how do you know when you have an anger control problem?

Question

My wife says i have an anger control issue, and i feel like maybe she is right, but sometimes it is hard to control. some of the reasons i get angry, are as listed, when i hear people chew their food like crunching ice, chips and so forth it drives me nuts, when people talk during a movie. when my kid talks back to me or ignores me when i ask him to do something and he does not do it , i get very upset.
now i am not physically abusive, but i get very loud and mean is what my wife says. in the mornings is the worst. I don't understand it i used to be easy to wake up and i used to wake up in great mood, but mornings are not fun for me anymore, it is always a fight to get my son up and dressed for school, i have to take our dogs outside, feed them. i drink coffee in morning but i have to wait till i get to work to have my first cup. i feel like i don't have anger issues i feel like i have frustration issues.

Answer 1

Sometimes you just have to learn...and you will as you get older.. that life doesn't always go your way. Things don't always move along at the pace that you'd like them to. And I truly don't mean this to be rude, but the world doesn't revolve around you. Why get angry at your family? How is yelling going to make anything better? It won't. Your son will be afraid of you (that of course isn't what you want) and your wife will grow distant & find someone who doesn't speak to her that way.

You may want to work on your anger issues on your own with your family's support or perhaps, if that doesn't work, seek counseling. No one is blaming you, because there are always reasons why people are the way they are. The problem is to get healthy so your family can be happy.

Answer 2

The best answer is the easiest: when it interferes with the primary relationships in your life.

You need to realize that anger is an addiction for some people just like alcohol. Not all alcoholics drink until they pass out and not all anger-holics are abusive and violent. The difference is that alcohol in excess destroys your brain, anger in excess destroys the good things in your life.

Most of the time anger is a substitute for another emotion, and it becomes easier to go to the fight or flight response. Getting "mean" as you stated it -- is a fight response. Tell me if this sounds right: that the anger is a bypass for frustration at things that you want to be different in your life but that you can't really control -- and behind it all sort of a vague nebulous fear that you won't be able to affect these frustrating things and have to put up with them for the rest of ________________.

The way out seems two fold: first: prioritize and decide what is really worth getting upset about. Write everything down, cross out everything you can't really affect, and then go through and prioritize them by number. Decide if the damage to your primary relationships is worth the cost you are likely to incur if you blow up and get angry. Go over the list again and again and again, and I think you will discover that the list of things to get angry about will get shorter and shorter as you realize what you can't affect and what your true priorities are.

Second is a more subtle suggestion, for both you and your son. It really sounds to me like both of you are short-slept, i.e. waking up in the middle of a final sleep cycle. So try going to be a bit earlier the night before until and insisting that he does as well(in 15 minute increments) until you find the sweet spot where you both wake up less cranky and have him feed and take the dogs outside (if he is old enough.)

Good luck on what is not an easy problem to conquer.

Answer 3

Sounds like frustration issues. Anger control would be (a) someone accidentally bumps into you on a busy street and you beat them silly with the stop sign you just ripped out of the ground with your bare hands. OR (b) your boss didn't react the way you thought he should when you gave him your proposal and you clothesline him and finish him off with an atomic elbow smash. Of course, I'm making light of the subject. People with real anger control issues are borderline psychotic and have really hurt or even killed strangers and loved ones without second thought. Maybe you need to figure out why these things bother you so much and deal with that - as far as your son goes, when you're getting mental - take a quick second to remember what it was like when you were his age and how you acted/treated your parents. And it that's not working, he's a human being, EXPLAIN in simplest terms, without attitude, what's making you mental!
Good Luck, Bra!
Aloha!

Answer 4

Sounds to me like you have a problem... WHen little things like that make you want to explode, that isn't normal. You might just be stressed out for some reason... Frustration and anger are basically the same thing. When you feel yourself getting frustrated at someone innocently chewing their food, just take a deep breath and think about why you want to freak out right then... try to rationalize it and it should bring you to your senses. YOu should be able to tune these kinds of things out, but if you can't, you might need some help. Try to take some time off and relax and pamper yourself...there is a reason women do it....it works!

Answer 5

Anger is normal and healthy. Find an outlet for it, though. You have every right to respect from your kids, and for your children to behave and have manners.

There are many ways to deal with it. Just walk away, cool off, and in the case of the kid, once cool hand out some discipline(grounding, loss of priviledge, etc)

You can learn to block irritating things. Somethimes it's like worrying, worry, or be angry for ten minutes, then let it go.

Stress, anxiety, depression can all make you really angry over the little things.

Answer 6

yeah boi me too man i wouldn't get so mad if there wasn't someone P*SSING ME OFF JUST TO MAKE ME MAD.

yeah frustration that sh*t'll get to ya. QUICK. i hear that if you aren't so quick to get angry(loud or whatever) then the problem eventually dies out but i've tried and all it does is build up inside of me.

i have found that a calm talk between the two warring factions(me and my girl) or in your case you your family and dogs about what makes you mad and why it makes you mad and how it makes you feel when they PISS YOU OFF ON PURPOSE and how they could maybe try and not do that and how you'll try not to get so frustrated so fast and be easier to get along with. run on sentence like a mug

anyway i've found that it's usually not just one persons problem but a problem that everyone is having and not necessarily with each other. it is easy to take frustration out on others for anyone. everyone involved just has to try and make living life together easier. because everyone has stress it's just in how you deal with your stress that allows problems to come up.

or wake up and smoke a big fatty and put a little "irish" in the coffee if you know what i mean
and just let the family know that beatings will continue until the morale improves



good luck with it man i hope i could be of help and that it all blows over smoothly

Answer 7

You have an anger control problem when the people who love you tell you that you have a problem. Yelling is abuse, too.

There is a saying in therapy, "Pass the tissues, I have issues. Please feel sorry for me."

Stop telling everyone how you are not the problem and get yourself some help, or there won't be any people around to try to reason with you.

Answer 8

You should take a deep breath and do something nonroutine in morning. I would say it is frustration leading to voicing anger. Nip the frustration....Fight son to get up and ready? How old? By seven years he should be able to get up and ready. How old were you when you started to get ready yourself? Second grade they learn about time. I learned what a second was when I was about 4 years old and thought it was fascinating...My cousin and I would sit and snap our fingers and say we were letting the seconds pass...lol...Get him an alarm clock.. it is one thing to wake up to the alarm another to ignore and suffer the consequences....Try doing some exercise routine in morning...Good luck and better moods hopefully...

Answer 9

it sounds to me like you used to let the small stuff go but now you feel stressed out and stretched thin i don't know if i would call it anger issues i think you just need an outlet or to learn a few stress management techniques try sitting down with your family and expressing how you feel to them and try to resolve this matter in a sensible matter if you feel like you are going snap get up and just go for a walk with the dogs.

Answer 10

you know you have a problem when once the things that never irritated you, now makes you mad. the people whom you socialize with no longer wants to be around you and many are telling you, you have attitude problem. seriously find out whats ailing you mentally. are you on any kind of medication that might be giving you side effect? it is one thing to have an occasional moody moment and its another thing to scare your family away.