does anyone have anything interesting to tell me?

Answer 1

I have loads of interesting things to tell you. Where to start? Today in the persian gulf, a small wooden dhow was mistakenly identified as a seagull, and was eaten by a passing russian ship.
Or more interestingly would be the story of Colin, who knew everyone in the world.
Colin was in trouble at work by claiming to know everyone in the world. His boss got fed up and called him in to his office.
'Colin - you have to stop this nonsense' says the boss
'But boss - its true! I do know everyone. Name someone and I'll prove it' shouts Colin
'OK, smartass - Richard Gere. Know him?'
'Richard? Old Dickie - we went to school together! Come on boss, lets go to LA and I'll introduce you' replies Colin
So off they went to LA and knocked on the gates of Geres mansion
'COLIN' shouts Richard Gere. 'Its been years! Come on in and take a beer. Talk about the school days'.
'****' thinks the boss. He does know him. 'OK, Colin - the President. Know him too?'
'George? Old George W? He came to my housewarming. Come on boss, lets go to Washington and I'll prove it' shouts Colin
So off they went to the White house, where George W Bush was walking across the lawn.
'COLIN - is that you?' screams the president 'Come on in. lets share a beer and talk about the old days'
'Bloody hell' thinks the boss, 'he really does know the president. One more chance, Colin - The Pope. Know him?'
'The Pope? He came to my wedding!' screams Colin. 'Ok Boss, lets go to Rome and I'll prove it'
So off they went to the Vatican, where the pope was giving an address to 10,000 people from the vatican balcony in St Peters square.
'He looks busy, boss' says Colin 'But if I go up there and put my arm around him and wave to you, will that prove that I know him?' asks Colin.
'Sure' says the boss
So Colin rushes towards the Vatican, pushing past the guards (Since he kows all of them too) and up to the balcony, where he puts his arm around the Pope and waves down to the crowd.
To his horror, he sees an ambulance pushing through the crowd to where he had left his boss. He immediately ran back down and forced his way back to his boss, who was lying on the ground having suffered a heart attack
'Boss, boss. What happened?' cried Colin
'Well - I saw you up on the balcony' croaked his boss 'When this guy next to me in the crowd said "Who the f==k is THAT on the balcony with Colin'...................

Interesting enough?? :-)