Yesterday we were talking about how some women can be so homely that they look like a man dressed like a woman. My 15 year old daughter said "Yea, like your ex." My husband became defensive and said. "Do you always have to be insulting?" We haven't been married long, so the testing time is still going between these two. So the fight was on with her being tacky and him telling her she was being rude and me telling her to quit being hateful. Then he was angry with me because I giggled a little at her quick wit with the opening remark and the fact that I didn't outright tell her to shut up. But after him defending his ex's beauty of 20-25 years ago, all I could think was that he still loves her, so I was trying to curb my thoughts so that this didn't come out in a family discussion.Was he just defending his taste of 25 years ago and correcting my daughters insulting dry sense of humor, or is he truely still having fond memories of his ex so much so that he feels that he has to defend her?
2006-10-30 01:52:50 · 15 answers · asked by Angel L 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thought maybe I should add reason for the discussion. Earlier in the day we had seen a person that we thought was a man dressed like a woman.
2006-10-30 02:14:33 · update #1
Might be that he took the joke as a reflection of him, his ex. It didnt sound to me like he was still harboring feelings. I know that I like to know that people think my wife is pretty and even my ex for that matter. I havent seen or spoken to my ex in like 10 years but for some strange odd reason (and I didnt realize this until reading your question) Its made me feel good when people have looked at our old pictures and commented on how pretty she was. (Old wedding pictures we found when we were getting rid of things.) And believe me, although I hold no bad feelings for my ex, I have zero feelings of love for her.
Maybe this is the case with your ex too. Maybe this is one of those oddities that we men have, dont like to admit and hope the people we love will humor us and overlook them? ;-)
2006-10-30 02:05:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-08 03:28:58 · answer #2 · answered by Marcela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter was being tacky and you, not him, should have corrected her immediately. You most certainly should not have giggled, you are not setting a good example for your daughter. He stayed with this woman for 20-25 years, therefore, there must be a lot to like about her. I am sure that at one time he loved her, but he has chosen to be with you. There was nothing that could be called humor in your daughter's remarks. You and your daugher both should be ashame of yourselves.
2006-10-30 02:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by bettyswestbrook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I did not pick up that he still loves her. What I pick up from your story is that he was frustrated with rude behavior. If you look at the whole story there really was not any reason for the comment. There could have been many other analogies made besides throwing the ex-wife into it. Perhaps that was the point he was trying to make to you and your daughter that rude is rude and uncalled for is uncalled for. I mean think about it this way would you and your daughter been offended if he or his child had said that about your ex?
2006-10-30 02:01:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say he was more defensive due to the fact that he did marry her, therefore to call his ex ugly is in one way insulting his taste in women. I have the same problem, except my hubby says he ex wife was ugly (and trust me she is), but when my daughter pointed out her fat behind the other day he got angry. Then when I stood up for my daughter (I laughed at her remark same as you did) he called me "jealous" and a "psycho". Oh well. I'll always stand up for my daughter no matter what stupid names he can come up with. But, I have told him on a couple of occasions that he should be defending me and my child, not his ex-wife.
2006-10-30 02:01:39 · answer #5 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
15 year olds lack the sense of biting their tongues, and she really had no place to insult the ex. Whether or not, your hubby still has feelings for the ex, is something you have to figure out, but remember who is he married to? If he shows signs of still loving his ex, then that needs to be addressed by you.
2006-10-30 02:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your probably reading to much into it, in this case. Really the conversation about people being "homely" and talking bad about people really isn't a good idea in the 1st place. Especially with a child present, your teaching her it's ok to talk bad about people or its ok to put people down. As for your husband I doubt he is still in love with the ex he probably just doesn't want a child talking bad about someone he actually knows, it probably wouldn't have bother him as much if it was a stranger she was talking about.
2006-10-30 02:02:18 · answer #7 · answered by magnolia_76 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think he just felt like your daughter was being tacky. I don't think he is still in love with his ex, though I guess anything could be possible.
2006-10-30 01:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might not be still in love with her...but your comments sound as though you are not just putting her down, but demeaning his ability to make sound decisions. At some points in time he made decisions about her...when you weren't around. He's made others since then about you. So if he feels that you are demeaning his ability to make good decisions...are you also saying that the decisions that he has made about you are also bad?
2006-10-30 01:58:05 · answer #9 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The conversation about the homely women was extremely rude, have you nothing better to do with your spare time. Sounds like he was correcting your daughter but I can't figure out y when he was already talking about homely women. Can't all be perfect like you ya know!
2006-10-30 01:57:51 · answer #10 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋