Should I "cheat"?

Question

I have been married for 5 years. I have one child already and want another. My husband doesn't. The marriage is not going so well. Possible divorce in our very near future. To get to the point, Ihave known this "friend" of mine for almost 1 year. He knows all about my marriage, ect. The other day when we were talking, I told him how badly I wanted another child and his comment was "Well, when do you want to start working on it?". I should maybe mention he is a single, 40 year old dad of a 13 year old, and I am 23 with a 4 year old. Should I take him seriously or what should I make of his comment?
serious answers only! NO HATERS!!

Answer 1

I'm pretty sure your husband will know it is not his. Also, why would a 23 yo want to have anything to do sexually with a 40 yo? Yuck. FInally, you got married at 18. That is too young to know anything about the person you are marrying. And now you say the marriage is going badly. D'uh.

Answer 2

I think your question should be: Is this a good situation to bring another child into? As a "good" mother you should be thinking about what is best for your children not yourself.
As to weather you should cheat or not that is entirely your call. Most folks here will tell you it is very, very wrong. I tend to disagree given the situation. They are all different.
Never the less. If you husband has said he does not want any more children right now he may be having second thoughts about the relationship with you.
Normally, you should talk with your husband first before involving someone else and making a bigger mess for yourself and your child than you already have.

Answer 3

ok..ur still young..and hes 43...thats a big gap...things could work out but ,dont just run and have children with anyone....b/c you dont want to become a single mother of two.....about your husband , if you are going for a divorce,.,,do it first than move on...adultery is wrong no matter what excuse you try to think of...you need to leave him behind than move on to what makes you happy.....think of your child now and how he will be effected by this all.he/she is your number 1 priority now....you need to be open with your husband and just tell him its not working out....maybe he'll leave.....if you guys seperate and begin the divorce process than its all ok from there...i just believe that when you took those vows, you did it for a reason,,,,and you should keep your faithful promise,,,just keep this in mind, if you really like that 40 year old man and have ever considered a real future with him, than you need hold back until its over, because if you cheat with the 40 year old , do you not think he will assume you will do the same to him???? good luck!

Answer 4

No, you shouldn't. Think about how many lives would be affected. Yours, your husbands, your child, his child, the grandparents on all sides. The "donor" might seek custody or visitation. Your 4 year old will never understand why you did that etc. If you're positive you want another child and your husband is positive he doesn't then maybe you should separate. But do not bring a child into that kind of situation right now. It's fair to no one.

Answer 5

NO!!!!! Don't do it. You really should give your husband some value. I don't know the situation but little things like a second child isn't something to argue over. Children should be born out of love...... Your friend should step back out of the picture for a while a give you a chance to make a decission about your marriage before opting to be a father. Do your weddng vows ring a bell? Marriage isn't easy work on it and if all fails, keep your options open.

Answer 6

I dont think cheating is the answer. It will just get ugly in the future. Are there any other problems in your marriage besides him not wanting another child? If so, then maybe divorce is the answer and hook up with the other guy and then you can have another baby.

Answer 7

Just because your current husband doesn't want a child, doesn't give you the right to go have one with some one else. Why don't you talk to your husband and try to work things out or get to some type of agreement. Because to me I think that you love him for more then just children. You guys got married for a reason. You have only known the other guy for a year. I think you shouldn't cheat and work out what you have with your husband. Please

Answer 8

I can not see where you would gain anything but another child to look after your marriage is over, If you are in a position where finances are not a problem, then leave hubby, have the child and raise the two of them on your own. but to expect you boyfriend or husband to pay for you wants is just wrong

Answer 9

I am very sorry about your predicament, but please, don't cheat, it would mess up a lot of things, first your four year old will want to know why there is so much friction between her parents, also if your current husband finds out then in divorce court, many bad things can happen, and he'll look like the victim. If you are falling for another guy, please be the bigger person and serve him with divorce papers so what you do after that can be legal. I promise you will feel much better about yourself after that.

~Frenchie~

Answer 10

Maybe he was just simply asking when you want to start working on another child. I don't see what else he could mean. What I don't understand is, why on God's green earth are you even considering bringing another child into a bad relationship? Are you thinking this is going to bring you and your husband closer? Because it's not. And shame on you for even talking to this "friend". You're somebody's mother for heavens sake!! Act like one!!