My 16 yr old daughter lost a friend and an acqaintance in a car accident this past weekend. I can't seem to find the right words to comfort her. All I can do is hold her while she cries.
2006-10-30 02:23:17 · 14 answers · asked by mommawe 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I, too, lost my good friend in a car accident.... right in front of my parents house! He was on his way home to mow his mom's yard and someone tried to pass him in a no passing zone and tapped the back of his car...instead of hitting the brake..he pressed on the eccelerater and sped into a telephone pole...
That happened almost 23 yrs ago...and you don't get over it...
Just be there when she wants to talk, be there to hold her when she cries...when she gets angry let her scream...when she withdraws...let her have some distance...but always be a shout away!! My daughter lost a friend last year...he had a heart condition no one knew about...he took some meds and it caused him to die...he would have been in college this year...She still cries about him...but the smiling about his craziness...still happens with her and her friends... Just keep doing the things you're doing...right now ...words won't work..but actions...will! Our condolences on the loss and God speed...
2006-10-30 02:46:15 · answer #1 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this a hard question to answer because it depends on the kind a person your daughter is. What I am talking about is when I was 16 my boyfriend and his sister who was my best friend were killed by a semi in a car accident. I didn't want to be bothered. I know I made it really hard on my mom and friends because I didn't want to talk all they could do is hold me a tell me that everything was going to be alright, but that really got on my nerves. I know it is hard just try to be there for her and make sure you let her know that you love her and that everything will be okay no matter how much she does not want to hear it. I hope this helps at all. I send my regards and good luck and best wishes. God Bless!
2006-10-30 02:32:35 · answer #2 · answered by tee3663 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's loss. Holding her is good. Be there whenever she needs to talk. Letting her know how you recognize the terrible pain she is going through.
This is an awful tragedy and she may experience bouts of anger and periods of lethargy. Explain to her that grieving is a process, it has a beginning and an end. But she will never forget her friend and will always carry her memory with her. Her friend can always be reached in her thoughts.
You sound like such a caring person having written on here for help, I am sure that whatever you do it WILL be the best for your daughter.
2006-10-30 02:36:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is 8 and she recently had a friend that was hit by a car and killed so I know what you're going through as a mother. I told my daughter that bodies are like pictures. When the picture is taken the body is there but there is no soul in it. I told her that people are the same when they die. The body is there but there is no soul in it. Just like the picture, the soul is somewhere else, living, doing, playing. Let her cry as long as she wants and keep making yourself available as a pillow to cry on.
2006-10-30 05:21:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your actions speak louder than words and it sounds like you're doing a great job. Unexpected things happen in life a lot, some good and some not. i think the important thing is to cherish the memories of the people we no longer have in our lives, and we do this by respecting and appreciating ourselves and the lives of others around us. Grieving is a good thing but so is moving on and being happy. Her friend would surely want that.
2006-10-30 02:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost a friend when I was that age also. Mainly the only thing you can do is be there for her when she needs you. She is probably in shock, disbelief, angry, and very devastated. Let her know that you are there for her, but don't expect her to just jump back into her normal routine for quite a while. She just needs to know that she has someone to lean on. Good luck to you and I'm so sorry about your daughter's friend.
2006-10-30 02:41:30 · answer #6 · answered by val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if you can say any thing, i lost a close freind in a car wreck last year. nothing my mom, or family could say came close to comforting me. and you have to be very careful to, some times when trying to comfort you can sound like you dont care. that is how i felt a lot. if she wants to email me che can. i am 16, almost 17.
2006-10-30 04:07:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This I can't even imagine to know what to say to you. It's hard enough to console a family member with the lose of a loved one, but to have to do it at such a young age...I wouldn't know what to do either. Just be there for her and listen / cry and or laugh about the times they had together...it will get easier...just watch her and be there for her when she needs.
2006-10-30 02:26:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably doing the right thing there. Somethings can't be expressed with words.
2006-10-30 02:25:24 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best phrase that i can give is that "Time heals what reason cannot" and you just have to go on through life because it will get better.
2006-10-30 03:34:21 · answer #10 · answered by dog2b2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋