I'm 23 and he is 26. Before 2 years my husband's father died, and ever since my mother-in-law is volnerable. But sometime she really knows how to cross the limit. For example, if both of us (my husband and I ) aren't home, she feels like her son left her alone and starts crying and says "he'll see for this and weeps which annoys me so much .because of stuff like this , he feels so much for her and we often fight. Please help me or give me some advise how to stop this, because we live together only 2 months and I am freaking.She is not a bad woman, but i dpn't like that kind of behavior.he is my husband now,and i decide whether he comes home late or not, don't you agree?
2006-10-30 00:33:38 · 11 answers · asked by bilezlatko 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You will be a mother someday and it hurts to let go of your son. Your mother-in-law is just lonely because all the people she loves is slowly slipping away from her. You are your husband's number 1 because you are his wife but you also have to understand him because his mother also needs him for emotional and mental support. I would encourage you to be more compassionate towards your mother-in-law. Sometimes, it would be good if you surprise your husband to go out in a picnic including your mother. Your husband and you have so many many years to enjoy your life together. But he has only a few years left to enjoy for his mother. Be there for your husband. I assure you he will love you even more because you showed compassion.
2006-10-30 00:47:13 · answer #1 · answered by mbm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see how you would be frustrated with this...especially being newlyweds! You want & need this time to connect with your husband. It's too bad that your mother in law does not have the emotional maturity to 1. recognize this & grant it to you & 2. to deal with herself.
This is part of life never quite being perfect. The reality is is that she is hurting. If she wasn't very outgoing and gave all of her emotional energy to her husband & family, it makes sense that she would be feeling this way. I don't know her or what her background is, or how many friends she has, but if I were you, I would try to find out what her interests are and try to convince her to join a club, or start volunteering somewhere. She needs to learn to connect to other people now.
Regarding your husband coming home late...that's kind of a balance. I don't demand that from my husband because I want him to want to come home. If I get demanding about it, it's just going to be human nature for him to want to resist it. If you don't demand it all the time, then when you really need him, you have the leverage to say "honey I really need you here tonight" and it will hopefully mean something to him then.
2006-10-30 00:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly, he is grown man, he is the one that decides if he comes home late or not!! don't forget that. it is very improtant to a mariage to let him have his space as well as you keep your own space, as far as his mother goes do you try to do anything with her because she might be cryin to you for some attention from you!?! hopefully you can understand the void in this womens life after losing her husband, and she is just tryin to hold on to her son as long as she can. Most of time the attitude and behavior will pass, but you have to do all you can to help the situation also.
2006-10-30 00:50:35 · answer #3 · answered by damchiefs63 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you better put your foot down, or she will walk all over you and your husband. You need to communicate with your husband about this rather than fight about it have a rational, calm, intelligent conversation about this situation.
2006-10-30 00:44:02 · answer #4 · answered by Bryce I 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to see a counselor. Since the death of her husband, she is clinging to her son. If he wants your relationship to work, he needs to tell her to get help. And find her some friends to visit...maybe a local card playing group?
2006-10-30 00:43:52 · answer #5 · answered by Heather 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hiii
dear i can understand how u feel coz m in the same **** its really irritating.............but pls accept it, this problem is permanent one n 1 advise i can give wat my mum gives me...........dont fite with ur hubby for this problem even i use to fite for this but now i have stopped if u keep on fighting for it 1 day he'll blast u take my words n try to manage thngs god will hlp u u atleast have only mum-in-law but i have sis-in-law with her who's is married but still stay's at her mum's place so try to have patience n as u don't have father-in-law ur hubby is not goin to leave her alone n u have to stay with her so adjust i can very well understand ur problem take care all the best
2006-10-30 00:50:22 · answer #6 · answered by arshi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you may desire to thoroughly ward off your better half's mom.She should not be allowed to circulate on your place.Neither do you ought to circulate to her.while there are family gatherings which she would be able to attend,supply excuses to ward off going to the gatherings.case in point,you are able to say "My youngsters are sick" or "we are going for a church function" or in spite of sturdy excuse you are able to arise with.as quickly as your better half's mom is out of the photograph,your son will forget approximately approximately her and supply up swearing.that is by way of fact he's acquainted with that swearing is linked along with his grandma.i be attentive to that from my psychology type on associative studying.If there are different infants at living house,they might additionally end swearing in a similar way your 4-12 months-previous will,in the event that they are swearing now. P.S.it may appear as if an eternity in the previous your 4-12 months-previous quits swearing on his very own.yet be business enterprise and clarify to him why swearing is undesirable and that he has to offer up doing it.that is by way of fact he would not yet be attentive to that.in case you only forget approximately approximately his swearing,you only isn't assisting him to alter for the greater advantageous.
2016-10-16 13:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone handles death differently I know it's tuff for you right now! show a little empathy and learn tolerance your husband will certainly appreciate it
2006-10-30 00:52:02 · answer #8 · answered by mmmkay_us 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop Wishing that will never happen! You Married A mommas Boy!
2006-10-30 00:41:27 · answer #9 · answered by mom2one 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your husband has to put her in her place what ever you say to her will be wrong some woman can't let go of their kids.
2006-10-30 00:42:14 · answer #10 · answered by christina c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋