what do you think starts relationship abuse?

Question

i am doing a sociology paper on relationship abuse and i need input on why it happens and who is usually the one getting abused?

Answer 1

I really hope this this info you require is for a paper and you are not being abused. On the question "why does it happen" The person doing the abusing already was like that before he/ she entered into the relationship. He/ she was abused as a child or young adult. But that doesn't make it ok, that person can make up his/her own mind to do it or not. Both my parents drank and as a child I saw this and what it did, I made the choice not to drink because of what I saw. As for the second part of your question, as sad as it is, most of the time it's the women that gets hurt. The man for some reason (that could be a whole new paper) thinks he needs to be in full control in any way it takes. Even when it means hurting the one he is suppose to love. Take the control freak out of a guy and there would be a lot less abusing

Answer 2

Abuse always happens and both partners do it, from time to time. That's the nature of intimate relationships. Most abuse (i.e. manipulation, hostility, blame, bullying) is so subtle that it's barely recognize able. Most abuse does not escalate to a severity that could be considered violent or emotionally dangerous. However, any long-term relationship has the potential to develop patterns of abuse which become so routine that neither partner recognizes it. Ask anyone who's divorced and you will be given specific examples.

Answer 3

What starts relationship abuse is a person that does not respect the other person in the relationship. A weak person. Happens typically because the abuser is a control freak that must have it his or her way. An abuser is sick and not out for the other person.

Answer 4

The women let happen most of the time, when you write the paper, look up all the info on, the genetics of abuse, boys that have seen men or there fathers, abuse there mothers, usually grow up, abusing there partners

Answer 5

I don't think that it just happens. I believe, being that I was in an abusive relationship when I was 16, that it starts out great. They do all of the things it takes to make you love and respect and trust them. Once it starts to get comfortable, I believe that is when they manipulate the relationship. I know that in my situation, he would follow me without my knowledge and then he would call me and say that he was proud of me because I did just what I told him I was going to do. It is really hard being young and being in that kind of relationship too. He was 18. He would make comments about us getting married and having kids, and I was freaked out big time. He would tell me things like If I ever left him, that the outcome wouldn't be good....that kind of thing. He was really sweet in the beginning. So, like I said, once it got comfortable is when the abuse started. For 7 months, I had a cluster of constant bruises on my chest from him giving me knuckle punches. So, when it came time to go to Prom, I told him I wouldn't go if he didn't stop doing that because it would show. I still to this day, get freaked out when my husband and I are wrestling around and he touches that area. But, if parents are more aware and close to their kids, they would see what is going on. My mom didn't know, bc I hid it from her. She would have killed him if she knew. SOrry if this was so long.

Answer 6

my own experience lead me to to realize that the abuse started from his up-bringing and that it doesnt matter whether it's a guy or girl doing it - both sexes do. his parents were verbally abusive towards one and another - manipulating the situation - and occasionally were physically abusive. they were also verbally abusive towards him. he learned how to lie really well to manipulate and control the situation.

i agree with what someone else said ... it's hard to notice at first because at the beginning everything is fine. people tend to spend more time together in the beginning when the relationship is all young and new and happy.

i know for me over the course of several months i started to realize i hardly ever spoke or saw the majority of my friends, especially those he did not like. he had jealousy issues with every male i came in contact with - with the exception of the men in my family. while i was on the phone he would listen in on my conversations. i was given "gender guidelines" as to what was to be done around the home ... ie i do the cooking, cleaning, etc and he sits on his lazy *** and occasionally would hang up a shelf ("manly stuff").

the best reading i ever saw was from a friend of mine in austin ... she got it from safeplace ... you might be able to find it online ... it shows the cycles of abusive relationships. the honeymoon stage where everything is great, then the escalation of anger where a lot of time the abuser will refrain from showing any emotions, then the explosive stage ... then it cycles all over again. i realized when i saw it how much of that was going on in my own life. it made me happy i was out of it. but it helped me realize all the subtle things he was doing to control my life. who i saw. when i got home. who i spoke to on the phone. what i did in my free time. not until the end did he try and verbally knock me down about say my appearance ... but he did convince me that all these people were doing me wrong and lying to me and that he was the only one speaking the truth.

all in all i would say it happens on both ends, but i would believe there is a higher percentage of women that get verbally or physically abused over the number of men that do.

Answer 7

I am not speaking from experience, but common sense would deem it necessary to think one person being taking advantage of another in any form both mentally and physcially. Anger, being unhappy with ones self can start an escalade of abuse. Constantly criticizing someone verbally putting them down, emotional abuse, then of course, hitting in any form is unacceptable. I have heard/read both men and women get abused, I don't think its gender specific. Alcohol/drugs can also factor in, they can make people do crazy things. If someone is unstable, anything can set their trigger off. Scary isn't it!!!

Answer 8

Usually it is the female getting abused. This is not because of the relationship, but because of things that happen in people's childhood or past.

Answer 9

Its hard to say when it starts. I was in one for 4 years and when I look back, its hard to remember, but I do know that verbal abuse is the beginning of it. It starts when someone takes away your confidense. My ex emotionally abussed me first; calling me names, telling me no one loves me ect...Since he took that confidense away, I felt as though I deserved it. I felt as though I was always in the wrong. I felt as though it was always my fault. I now know that It was all him. I now know that he did it because of his own insecurities. He wanted control, power and I gave it to him. The ones that get abused are the ones that let it happen. If you want more I can tell you lots more... I am very open about it!
-j

Answer 10

I am 48 years old...and have been exposed to different types of abuse..started with my father and physical, and mental abuse..(mom and dad are now divorced) I married a man that mentally and physically abused me..now am married to a man that mentally abuses me...recently while complaining to my mother about something that my husband did...she told me a bit of advice...that I have to admit ..sort of made me angry at first and I thought she was being heartless...then I thought about it.....it was the best advise ANYONE has ever given me........YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS....gotta think about it..........hope this helps....it is helping me!