Eveything Ive read says that a newborn only cries for a reason, my 8wk old cries alot I have had her seen by professionals and followed all the advice colic,etc.
But she continues to cry and I cant put her down in the daytime hardly at all. Should I be letting her cry for longer? currently I allow her to cry whilst Im busy but she seems unable to settle herself even when left for longer periods.
Any suggestions/ideas?
2006-10-29 23:06:17 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Just for the record when i refer to "letting her cry when Im busy" this is me attending to my 2 yr old, making bottles and other essentials I dont have to clean my house unless somebody is holding my baby.
2006-11-01 10:06:29 · update #1
Please don't listen to anyone that says babies can be spoiled at this age!!!!! Anyone who reads anything on child psychology or brain development will agree that infants don't make a connection with crying and having things done for them until they are around 6 mths old. All they know is that they are uncomfortable in some way and cry because of this.
My son had acid reflux when he was born and would cry uncontrollably for lengthy periods of time. We took him to a pediatrician who helped us work through the tough times. He is now 7 mths old and doing great.
Most young babies cry a lot. Making sure all her needs are met and having her cared for by professionals is about all you can do at this point. I used to wear my son in a snugli and take him for a lot of walks (which I still do, it immediately makes him happy!)
I know it probably seems like the crying spells will never end, but they will and you will get better at interpreting what each cry means. I put my son on a schedule which I okayed with my doctor. You can try the www.babywhisperer.com website (based on the books by Tracy Hogg the baby whisperer) which really helped me though a lot when I thought I was losing my mind and was running on only a few hours sleep a night if that!. It offers a lot of helpful tips and you can ask other mothers and experienced people who moderate the site for advice. I think the site is currently down for repairs but should be back up soon, at least that is what they are promising!
Good luck to you and remember it will get better with time! If my husband and I got through by ourselves you can too!
2006-10-30 03:34:13 · answer #1 · answered by Sexy_Bunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't believe you can spoil an 8 week old baby. She is crying for a reason. I would take her back to the GP and ask for her to be looked at again. Maybe she has reflux, there is a silent type that just involves acid coming back up from the stomach so they aren't sick all the time.
Perhaps try not to be so busy? I know that's difficult, I hate my house being untidy and not being about to give my son as much attention as he used to get, but babies are babies for such a short time. They need us to be their everything and I don't think its too much for them to ask.
The more you let her cry without attending to her, the more she will cry. Only when you are meeting her needs will she start to be more comfortable. Maybe she's dressed up a little bit too much in a hot house or not enough in a cold one. Maybe she's a bit sensitive to her nappy being wet. Maybe she's not being fed as much as she needs - are you reading her hunger cues correctly? Maybe she's getting overtired coz you aren't realising when she needs to be helped off to sleep.
I remember when my daughter was born I thought it would be easy because I'd been through it all with my son. But boy is she so different. You just have to go with the flow and relax about it if you can. Wearing her in a sling is an excellent idea. Sometimes I put my pram in the kitchen so she is right next to me when I do the things I absolutely have to do.
2006-11-01 10:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by LJayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children can be spoiled as early as 1 week! I know, my 1st daughter is now 2, she was awful, she was the first granddaughter so was constantly being held & my god didn't she get to love that! Yes, they love cuddles & sometimes when they are crying they just want a cuddle but when my twins arrived I tried not to make the same mistake, they are 10 months old & ever since they were born they have gone down to sleep in their cot, never rocked to sleep, they don't like it, they think it's a game! The trick is to think what else may be making her cry before you pick her up! Smell her bum whilst she's still laying down, if it's not that give her a dummy if she has one, if all else fails pick her up. Children aren't stupid, even at that age, if you run to her every time she makes a noise she will learn that is how she gets picked up. In your case though it sounds much more extreme, talk to your health visitor, she'll be able to tell you if you should be leaving her to cry for longer!
2006-11-01 10:10:30 · answer #3 · answered by C Greene 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You CANNOT spoil a baby at this age. Newborns need LOTS of love and attention. They depend on you for everything! Sorry but there is nothing you can really do at this age, and no you should not let the baby "cry it out" until they are at least 6 months old.
2006-10-30 10:34:52 · answer #4 · answered by tigger497 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! A newborn cannot be spoiled by getting picked up for crying, it is their only means of communication. Think about it this way, She was with you day and night for 9 months in a safe, warm and cozy environment...now she is out and alone unless she is being held. She needs the comfort right now, enjoy it while you can because in 10 months she will be little miss independent and running around everywhere. You can try the swing, swaddling her or a vibrating bouncy seat for brief periods and that may temporarily soothe her...or get a front carrier and carry her, this way your will have free hands. Also, have you tried gas drops? Maybe she has a tummy ache.
2006-10-30 07:07:42 · answer #5 · answered by **KELLEY** 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Every child is different. Our first child cried constantly for the first 6 weeks. Doctors didn't diagnose relative lactose intolerance until then. Essentially our baby was crying in pain as the acid burnt her stomach, colon and bottom. We felt very bad. Once we knew what it was, we dealt with it and the crying stopped.
Babies cry. Some cry more then others. You need to find a way to cope. You don't have to do it on your own. Ask for help. See your community support nurse or ask family to help.
Be strong and stick with it. Every baby is different and responds to different things. Your baby just wants to be close to you. Try a sling or similar to keep the baby with you and free up your hands to do other things.
2006-10-30 07:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by CPT Kremin 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You cannot spoil a baby/child with love, it makes them feel secure and protected in the face of a difficult world and whilst learning.
She has been used to being with you 24/7 for the last 9 months and some babies take longer to adapt. Have you tried a baby sling/carrier so you can still do stuff but she is with you?
Its night time that you will need to teach her to settle herself. The best way to do this is let them learn by showing that night time is different, no talking, dimmed lights if needed on, feed then back to bed not cuddles till she falls asleep. This will make it apparent that nights are different.
Dont worry it takes time and all babies respond differently.
2006-10-30 07:14:01 · answer #7 · answered by mjastbury 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
i think that you definately can spoil a baby, yes they do need lots of love and attention as they depend on you for everything, but believe me they can also make your life very difficult, as even though we all love our children to bits, every day life and chores have to be done. as long as you are sure that the baby is safe, dry, not hungry, no wind etc. then it does not hurt them to cry for a little while. maybe try singing as you go about this way she can still hear you maybe she will settle better.
2006-10-30 15:50:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the person who suggested a vibrating baby bouncer!
My son was like that, I couldn't get him settled without the use of a dummy, so I bought a bouncer and he loves it - he falls asleep almost instantly.
Try taking her out for a walk in the pram too, the gentle motion might help settle her.
2006-10-30 09:53:24 · answer #9 · answered by Cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the reason she is crying is because she wants to be near you. An 8 wk old baby can not settle themself and you can't spoil her. When she is about 12 16 weeks, she will settle down and want you to carry her less. Have you tried a vibrating baby bouncer, they are brilliant! Or a baby swing?
2006-10-30 07:44:09 · answer #10 · answered by sarah a 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋