is there anything sadder than having your life s...... up by your own family?

Question

earlier i ran into the mother of my friend who is an extremely intelligent, good-natured and sensitive girl but whose life is not working out. she suffers from severe depression and there may also be something else. I know where it comes from; the relationship with her mom. It makes me so depressed to know it may be too late. I've tried to help her but either her mom intervenes or she just doesn't have enough strength to pursue a path to a brighter future and she is already 26. I won't go into detail regarding everything about her life because it would be too long but it breaks my heart to know that somebody so beautiful could have a completely different life if they were brought up in a healthy family environment (she can't study, doesn't go out, she's always at home or at the doc's.

What are your thoughts on that & remember - you can't judge someone's life from your perspective and the kind of person you are. Some people just can't try as hard as you can no matter what.

Thanx.

(i would be ashamed to even post something like that let alone live by what you've said).

Answer 1

I agree, there is no question here. You have made a statement, a judgment of a situation. Yet you say you can't judge someones life from your perspective and the kind of person you are.

Might I suggest that is how we all form relationships, by judging someone against our life's experience's. For example, I am not going to be friends with someone who abuses children or women. I don't care how good the guy is around me, his treatment of others forms my opinion of him and affects my choice to associate with him.

Your statement which is not a question proves you do the same thing. You have made a judgement of the person, person's parents, person's life experience and come to a conclusion for yourself.

Answer 2

i am twice your age and the person i love has just had his heart and soul taken away and repaced with hate because of his mother and she has done this on with such evil ways, I Can not even come close to understand what he is feelng because this would never happen in my family and s he has turned the hate ob everything but still loves me? No I fell all his pain and hate every day and all it is doing is bring me down to so I would say she needs to work this out with out taking from you and if its meant to be you will be together later in Life but if she cant pull the straight from inside she might not eve do it, good luck just don't wait till your almost 50 to go

Answer 3

It's not easy to break free from crap when it's your own family that's dishing it out... my past with my family was full of torment... even the memories were constantly tormenting me.
I'm very family oriented, but was constantly being abused, misused, mistreated in all sorts of ways, by a dysfunctional family of self-absorbed control-freaks (they were actually out-of-control of their own selves)... yet I loved/needed them.
However, enough was enough & I just couldn't bear any more... tried to get that thru to them, but they just kept on doing their own thing, regardless of how it affected me.
I didn't have the heart/strength to break free from all the crap... didn't know exactly how to do it.. till the Lord told me to break free from the past, even if it meant from family.
He knew I would obey Him, & that's exactly what I did... He gave me the strength & the know-how to do it... He made me realize I had to do it for my sake, for my sanity, my health & well-being.
When I start missing them, it's only moments later that I recall the hell... & then I overcome the urge to be close to them.
I've never been so happy/content in all my life, as I am now... I thank/praise God.

Answer 4

Hard to comment when speaking in generalities. All anyone can offer is the knowledge that one day your friend will reach her break point and begin to live her life...either with or without her mother. Continue to support her but be careful not to be to controlling or else you will become what you are trying to separate her from.

Answer 5

I recognise simply what you imply. Parents can do plenty of mental harm. The first five years of our lifestyles are the main for shaping the men and women we will be able to emerge as. It's after we be trained approximately the sector & our location in it. As you develop up, mum and dad maintain to be your function units & in which you get your experience of defense & self-valued at. I grew up with an excessively passive, uninvolved father & an EXTREMELY poor, depressed mom. She used to be very neurotic & frightened of the whole thing & attempted to make her kids the identical approach. She discouraged me everytime I attempted to do some thing constructive for myself, some thing that could imply progress or getting clear of her. She crippled my trust to the factor in which it used to be rough to do some thing. It's taken me a long time to break out from her & make a lifestyles on my possess & I feel she's nonetheless the poor voice in my head, however I've found out to forgive her. I recognise she could not aid the best way she used to be. I recognise that during her possess approach she adored me. She used to be simply very unsatisfied & anxious (her father passed on to the great beyond whilst she used to be younger & so much of her lack of confidence gave the impression to stem from that). She selected to are living in a field & be frightened of the whole thing. Things nonetheless scare me however I drive myself to do them considering that I do not wish a sheltered lifestyles. I desire your pal the exceptional. The primary factor is to be powerful & attempt to break out from the poor impact. We do not get to pick our mum and dad. But we will pick how we react to the harm & we will pick how one can are living the relaxation of our lives. People can conquer exceptional barriers. I nonetheless love my mother however I see now how so much she stifled me in the course of my lifestyles. In a few methods despite the fact that, her negativity driven me to excel (in college). Nothing used to be ever well ample so I stored looking to be higher to win her approval (& nonetheless not ever rather gained it). Maybe I do not need gotten A's or gained awards if she'd been convenient on me. Then once more, I would had been completely happy & good-adjusted, taken extra dangers, unfold my wings & flown plenty quicker! Oh good. We all have our experiences. Some worse than others. I do not feel any one has a best loved ones!

Answer 6

There's no question here. Nothing to answer.

And quite frankly, their relationship is none of your business. It's between them to work out, your friend is of legal age.