My friend has told me that my close female friend believes that I’m dating another girl, who's quite a looker and that she’s happy for me! At the same time, she has been acting weird (feeling down,tired,can't approach other blokes) towards me, gone cold, not wanting to meet, not saying much, practically ignoring me!!!-didn't have argument/falling out. Its only with me,no one else. Is she feeling jealous? My behaviour towards her has not changed since I’ve ‘started dating’ this girl, only her’s towards me. A coincidence?
Does this show that she actually fancies/has feelings for me? If she’s happy for me, why is she ignoring me? Why has she not mentioned/spoken to me about this girl e.g. how’s it going, etc surely good friends would?
p.s. I’m not dating anyone, the looker is only a friend who I don’t fancy at all, have feelings for my close female friend.
What can I do? I don't want us to drift apart and don't want to lose her! Help...
2006-10-30 02:19:29 · 18 answers · asked by roadtripman90 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
When I ask what’s wrong she says I’m reading too much into her behaviour and will not say. She also won’t meet up,txt me bck, so how can I tell her that I’m not dating this looker?(so that she’ll believe me) When I suggested (before) we should take the friendship further she disagrees, why? Especially if this is how she reacts to me being with someone else…(though I’m not).
Any suggestions on how to resolve this...please?
2006-10-30 02:20:31 · update #1
p.s. what should I say to her?
2006-10-30 02:20:55 · update #2
Could I have this all wrong?Women...!!! :)
2006-10-30 02:23:26 · update #3
Would she get in contact with me??
2006-10-30 02:42:15 · update #4
When would it be too late to resolve?
2006-10-30 03:18:41 · update #5
She's scared. She didn't think you would work as a couple so she told turned you down, not wanting to ruin your friendship. Now she thinks you have moved on and she's realising what she's missed out and thinks its to late. I did the same but unfortunately it really was. He had started dating someone else.
You need to make it clear that there isn't anyone else. As friends you should be able to talk about anything. It'll be hard but you gotta approach her with all of this. Don't let her think you're with this "looker" cos she's gonna be feeling that she could never compete with her so why bother...
Please please please talk to her. It'll be worth the risk im sure! What have you got to lose? She's gone funny on you anyway!
2006-10-30 03:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by Fay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are other explanations about the change in behaviour:
a) She fancies the girl you are allegedly attached to.
b) She is simply possessive - doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you.
c) Doesn't really like the supposed girl-friend and so has doubts about you, your taste, appropriateness as a friends etc.
d) She's heard bad things about the alleged girl-friend, but doesn't want to seem to be interfering but doesn't want to seem to be lying to you either.
... the scenarios are endless.
Maybe the person who told you in the first place (and who seems to be in communication with both of you) could innocently slip into their conversation with your female friend that you are flattered etc but don't have a girlfriend.
The observation that she has changed behaviour towards you so radically suggests that emotions are involved, so don't expect logic and reason to be the solution. People often don't know how to properly read their own feelings nor how to manage them.
Is there any chance of you and your friend being part of some group activity (party, going out somewhere) and using this as an opportunity to defrost the thaw?
2006-10-30 02:35:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she seen the other girl (the looker)? If she has she may not feel that she matches up to her in the looks department.
Its obvious that she likes you and probably wants to be more that just friends. At the moment shes down because she doesn't feel like she has a chance with you and is doing her best to get on with things and its probably easier for her to do this if she doesn't see you.
Tell her how you feel, dint let it be too late ( No its not too late yet). Tell her and show her that you have feelings for her. How important is your 'looker friend' is she more important than your 'close friend' who you have feelings for.
Try not to see the 'looker' for a while and try to tell your 'close friend' how you feel. If she wont see you, go round to her house she has to see you then, or send her some flowers with a meaningful message like 'I'm lost without your friendship' or tell her 'I wish we were more than friends'.
If she means a lot to you don't give up trying. It's hard and sometimes you may want to. Ask her how she feels about you.
2006-10-30 02:40:00 · answer #3 · answered by jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.. this is an odd situation. Naturally my first instinct is that she is jealous, this would lead to the conclusion she does in fact have feelings for you. My concern is that a) you haven't actually cleared up the fact you are not dating anyone, but b) when you suggested taking things further, she said no.
I am trying to figure out why she turned you down. It's odd. Maybe just let it lye for a bit and see what happens. If it makes you feel better, you can always send her a text that says you miss her and just want her to know that you aren't seeing anyone and that you care about her. Can't hurt, I mean you are hardly talking as it is.
If she doesn't respond, then consider it her loss and let her come back to you. If she does care about you (which I think it sounds like she does) then she'll get it together and figure out what she wants.
Good luck.
2006-10-30 02:31:59 · answer #4 · answered by Chloe M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well she obviously has feelings for you and maybe they are frightenign her. You say your good friends maybe shes afraid of ruining the friendship if things did go further but her actions now are ruining your relationship to. You could go round and try and talk to her or write her a letter tell her how you feel. let her know your not dating anyone and that you feel things are drifting apart and your upset about this as you dont want that to happen.
Im sure once you can really start communicating with each other then it will sort itself out.
Good luck
2006-10-30 03:22:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, too many questions! but probably one simple answer, if she is ur friend, make her listen to u, face to face, cut out the text it to inpersonal, and calous.. set her straight that this looker is only that, u have no feelings for her etc... and that it is her that u like and want. she is through and through jelous about the whole thing, and cant deal with it, U NEED TO TALK TO HER and tell her how u feel. Women can be strange, but we are altogether see through, and we do things that we mean but dont know that we are doing it...
good luck, and i'm sure that it will turn out the way that u want.
2006-10-30 04:25:55 · answer #6 · answered by storm.minx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go and talk to your friend, there could be any number of reasons why she is behaving the way that she is, I think you should be honest and tell her how you feel, even if she does not have the same depth of feeling for you, you wont lose her as a good friend, and it might help for whenever you start dating someone else, for her to realise she is not going to lose your friendship.
2006-10-31 10:13:22 · answer #7 · answered by wings 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, this girl is an obsession for you. I know it's hard when you have really strong feelings for someone but you need to stop for a minute. Try not to think about it forwards, backwards and inside out (I do that alot too!). You're trying to second guess every possible scenario and it's impossible to know what's going to happen. I think it's best to try to relax ... breathe .... and go with the flow. If it's meant to be, I honestly believe it will happen.
2006-10-30 03:14:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two scenarios:
1) She is in love with you.
2) she is not in love with you , but you pissed her off recently, and not telling us about it.
What should you do? If you fancy her, come clean about your feelings. If you don't , forget her, if she is your true friend, she will remain your friend even if she fancies you and you find a grilfriend.
Friends shouldn't treat each other like this even if sometimes one can have a smaill "crush" on another ( i am sure many people being through this?)
2006-10-30 02:54:32 · answer #9 · answered by Nikolaj B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe this girl does like you a lot but is afraid of ruining the friendship you already have maybe you could send her flowers with a nice message explaining things to her how?do you really know what the other friend has told her? as the saying goes say it with flowers then let her contact you good luck
2006-10-30 02:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by scourersandscrubbers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋