I been such a good wife, and we were best friends for a year before getting married. I am tired of being accused and called a ho-he is lucky that he has such a loyal understanding wife. He left and I havent talked to him for days, i am so angry at him, he is angry at me too. I feel like I hate him, yet I love him so much and miss him, but I want to put my foot down to the name calling situation. I think that he went out partying this weekend. I am 31 and he is 26. Is it because he is younger? I am always staying home and trying to be a good person, take care of myself, but I dont know where he is, he lives out of town. I am hurting. Plus there are other peoples alway trying to sabotage my good rep by saying bad stuff bout me and he believes it.
2006-10-30 03:26:20 · 15 answers · asked by she_wah_dee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a hard time thinking he's cheating because when we dated we both strongly agreed that cheating is the worst thing EVER, he's being so negative towards me, why can't he see my good behavior yest when we argue i get defensive and angry because I am not a cheater.
2006-10-30 03:42:38 · update #1
Girl, he's cheating on you. That's a pattern for a lot of guys who are cheating on their women. They accuse them, cause a BIG fight which in turn leads to one of you leaving giving him a chance to cheat on you while he's not speaking to you. Accuse him right back once he decides to come home. 99% of the men who accuse their gf/wife of cheating is cheating on them and is trying make them look like the bad person.
2006-10-30 03:31:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Usually the one who accuses is the participator in such behavior themselves. He is obviously being cotrolling and jealous because he is looking at other girls when you are not around and therefore thinks you are doing the same thing to him. He knows he can't trust himself but rather than be humble and admit that he has a problem, he transfers his guilt to you. That makes him feel better by convincing himself that you are just as bad or worse, therefore, his behavior is what you deserve. You see how the guilty mind warps the mental process?
My advice for you is to get to a marriage counselor immediately and work out these problems before they ge out of hand. If not, you will need to end this bad marriage before too much damage is done. If you let this continue, he will escalate into brutality and you don't need that.
2006-10-30 11:52:30 · answer #2 · answered by rac 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me and my husband have been married for three years. But in the beginning he was the same with me. Not accusing me but going out while I was at home. But the thing is we also agreed never to cheat. we have been together for five years before getting married then he pops up and says he had three other girls while he was with me. And we had a child at the time. So for my sons sake I stayed with him and also i feel strongly about marriage. I feel if you get married you deal with it. So my opinion, if he cares for you the way you care for him he shouldn't listen to what others have to say about you. Also he shouldn't leave you at home while he is messin around doing who knows what. I say you guys should consider looking at your relationship over and see if it is worth it.
2006-10-30 12:09:45 · answer #3 · answered by Mary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is accusing you because he is probably the one who is cheating. My first husband was the first to tell me how horrible cheating was and how much he could not understand how married people want to cheat. He even went so far to telling my family that marriage is sacred and cheating is so wrong bla bla bla. He also would get mad if the opposite sex payed any attention to me. He acted as though I asked for the attention. He cheated on me and left me for another woman. I would check into your husbands intentions it is not an age thing it is a snake thing.
2006-10-30 12:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful. What you describe is known as pathological jealousy. He wants/needs total control over you. Does he also tell you what you can and cannot wear? Try to alienate you from friends and family? He may be very insecure. You guys need to talk about these things, with professional help if need be. If you don't get this cleared up soon you will either be alone or miserable. Good luck.
2006-10-30 11:56:47 · answer #5 · answered by Unknown Oscillator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first to do the accusing is usually the first to do the abusing!
Honey, if he is accusing you it is probably that he has done it or has been thinking about doing it. You two should have a talk. If you are constantly being accused of something you did not do you are more likely to just go do it.
After all if you are constantly being accused of a crime you did not commit you might as well give reason to the accusations.
2006-10-30 11:40:17 · answer #6 · answered by Littlebit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, you need to get out of this marriage. Due to you being older and him being younger .. he still wants to be out there. He must be cheating on you and due to the fact that he is, his guilty conscious feel that you are doing the same. You can't always be home waiting for him, you need a life of your own, a man who will really love you for what you are. And do me a favor, don't get married!!!!
2006-10-30 11:45:55 · answer #7 · answered by moon_stars_sun2004 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we were married 10 years, i thought it was a good one, but he began name calling, accusing me of cheating,falt finding, and it was as if his whole personality changed. he began smoking pot, hanging out with low life's, when i protested, he asked for a divorce, later learned he had another woman he had been seeing awhile. i played by the rules, i never once cheated, but in the end it wasn't even enough for him to even agree to go to counciling. i would say there is a good chance he is cheating.
2006-10-30 20:00:50 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my personal opinion is hes cheating on you so please do us all a favor and WAKE THE HELL UP are you really that dumb because if you cant see it then you deserve everything you get you are way too nice leave him he does it to you because he knows where you always are at HOME being a good little wife while hes doing all the real ho's in town wake up SERIOUSLY for the love of god !!!!!!!!!........E
2006-10-30 11:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by ellie_m1123 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he's probably accusing you because he's the one cheating and this is how he's chosen to deal with it. Don't take that kind of crap from him, if you're honestly good, then put your foot down and stand up to him.
2006-10-30 12:11:42 · answer #10 · answered by burnttoast97 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋