My best friend (a guy) +me have become closer over the summer, he's been REALLY supportive to me after the death of a close relative - I see him as my closest friend, someone I can tell anything to. I even secretly hope it could become more than a friendship...
While I was on holiday last week, he sent me a txt saying "Missin u like hell" which I thought was really nice, after seeing him today,I'm confused.While I was away - him and a friend (in his words) "Nothing happened but it nearly did". She is one of his closest friends and I've always been a little jealous of their friendship - only thing is-She's got a boyfriend (+this happened while she's going thru relationship difficulties) she can have ANY guy she wants and seems to take advantage of 'em- I don't think she's rite for him
Do I say something to my friend(tht he's REALLY hurting me)or do I leave it?And do you think that he feels as close to me as I feel to him?-cos if any of his other mates are there I get TOTALLY ignored
2006-10-30 01:10:31 · 4 answers · asked by Bella Donna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well - it sounds like you're having a hard time being honest with this guy. I know that's hard because if you are interested in more than a friendship with him - and you disclose that to him - only to find that he doesn't reciprocate - you'll probably be embaressed. But you know what? Honesty will get you more places in life than avoiding embaressment. Plus - your feelings are not something you should have to be embarressed about - they are there.
You say that he ignores you when his buddies are around. I would take a good look at what that is all about. Does he ignore the other female friend in the same way in the same situation?
How old are you? You may not think that matters - but high school boys are usually too immature to balance their male friends and their female friends and/or girlfriends.
Regarding the other girl and whether or not you should say anything. This is a tough one. IF you come out and tell him that you're interested in more than a friendship with him - you probably won't have to say a thing about this girl - as it will all be understood. If you say nothing, he'll have no reason not to continue his interest in her or any other woman, for that matter. My gut tells me that if he's talking to you about how something almost happened with this woman - that he is looking at you as a friend. If he was interested in you romantically - he probably wouldn't share that. OR - if he is interested in you - he might just tell you to see your reaction. But that would be TOTAL game playing.
Another thing I'd look at is this.... If she has a boyfriend and "Nothing happened but it nearly did" - what does that say about his respect of committed relationships? Does he just go around breaking people up - and being interested in women who are willing to cheat on their boyfriends with him? If so - I'm sure that's not the kind of guy you want.
You'll have to think about all of these things. WHY does he ignore you when his mates are around? WHAT is he thinking that he almost got involved with his female friend who has a boyfriend? If you still think he is a good person for you after answering those two questions - and you want him as more than a friend - then you will have to be brave and tell him your feelings knowing that he will either reciprocate or tell you he just doesn't feel that way about you.
My opinion is that "secretly hoping" that this will be more than a friendship is not being very honest with him. Ask yourself - do you want to play it safe and keep him as a friend and go on "secretly hoping" but doing nothing about it? OR - after doing some soul searching about what type of person he really is - do you want to take a chance and tell him the truth and be prepared for his reaction? It's up to you. Good luck!
2006-10-30 01:38:27 · answer #1 · answered by liddabet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have a friend that loves you and you are questioning whether or not this woman will come between you,,normal i would say but try to have a little more faith that he cares for you,,and respects you,,so this other woman could have him,,does he want to go with her?maybe,maybe not but by being the friend you are trying to be you will find out,,,if he is a true friend he should know you feel down and would it really kill the friendship if you told him you are feeling confused? friends are so for a reason ,,because they care and support us,because we can tell them anything but here,,it is you who are changing the rules by being insecure,,have faith in what and who you know.tell him,,,,
2006-10-30 09:18:11 · answer #2 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, I think you see him as more than a friend, and he sees you as only a friend. If he is such a wonderful frien and yadda yadda, why does he ignore you if his other friends are around?And yes, he may have been missing you, friends DO miss one another when they are not around, but maybe not in THAT way...
2006-10-30 09:35:30 · answer #3 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-10-30 09:38:34 · answer #4 · answered by Kiara 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋