terrible two's...?

Question

My two year old son is a complete terror.he gets into everything.And he hits and bites and spits..I told my husband that he will outgrow this stage but he thinks that he wont..Does anybody have any idea if they outgrown this terrible two stage?

Answer 1

Wow, it's stories like yours that make me feel so lucky! My daughter turned 2 a few months ago, there is definitely a bit of the terrible twos stage in her! She'll go to hit me when she gets mad occasionally, but knows she's not supposed to so it's not a constant thing. Haven't had to deal with biting yet, and she never really spits just for the purpose of spitting at someone in particular.

Our worst yet is when she throws a fit about sitting in the cart at the grocery store, when she has to sit in her carseat and decides for no reason that she just doesn't want to, and when she wants to be independent and walk by herself, but doesn't want to hold my hand.

I hope that it's true that they will grow out of things your son is doing, but you still have to deal with it in the meantime. I would think it would only continue to be a problem if you ignored the issue and let him get away with it right now.

Answer 2

Depends on the child. Terrible twos are mainly caused by the child's frustration at being unable to communicate his/her needs properly so typically, a child who has an above average vocabulary will not suffer from the terrible twos as badly as one who can't talk. Another cause of it is the child learning that s/he has a personality of his/her own so s/he CAN say "no" and can touch the plug socket even after mummy and daddy have said not to. For some families the terrible twos can be awfully destructive turning their beautiful baby into a screaming monster! Lol. Tantrums, hitting, screaming fits and a refusal to do anything that the parents want all usually come with the terrible twos. They mean that shopping trips, days out and evenings alone (as parents) might go out the window as their child's unpredictable behaviour rules the roost.

Answer 3

Yes toddlers do outgrow the terrible two's but sometimes it runs into terrible three's. The only wy that he will outgrow it is if he is taught that it is not acceptable to hit, bite, and spit. You need to correct the behavior each time or at least reinforce the idea that it is unacceptable each time or you will have real problems when they are school age. Most schools have a zero tolorence for any and all of the things you listed so stay on him and he should be okay.

Believe it or not these really are the best years because once they start school they come home with all sorts of lovely habits and ideas that they try out.

Parenting with benign neglect is easy.
Good parenting is priceless.

Answer 4

You need to have adequate consequences for his actions. His behavior sounds quite over-the-top for even a two year old. However, each child is different, so it is quite likely this could be "normal". Here's my ideas for proper consequences and a routine to follow:

When he misbehaves:

1. Come down to his level, this is VERY important so he doesn't feel like you're towering over him, look him in the eyes, and calmly but with an authoritive voice tell him that this behavior is innapropriate and he must not do that again.

2. If he does it again, make him go sit on the "time-out chair" or "time-out rug" for 2 minutes..When the 2 mintues is up (i chose 2 minutes because generally the time period for time-out is 1 minute for each year of age), come down to his level again and ask him to apologize. If he doesn't apologize he sits there for another two minutes. When he apologizes, calmly tell him it's okay, and you love him, and give him a hug.

3. If he is naughty again repeat the process.

This may become tiresome at first, but generally they will behave much better and you will see results within the first week of doing this.

If you have trouble putting him to bed at night, email me and I can offer more information for that. Good luck!!

Answer 5

Dear Modig: Two year olds talk back, say "No!" perpetually, and throw tantrums. I believe it is the human "ego" asserting itself and expressing that it is no longer an infant, and has a Will that wants to experience it's " Self ." The terrible twos is a time period in which that Self expression must be guided and taught. They take in everything at this time period. They must be turned from wild little animals to well-mannered, considerate-toward- others Beings. The Guidance from mom and dad, at this time, is the whole "enchilada!"

Terribly tiring for mom and dad. A fight to the finish for supremacy. At two years, the ego is a raging "ME !" And it roars like a lion to express it's dominance. While this is not true for every single child, far too many of the wee ones are like this now.

BUT, there is a normal range for this transition from it's infant position in the house - to the new position of childhood. IF you can see, objectively, that your child has rages and behaviors outside of what YOU would perceive as a normal-range, take action. This Generation is being born with tremendous rage behaviors. And, no one is blaming the parents. That is a generalized statement, but nevertheless, there are more groups organized today for rage management in children (small) than any previous Generation has known. There are private small clinics that take these children to teach special methods of behavior management. The sooner the classes get started, the more success you will see, even within one year of time. They teach the parents what to do for "this and that" behavior, and teach the little ones how to express themselves differently. I don't know if they recommend beginning at the age of two or three, but I think they like to begin as quickly as possible.

You owe it to yourselves, and to the child as well, to look into this. You might begin with a Pediatrician's office - inquiring into the type of thing I am speaking of. If he/she cannot give any clinic names to you (within your budget), ask for a recommendation to some community services department that can make that type of recommendation and direct you.

Do not allow a Pediatrician to tell you, "Oh, it's nothing . . .just the terrible twos. . .he'll outgrow it!" As a responsible, caring parent YOU make the decision for yourself according to the behaviors you are witnessing, and the Pediatrician is NOT!"

Rage management is top priority. Hitting parents, and biting is not productive of a happy, loving family life. As it continues it can destroy the dream of a happy, cohesive family altogether.

"Super Nanny" is on hiatus right now, but the TV show will begin again soon. In California, USA I watch it with great interest at 8:00PM on ABC (our channel 7) during the week. ABC will tell you when it will resume. This British nanny deals with nothing but rage management in these little ones - the show is one hour and has wonderful insights and teaching methods. You won't want to miss it. She goes up against really difficult cases (and has been bitten on the show!).

Best regards, Lana

Answer 6

My daughter is 16 months and already showing signs of the terrible twos. I'm a bit surprised because she was such a good baby. My OB recommended the following book because he had used it with his twins.

"The Girlfriends' Guide to Toddlers: A Survival Manual for the Terrible Twos" by Vicki Iovine

I haven't gotten it yet, but I've read some of her other books and found them helpful and entertaining.

I think most grow out of it, especially if you don't just ignore their behavior. Children need discipline. It helps them feel safe. You need to be consist ant with the discipline though. I can't tell you what type of discipline is best, just that consistency does work. As soon as you give in, they know they can manipulate you. It becomes very hard work for parents. But as another reader answered..."this too shall pass". Hang in there!

Answer 7

Unfortunately they outgrow it. I say unfortunately because two is the greatest age. They keep you laughing with all the new things that they do. Although your son has a little bit of a behaviour problem he will grow out of that too.

Answer 8

Dont just write it off as terrible twos, because next it will be "oh, well its terrible twos and threes" and the behavior will never stop. Terrible twos does NOT include biting and hitting or even spitting. It just means this is when they develop their attitude and test your boundaries. So make sure you set your boundaries!

Listen to your husband. If you dont make sure he stops this behavior now, he will not outgrow it.

Answer 9

he outgrows it by you staying calm, ignoring most tantrums, and teaching him that it is wrong to hit (for anyone to hit) and it is wrong to spit and bite. Remove him from the presence of other people if he is harming them; sit with him until he calms down and tell him you expect him to behave right and you will help him stay safe until he learns to calm himself. you say this nicely, reassuringly.

get 'how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk."

Answer 10

I'm there with you...my daughter is 20 months and is there also...he will outgrow it it will probally take a few months though