2006-10-30 01:24:01 · 18 answers · asked by Viola N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, why doesn't he think you would make a good mom? I am not blaming it on you but generally people don't say things like that w/out reason. Maybe he wants to make sure things are good between the 2 of you and that finances are in order before he decides to parent a child. I wouldn't try to get pregnant behind his back, that might push him away. Just wait it out a little to make sure things are good before you have a baby. I wanted one and my husband didn't. I waited, it was worth it to me to have one a year after then to make my husband have one he didn't want to have at the time. The whole reason was because of money, we didn't have any. I'm glad we waited. Of course, God didn't want us to wait any longer because I got pregnant while on birth control. Point is that I was willing to wait and have that bundle of joy when he was ready. No reason in putting kids on someone that doesn't want them.
2006-10-30 01:54:17 · answer #1 · answered by ~*~frankie~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a aweful thing to say.I am sorry. how are you financially i mean maybe he is worried about that. Sometimes when you hav ea financial strain its best to wait when you have the funds. Having children is alot of work. I know because i have two. I love them so much. with my last child i tied my tubes but they were reversable. I wanted kids so bad again i told my doctor and pointed out my options a week later i had a menstrual issue and had to have a emergency surgery. Now i can't ever have kids permentally. I wishi never tied it in the first place. i would give anything to go back and erase that part. My mind set then was not wanting anymore and i was warned by my own doctor. I hope he does change his mind. Try asking him in a month or so and see what happens goodluck.
2006-10-30 09:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did he say you won't be a good mom or do you just think he thinks that?
Having children is something that affects you for the rest of your life. Wanting or not wanting them is so huge! You two really need to talk! If you have a child, will he resent you for it. If you don't, will you resent him. Down the road this will happen. A woman's need for a child can be overwhelming and more powerful than a marriage. Please try to work it out, one way or the other. You married each other for a reason, there must be love. If you need a child then I think you should have one, If it's with your husband or not is up to you. (Meaning if the marriage will last-don't cheat)
Good luck - mother of 5 - and lovin it!!
2006-10-30 10:49:56 · answer #3 · answered by msr9805 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is absolutely horrible that your husband doesn't think that you would be a good mom!
Having children in a marriage is definately something that the both of you should want. If only one person wants a baby and the other doesn't, it is deceiving to try to conceive a child. In fact, if you try and actually do get pregnant and your husband does not want to have that child, there could be legal consequences against you.
Having and raising children is a very special thing, but some people don't want children. I would respect your husbands wishes and continue to talk to him about it. Maybe there is a reason why he does not want children. Maybe there isn't. But, this is your marriage and it is your right to know and his right to not want children. Good luck.
2006-10-30 09:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the question for you to answer is 'would you be a good mom?' Wanting them isn't enough. If your husband doesn't want children and you 'arrange' to get pregnant then you are starting out the wrong way. (most pregnancies are not planned) Children are a major responsibility and will take up much of your time and consume a large part of your life. If you are ready and willing to change your life to accommodate them then wait until you are.
2006-10-30 09:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by dano 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no cut and dry answer for this question. You are really going to have to discuss this further with your husband. If the two of you can not come to an agreement, then you are going to be very unhappy and this could very well affect your marriage. I assume that ya'll worked this out before marriage. What has changed his mind since then?
2006-10-30 09:29:51 · answer #6 · answered by heaven o 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why wasn't this discussed before marriage? This could be a marriage breaker. And why doesn't he think you would be a good mom? Or is that his way to shift the blame from himself to you about not having kids? I think maybe you two need some marriage counseling. Good Luck
2006-10-30 09:28:08 · answer #7 · answered by sheeny 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's fair for him to say you wouldn't be a good mom, second of all I think you both should want kids, him not wanting kids will make him not want anything to do with the child if you got pregnant. Which would only make your marriage hard and the poor child would be stuck right in the middle of it, please don't try to get pregnant unless if you both want kids.
2006-10-30 09:39:53 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks like a dealbreaker. And the fact that he doesn't think you'd make a good mom is reason enough to be offended. Why wasn't this discussed before marriage?
2006-10-30 09:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I dont think there is anything you can do but wait it out. Hopefully he will change his mind soon. If you have sisters or know someone with children you can perhaps take him around them, set up a plot to have him hold an infant in his arms. That may help to speed him up abit. Good luck.
2006-10-30 09:30:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋