What is the first step to take when you have hurt someone and their trust in you has been destroyed?

Question

Recently went through a difficult period and shared information about my relationship that I shouldn't have. The man in my life has lost complete trust in me for going outside of our relationship and telling thhose in our circle of friends negative things about him. During this time I felt frustrated, angry, helpless, anxious, etc and didn't know how to handle these feelings. Our relationship appears to be through and the guilt I am feeling for destroying everythjing we built together has now overwhelmed me. Where do I begin to fix things when it is obvious he wants out of our relationship?

Answer 1

if it was before him, he has no business judging you,, move on from this guy

Answer 2

I have been thru this.. He was very hurt. I let him say whatever he wanted, and i deserved it. Tell him you are sorry, and ask him to just listen to what you have to say, give you a chance to defend yourself. Tell him you love him and you know you were wrong, and you didn't mean to hurt him, but you are only human. Tell him you love him and don't want to lose him. Ask him to find it in his heart to forgive you, and then leave him alone. Let him cool down for a while. once the initial anger and hurt fade, he will be thinking more rationally. He needs space. Just ask him to really think about what you had as a couple before giving up. Remind him why you loved him in the first place. Tell him how you were feeling when you did those things, and that you did not know how to handle it. If he truly loves you, he will come back and work things out, like my husband and i did. It will be extremely hard, and it will take months, years, for him to restrengthen his trust. It's not easy, but it is doable. I know how you feel. It's horrible, but don't give up. Good luck to you and i am right there with you because i have been thru it, only mine was infidelity. Take care.

Answer 3

You really haven't done anything wrong that you should feel guilty about. Sometimes it's good to have friends to air everything out with, especially if you cannot discuss things with your boyfriend. The issue here is not trust, but understanding on his part.

Answer 4

Give him some space. YOU broke that trust and now you have to give him that time to trust you again, if you keep harrassing him, you are not giving him the chance to get over it. Let him be for a while. When he is ready he will come to you. But if he doesn't then learn from it and don't do it again!
-j

Answer 5

Good luck with that. It all depends on the type of person you're dealing with. I have done everything in my power to make it up to someone that i hurt, only to be not trusted and treated badly for years. In my opinion, I would apologize to him, then let him go his own way. Start fresh with someone else, and learn from your mistakes, so you don't repeat them.

Answer 6

Let him be. If possible, have a discussion with him and share your side of the story and let it go from there. If he chooses to leave you, then that's his decision, and, unfortunately, your loss.

Answer 7

you've got to start over again comppletely if he'll let you
learn from this and try to get him back if your love can survive then it'll be stronger afterwards

Answer 8

if he wants out the best thing to do is let go. if he loves you as much as you love him he'll come back.

Answer 9

The first thing you have to do is apoligise. Then you need to tell him why you did it.

Answer 10

APOLOGIZE. AND IF THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM, THEN MOVE ON. WE ALL DO STUPID SH*$ FROM TIME TO TIME. BUT LOVE IS ABOUT FORGIVENESS. IF HE CAN'T DO THAT, THEN YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM.

GOOD LUCK.

Answer 11

eventually nothing once u loose their trust its hard for that person to trust u back since u did it once .....