as some of you know me and my fiance have been hveing problems hes not giving me enough attention we never do anything anymore...some of you said tlk to him about it...well I just called him at wrk and told him before he goes to sleep tonght we hve to tlk he said were not tlking about anything and hung the phone up on me........im un haooy but I love him still...our wedding is in march 2008 but Im worried this is how my life will always be....what do I do......
2006-10-30 00:57:31 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm terribly sorry you are going through this. I have been going through something similar with my wife, I don't give up on her. I hope that she won't give up on me.
However, if he really hung up on after simply saying you need to talk (as long as you didn't yell or be mean) I say you give him an ultimatum: To take you seriously or never to see you again.
2006-10-30 01:16:44 · answer #1 · answered by luedvic 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you living together? If so it is just like you are married.
As for the hang up, remember he was at WORK. That is not the time to lay that on him. He may be resisting what may be viewed as an incessant barrage of complaints. That is a fast turn off.
When you get together next make time for this discussion. This is not a phone issue. If you called me with that line I might have hung up as well. What response were you looking for " Yes Dear?". If you are unhappy what makes you think he is as well or is not? You need to figure out the proper time and place for this. Also be aware that he may not agree with you.
Quit trying to overthink this stuff. Leave him alone at work. His day is now totally screwed up and so is yours. You will both be upset when you see each other and are already on the defensive. There was nothing to be gained by this move and now you've made it into a point of contention. This is not effective communication. This could totally be the crux of the problem.
Think about the presentation and the various results of drawing the line in the sand.
What do you do, call and leave a message that you are sorry. If he takes your call tell him you are sorry for disturbing him at work. When you see him AND have time , start the discussion with , " Some things have been bothering me lately". BE SPECIFIC. You can change behavior you cannot change personality.
2006-10-30 09:40:11 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The first t hing you need to do is hit the spell check key when you are posting question here. The second thing you need to do is reevaluate what is important for you in your life and go from there. If you are already have problems and situations, do you think they'll just go away because you get married? Don't be fooled, problems before the marriage often mean problems in the marriage. Don't be in love with the thought of marriage, be in love and in relationship with the one you're going to marry, and I hope it's not this guy.
2006-10-30 09:04:18 · answer #3 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is acting like this now it is only going to get worse. Maybe you should call off the wedding for now. It's better to wait and see what is going to happen then to get married and have to go through a messy divorce. You need to make you happy not anyone else. Good luck.
2006-10-30 10:33:23 · answer #4 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You call off the wedding.
Don't marry him hoping things will change. They won't. Unless you both go to premarital counseling and start resolving your issues, this sort of thing is just the beginning.
The worst thing you can do now is move forward with the wedding in hopes that things will change. There's no shame in changing your mind. Its worse to move forward when you know you have doubts.
2006-10-30 09:50:19 · answer #5 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hanging uop the telephone on you is a very bad sign. It appears that this is beyond the point of talking. Although...I would have waited to even spring this on him when he came home from work, not while he was at work.
However...I think the cards are on the table. I suspect you'd be wise to end your relationship and pending marrige. It will not improve with a marriage certificate.
2006-10-30 09:10:38 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me I know the answer to this one girl friend!!!! After being married 16 years I can tell you for sure if it's not great and I do mean great in the beginning it will only get worse in time. Don't waste another second of your time on this guy! You only live once...don't you think you deserve the best!
2006-10-30 09:19:36 · answer #7 · answered by Jane Smith 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"We're not talking about anything" is a terrible thing to say. The best solution was to talk, and he just nixed that. By refusing to talk, he has proven that he is not interested in doing the kind of work it will take to make a strong marriage. It is time to give him back the engagement ring and say good-bye to this relationship.
2006-10-30 09:02:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Call off the wedding.
2. See #1.
2006-10-30 09:09:22 · answer #9 · answered by Steven S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What more do you need??? He just hung up on you! There has to be more going on here than what we are being told, but if you want to subject yourself to this kind of treatment for the rest of your life, you don't care about yourself enough. Get out while he is making it easy for you!!!!!
2006-10-30 09:00:43 · answer #10 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋