How do I kick out my 19yr old daughter out of the house who is out of control with Anger Mgmt issues?

Question

She has been violent with me in the past (pushing & kicking me). Her own friend stopped her from striking me in the head with a glass vase, for asking her to return the house key, after calling me a *****. She does not speak to me unless she curses, she purposely messes the house constantly, vomiting in plastic bags toilets & the shower, she is a stripper, cut herself with blades in past, she does not contribute to the house cleanup nor financially, invites friends over to house to lay all over my furniture & bed, uses & eats food around the computer, smokes weed, placed lock on room door, moved in her troublesome friend who was kicked out of her grandmother's house for assault, her friends disrespect me while in the house, leaves bathrooms like gas station stalls, eats all groceries & trashes the floor with waste. Family fears she may burn down the house or kill me. Afraid with no control over daughter & unsure how to handle the situation without feeling guilty -Please help

Answer 1

Hi there single mom. This sounds like a possible dangerous situation.Sounds like she has no respect or compassion for anyone-not even herself. You really need to call the police and advise them of your situation and that you are going to kick your out-of-control daughter out. If you are afraid that she might retaliate and try to come back in somehow then explain your concerns to the police as well. Your safety and well being is important to you even if it's not to her.Hope things work out for you.Take care and the best of luck to you.

Answer 2

What happened to make your daughter snap? I'm assuming that she has only just begun such self destructive and abusive behavior. Maybe your ex husband had custody and you are just now becoming aware of her habits and personality, due to you just recently gaining custody. I say these things because I cannot see how a person can get to be 19 before you notice that they are out of control. But a 19yr old would not be involved in custody battle without extraordinary conditions, so I guess I can rule that out. I won't be so insensitive as to say that you've done a horrible job at raising her but I am wondering what you've been doing with your daughter from newborn to age 18. Are you an elderly woman? Because that, I would understand. Why wait until a situation is out of control to do something about it? But that's more like saying, why cry over spilled milk- what's done is done.

The important thing to remember is that your daughter is an adult and unless she is physically disabled, you're not obligated- morally or otherwise- to help her in any way. You cannot expect your daughter to have any respect for you if you whimpishly let her run you over. For goodness sake, your daughter would not be here if it were not for you. How can you allow her to make you feel so weak? Where were you when the friend moved in? Out of town? Take some responsibility for your house and what goes on in it. You don't seem strong enough to actually put your daughter out so I, in agreement with many of the other people who posted answers here, would suggest that you go to the police and get the court system involved to protect yourself. Go to the police and tell them that you need to put your daughter out but you're afraid that she might put up a fight. They will escort her out and off of your property. The court system, with a restraining order, will keep her off for as long as you say. There is no peaceful way to get rid of a drug addict. So you might as well resign to doing whatever it is you have to do.

Answer 3

Have an protection order against yourself, call the police and also get a restaining order on her. Make sure if you have a video camera, put all this on tape so if ever something happens, its your word against hers. Plus you will have proof. If she does not work, and likes to cut herself and on drugs, you being the parent can have her put in a mental hospital.Change all the locks on the door, so when she does leave, you can lock the doors and windows where she can not get in. Buy a sign from a hardware store and place it by your front door, claiming you have a security system that is programmed to the police department, if she has any ideas of breaking a window to get in. Simply tell your daughter she has to go. If she dont leave, I recommend what I said up above.

Answer 4

Wow, she seems to be a real problem. What I would do, and I don't know if it would work in your situation, is write down some rules for what you expect of her, start charging her rent(doesn't have to be much, just something). Treat her as a tenant as opposed to someone who has free reign of your house. Tell her she needs to keep her space clean, only allow friends over when you approve it, tell her that she is free to stay if she will keep the rules you have set for her and pay her rent. Tell her if she does not care to agree to this 'contract' she is free to live somewhere else. Give her time restrictions, like if she doesn't want to agree she will need to be out of the house within a month or two. Keep to what you say, if she seems to have no intentions of leaving, you can legally evict her. Send her a letter of eviction, certified, so it will be proven that you sent it. Call the police station, they will be able to help you if she won't leave. You have no legal responsibilities to keep her since shes over 18. She seems to be quite unstable, if you feel unsafe around her at any time, do try to get a friend or even a police officer to come over to make sure she doesn't hurt you.

Answer 5

Oh so sorry for what is going on in your household. I am sure you love your daughter very much but you can't keep living like this. If it was me, I would pack up her stuff while she is out. Change the lock on the front door. The minutes she arrives at the door, call the police and tell them the situation, they need to know in case she does something. Have them escort her off your property. Also, have a male friend there with you. She will only get help when she see's that she has no where to go and that you are not taking it anymore. She keeps doing it because you are letting her do it, as well as letting her friends do it. I am sure it will be very hard on you but you must do it now...today. About the guilt of course no matter what you do, there will be guilt but think of it this way, you will force her to make a choice about her life, to examine herself, thats tough love...You need to think about yourself and your safety as well...Good luck to you, take care of yourself!

Answer 6

It is YOUR house and your daughter is beyond out of control.

If you think she is smoking weed in your house, you do realize YOU COULD GO TO JAIL FOR THIS?

Forget her locked bedroom door, she pays no rent and has no reason to expect privacy. If you really want her out, go to the police station and file reports. Inform them you need a restraining order and then give them permission to search her room for drugs. You can kick the door in, again it is YOUR house.

BUT if you do these things be prepared, your daughter will hate you even more and worst case scenario, she will end up in Jail or Dead from an overdose. It really sounds like that will happen anyway.

She is an adult and you are under no legal obligation to continue enabling her destructive, illegal behavior.

Fight back before it's too late.

Answer 7

Oh for gawd's sake, I am so sorry to hear that.

First thing, right off the bat: It is NOT your fault. Kids have been too empowered, and make their own destructive decisions. She could have decided to go in the opposite direction just as well.

You HAVE to call the cops any time you feel threatened. Some counseling, and programs available kick in then. But she must be willing to participate.

With a broken heart, you may have to change the locks in the house to leave her out. She is 19, working, and must have the willingness to better herself, on her own. If she harms the house, you report her to the cops. A court then may help you recover money for the damages

Best of luck to you.

Answer 8

Next time, CALL THE POLICE and have her arrested or removed. Get a restraining order if necessary.

If you think that will ignite her even more, help her find a room or apartment, maybe pay the first months rent for her. She should have no problem paying for her own place if she is a stripper, and can maybe find a roommate.

Don't feel guilty--you do not deserved to be afraid and terrorised in your own home.

Answer 9

Be strong and say this is your house and you will not put up with her antics and she can leave. She must be respectful to you. Except nothing else!! Tell her to move and give her a short time limit...2-3 days if she stays respectful...if not, throw her **** in the yard, call the police, change your locks and get restraining order and let her know you love her but you will not accept disrespect in your own home. Let her know you mean business and understand you are doing her a favor.

I had a teenager I had to file domestic violence charges against. He's 20 now and better...He's moved back once and was very respectful. When he was 19 he still came over and disrespected me and I would kick him out. I stood firm and was consistent. He knows I won't deal with it.

Answer 10

I think u should call someone to help and to take your daughter where they can help her to become normal again try help lines or even the police if u hav to bt dont let her stay bcause it might soon get worst so get ppl to help u get her out of the house even thou she is ur daughter dont feel guilty u will be helping her if u send her to a place like a rehabilitation center and later on she will thank u she probebly is in a whole load of probeblems and the only person she can put her anger on is u bcause she knows she is stronger...but she really needs help so make sure u call an organisation 2 come and take her and take care of her till she is better