There's a friend of mine who is married, she found out she is HIV positive about 3 months ago, her husband is the one who infected her with the virus and he admits it as well. He has also cheated during the marriage as well. I did talk her into staying with her husband, but with he's not being supportive whenever things get tough, she just wants to leave. On top of all that, they've got the loveliest child in the world, please help with some words of comfort, guidance and wisdom.
2006-10-30 03:48:34 · 13 answers · asked by DolphinLami 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the bible says that you cannot divorce exceprt for sexual cruelty (which includes adultery) infecting someone with HIV - is sexual cruelty, and it done deliberately and playign russian roulette with someones life -its an imprisionable offense, Now I know the bible says ' til death us do part' - but I really dont believe this was part of the command. I feel your wrong to brainwash/guilt her into staying, her husband is in my opinion a snake scum or the lowest form. If she wants to leave - I think you should pay for the taxi, !
2006-10-30 04:03:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you do is stay out of their marriage. How dare you tell your friend to stay with someone who has jeopardized her health and may potentially make their child an orphan! What the hell were you thinking?
Your friend is in a really tough spot and should probably go to a support group for people with HIV. There are probably people in her same situation that can help her through this difficult time. I'm not saying that she's been given a death sentence, but she needs to make sure her affairs are in order and that her child will be taken care of should she and her husband not be able to care for her. In reality, this should be done regardless of the HIV infection. It's just good planning.
It is up to your friend, not you, to determine what is best for her. She has to make and live with decisions concerning her husband, and it's inappropriate for you to do anything other than listen to her and encourage her to get counseling and stay on top of her health.
2006-10-30 11:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all if he is still out there cheating.....that is not helping the situation. How could he not be supportive doesn't he need support as well. Besides HIV now days is not a death sentence there are many people living well beyond the years expected. Encourage your friend to keep her head up high, take her meds and stay positive. After all she has a child to raise and grandchildren to play with.
2006-10-30 11:52:52 · answer #3 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because she has HIV does not mean she can not have a somewhat normal life. She can find someone else who will love her and adore her and live out the rest of her life with her making her happy.
She is not dead yet. I truly do not believe she has to stay with this guy. If they are no longer in love with each other what is the point? And how could she still be in love with someone who has done this to her.
She still has time to find someone to love in her life. When she finds the "right" man it will not matter if she has HIV or not. If he loves her he will want to be with her and make her happy.
Stay positive.
2006-10-30 12:03:02 · answer #4 · answered by Littlebit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to be surrounded by family and friends that will support her and the child. Her husband giving her HIV is such an act of betrayal I don't think I would be able to forgive him myself. To have an affair is one thing but to not even think of wearing protection for the sake of his own family is out of this world. She needs medical help and a counselor and possibly a divorce!
2006-10-30 11:58:48 · answer #5 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hope that her husband's behavior has changed. I do not know if it is a wise idea to stay in the marriage, but if she thinks they can make it work, then she should stay. The big problem is that her husband is to blame for her inevitable death. This will always be an issue in their marriage. This will also be an issue to their child when he/she gets older. The husbands selfishness has ruined lives, and I do not see how they can move past this. Obviously, if they are going to make it work, they need counseling. He will have to learn what is important in his life, and the impact his actions will have. She will have to learn to forgive. This will be very difficult for all involved.
2006-10-30 11:54:52 · answer #6 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Uh, no offense, but you need to revise your position on suggesting they stay together for the sake of the child. Your friend needs to leave the marriage both for the sake of the child and herself. But it's hard for me to believe that the wife would stay with her husband, who has now consigned her to a life of drug cocktails and an almost certain death sentence. If I were you, I would counsel her to get divorced A.S.A.P.
2006-10-30 11:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Firstly I would encourage her to get away from that loser, he is the cause of her down fall really a death sentence, although we all have to go but naturally is the best way now he has taken that from her and the baby, Does these other men/women know of his disease he is affecting them, I fell sorry for that woman but if I was you I would get her away from him she can get good support elsewhere.
God bless her and the baby.
2006-10-30 11:58:20 · answer #8 · answered by Ivan 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think that she should leave this man. He not only cheated on her but he infected her with HIV. That is not love and she deserves to find love in her life.
2006-10-30 11:55:24 · answer #9 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
At this time, she may not be in the right frame of mind to reason with you. Give her time to come to grips with it. Continue to provide your support and encourage her to seek help. Good luck
2006-10-30 11:55:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋