to be together.

Answer 9

Best thing to do is not to rush things right now and they will work out hopefully, with time and love you can get what you want and need. good luck to you.

Answer 10

Yep!