ive just had this big realisation that im trapped and i want my life back. ive got a 2yr old and a partner and we live in a council house and i hate all of it im not sure i love my partner anymore as having a baby at 20 made us different people, id just started to live wen i got pregnant i wanted an abortion but he didnt and i was glad i didnt until recently when i started feeling like i did 3 yrs ago wen we met, ive got my energy and passion back and nothing to put it to all i do is look after my son and the house im totally lost i have just wanted to walk out while my son was upstairs sleeping thankfully i realised i was being stupid and selfish. but i just want my life back. what can i do.
2006-10-30 03:49:57 · 29 answers · asked by kimberley w. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to talk to someone! Having kids does not mean you can not have a life though. I have 2 and have a fulfilling job that I enjoy. I still go out by doing babysitting swaps with friends on a weekly basis - it all just takes a little more organising than before.
Having children is hard work on you and on a relationship. I suggest you both go to Relate and talk these issues over. We did and it completely changed our relationship - after all what have you got to lose?!
Do not give up yet. There are things you can do with your life - study, work, go out, holidays..... It seems to me you are a little depressed and desilusioned with your life but it is up to you to grab the bull by the horns. Talk to your partner, make plans of what you both want to do with your lives and support each other to do them.
Good luck
2006-10-30 03:54:31 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Difficult as (and I don't mean this 2 sound nasty) but ya kinda made ya bed n have to lie in it Hun. Although as long as you don't take the Michael there's no reason why u can't have your life back. If your partner wanted your son so badly then whats to stop him babysittin while u go out? Or a member of family? If ur unhappy you should get out now before it's 2 l8. There are lots of single parents who go 2 work n cope, and ur partner has no choice but to help with your son. Don't waist time dwelling on it, babes, do something now while you can and good luck, Hope it works out for you xxx
2006-10-30 04:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by crazychicklisieloo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, happiness is NOT having what you want, it's wanting what you HAVE.
Think of all the positive things in your life, regardless of how small they may seem. You have a child who loves you, you have a computer, a roof over your head, a warm bed, heat, food in your fridge, etc...
In the meantime, talk to your partner and find time for yourselves. Also, make time for a day out with the 'girls'. Get your girlfriends together and do a dinner and movie or something.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-01 22:49:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your young and youve still got some growing to do. No wonder you feel trapped.you could be growing apart it does happen. Do you ever go out together, just the two of you. Do you go out with your friends? you may also suffer from postnatal depression.
Im a single mum to a gorgeous 7 yr old been on my own since i decovered i was pregnant. Its not easy and i have bad days when i feel like walking. your not selfish or stupid you need support and something else to focus on rather than just the house and your son. I m currently studying which helps me.
Talk to your partner about how you feel also talk to your G.P they may be able to offer some counselling for when you get your down periods.
hang in there. you not alone many people feel like you do.
2006-10-30 03:58:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Calm down you have a baby there it is but you do not have to stay in all the time trapped as you say think of all the things you can do with a 2 year old the fun you can have to walks in the park
you have company someone to talk to and giggle with .Now there are other options day care or childminder get yourself a job then you will have a different outlook on life and you would meet new friends
2006-10-30 03:58:40 · answer #5 · answered by Carol B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to talk to your partner and ask him to leave if thats how you really feel, if you dont want to be with him this will make you unhappy and your child will pick up on it. You are not being stupid or selfish, its only natural you want a life too. Try to find a nursery for your child and see if you can get part time work and that way you will meet new people, also ask a friend or family member to babysit now and again, so you can have some me time.
2006-10-30 03:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by Annie M 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best thing is to tell your partner how you feel.
Find something that you've always wanted to do, and do it. Remember money is no object; it's your life, live it. Find something you can enjoy just by yourself, and compoletley forget about the rest of the world:
sports, meditiation, hillwalking, reading books, etc.
Just find something to fufill your life; this is why you live after all isn't it? Make sure your partner also has the same sort of plan, so that you can each enjoy something by yourselves, also try and have a family walk each week.
2006-10-30 03:55:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ask the b/f to take time off work and swap rolls for six months let him be the mum for awhile while you have a break from the house you are still young though you will find in a few more years your kid will be off to school and you will have the freedom your looking for to go out and get a job so you can save up the cash to get you out of the council house and into one of your own ...any way what ever it is you choose all the best in making the right decissions but allways remember the kid has to come first.....cheers A DAD
2006-10-30 03:59:11 · answer #8 · answered by stuckbetweenlove 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A big realization huh? Sex outside of marriage results in a child, and the responsibility of that is for 18 years they rely on you for everything.
Others have suggested you grow up, well I have to second that with respect to looking at what your life responsibilities are. The decision to have a child is one that changes your life forever.
The welfare and care of the child supersedes your personal wants and desires. Anything you want for yourself has to be balanced against the responsibilities to your child.
Its time to grow up from a child's emotional mentality into a responsible adult mentality. It sounds like you have made that realization, but don't want to accept it as reality.
Look into your son's face and eyes, you are like a hero to that child, everything you do will impact the person he becomes in his adulthood.
What can you do now? Do your best to provide the best enviroment for learning, loving, and being an example to your son.
2006-10-30 04:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get some counseling and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get a job or start studying if you are not happy with staying at home all the time and you have got so much energy. Make the best of what you have got
2006-10-30 03:59:08 · answer #10 · answered by Eileen 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋