Three years ago my husband had an affair and i just found out. At first he told me it was with his buddies girlfriend then a few weeks later his story changed and he said it was with a girl that he was working with for 3 days. He wants me to trust him again and let the past be the past but I am having a hard time with it. Do I believe his story that he was with only one girl or was he with more. I am not sure what to do. Some of his stories just dont add up.
2006-10-30 01:15:09 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally the fact he did it once even is a problem. The fact that his story doesn't stand true and changes means he is hiding something. If u were just dating I would say dump this guy, but u are married and obviously have invested time into this relationship so if u love him and ever want to feel trust for him again I have seen through others that the only thing that works is counselling. If he isn't willing to go to that then he doesn't care much about the marriage or have remorse for what he is done. More importantly than the fact he cheated is "why" he cheated. If you can resolve what the core problem is that led him to cheat then there is a better chance he won't do it again. It will take alot of work and time to trust him again, but if he is not willing to take the steps to give it to u then I guess u will have to take a step back and think about what is best for u. No-one deserves to sit and wonder where their husband is and what he is doing all the time, it would drive u nuts. I hope it all works out for u either way.
2006-10-30 01:27:46 · answer #1 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say this but once you're husband has cheated on you, it is going to extremely hard, pretty much impossible, to ever trust him again and if you decide to stay with him you are only going to be hurting yourself. You will walk around the rest of your life wondering if your husband is telling you the truth when he comes home late from work or goes out with his friends and do you really want to put yourself thru that, when you are still young enough to get out of this marriage and maybe someday find a guy that will love you for you and not cheat on you, and you can truly be happy in love. You should follow your instincts because 99% of the time, they are right. It is totally understandable that you are having a hard time with this but honestly your husband does not deserve you and you deserve somebody much better them him.
2006-10-30 01:30:45 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....tough one! I have always been told...once a cheater, always a cheater. When you are married, it becomes a whole different game though. What was his reason for cheating in the first place? Has that changed? If not, yes, I say he will do it again. Sounds to me like he is pulling one over on you. My advice...flip the script....let him know you WILL NOT be with someone who is not TOTALLY and FULLY into only you. You do not deserve that. No one really does. Good Luck!
2006-10-30 01:22:45 · answer #3 · answered by ok2beme80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, once a cheater always a cheater is true. He is probably mixing stories in order to keep his friend from being upset. It sounds like he might have other stories that he is hiding.
I would say that you are better off without him. I love and adore my wife and we have been married for four years, but cheating once would be enough for me to end the relationship.
Take care,
Troy
2006-10-30 01:22:50 · answer #4 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're not getting even half the story.......you know you're husband when he's lying or telling the truth...the problem is that you want to believe him with your heart but right now you have to think logically with your head. You know exactly what it is (woman's initution) but you're still in denial.....once you get out of denial you will see what your husband is really about...then the question will be whether you want to stay with him or not...
2006-10-30 01:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by teaspoon520 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP DIGGIN FOR ANSWERS BOTTOM LINE HE WAS UNFAITHFUL!! YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW DETAILS.. ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM? IF YES WORK ON GETTING OVER IT!! IF YOU CAN AND HE STOP CHEATING AND YOU CANT FIND A REASON TO BELIEVE HE WONT DO IT AGAIN.. THEN IT MEANS YOU GUYS JUST HAD A LITTLE STORM AND NOW ITS OVER.. IF YOU HAVE A REASON TO BELIEVE HE STILL CHEATING THEN ITS TIME TO LET GO AND RELEASE YOUR SELF OF SUCH TORMENTED RELATIONSHIP.. YOU CAN'T LIVE FOR EVER DWELLING ON THE PAST!! THAT MEANS YOU ARE UNCAPABLE OF FORGIVING THIS MAN... AND THE ONLY WAY OF LIVING IN PEACE IS TO LET GO AND MAKE YOUR SELF SPACE FOR SOMETHING NEW OR SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST.. GOOD LUCK.
2006-10-30 02:01:47 · answer #6 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask then I think you need to look at the big picture. If you can't trus him then your marriage is bound for failure. If he couldn't be upfront with you about what was going on when he did then maybe you need to tell him your finished. Have you thought about counseling....if you have children then you need to try to work things out but sometimes there is no way but try all your options first.
2006-10-30 01:17:57 · answer #7 · answered by SNK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If is story keeps changing more than likely he is lying.
2006-10-30 05:36:07 · answer #8 · answered by divalicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's agood possibility it was more than one or he's just trying to minimize the damage
2006-10-30 01:38:45 · answer #9 · answered by dominicaquilino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to couples therapy as soon as possible. You cannot work this out on your own.
2006-10-30 01:17:39 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋