i am married but i love someone elder than me do u think it is cheating?

Question

i am married 9 years ago but now i feel in love for another woman we never met but are in touch regularly. we love each other and she is older than me but still single. she knows that i am married but never wants to miss me out from her life. the funny thing is we have never met each other. how would you evaluate this relationship

Answer 1

The straight answer to your question is Yes, my friend it is Cheating.
The more zigzag answer would be that few years down the marriage for some strange reasons people have the tendency to look out for better relationship. In most of the cases it is perceived that relationship without responsibility would prove better. But, my friend can a relationship last without the resposibility and an element of honesty in it. I doubt that without these ingredients even your extra-marital relationship would sustain.
For the sake of not just your wife and your marriage, but for the sake of your other family members and the other lady in question - move out of this developing strange relationship, which might give you momentary pleasures now but would bring along countless sorrows lateron.

I know you would be disliking my answer - but the truth still remains the same and that is - Yes, My Friend You are Cheating

Answer 2

Hi. good question. I think you already know the answer but since you asked for an evaluation, here's mine.
I've heard of some people being thunder stuck. they look at someone and bam. they are hopelessly, helplessly in love. what an incredible thing. I'm not sure it happens that often though.

I thiink for many of us, being in love is a gradual thing. you notice someone. have a pleasant, or for that matter, an unpleasant encounter and you start thinking about that person.

you have more encounters and they are rewarding. little by little, like a dighy, tied loosly at the dock, the rope comes loose and the tide slowly works the boat away from its home and out to sea.

emotionally, we become attached to people so quickly. maybe because we all want to feel needed and wanted and apprecited?
sometimes its wonderful. if some one pays attention to me I instantly like them more.

Now comes the rub. I made a promise to my bride. forsaking all others, I keep myself for her. that means in all ways. especially, emotionally. keeping your promise, and having self control is like keeping a strong wall around your marriage.

sometimes, we open the gates and let in those who we shouldn't. without self control, wer'e like a city without walls.
anyone can come in and take control of our emotions. then our lives, and like a dingy adrift, we wake up and think, how the heck did I end up way out here.

You made a promise. there was something in that girl you once committed to . if you spend the energy you're giving to the older woman to refind the first love, you may find a better, deeper committment than you've ever had.

or, you can continue drifting.

best,

frankie c.

Answer 3

Yes it is. Cheating is not only you meet someone else your mate, but also think about someone else... because thinking is the first step for other coming steps of cheating.
Well my friend I ask you to put your self in your wife site. Would you feel ok if you know that your wife is in love with another guy? whether she met him or not....
Whatever.... everything starts as an idea...
Love starts as an idea...Hate too.. and cheating is the same...
Another brainstorming for you.... Would you tell your wife about your feelings of the other woman? If not... then be sure you are doing something wrong.

Answer 4

It's easy to fantasize that some woman you've never met is your perfect soulmate.

The real question is: why are you expending time on this stranger instead of putting it into your marriage? You're taking the easy fantasy instead of dealing with what's real. Yes, this is cheating. If you coudn't say the things you say to this person with your wife sitting next to you, it's because you know it's wrong.

Deal with your marriage first. Fix it or end it.

Answer 5

How can you or she decide that one can not live without another. Telephone friendship can still be accepted, if you are not married. But now, what youa re doing is not correct. Move away from that elderly woman, unless of course you and she both agree to have a realationship of a brother and sister.

Answer 6

Hai Vimal,sorry to say this but if u try to make love with another women, u r cheating to your wife,if she thinks the same way u r thinking.U won`t tolerate n through her out of the house.What you have made in 9 years realtion with your wife.My friend don`t lose that precious movement of your life in 9sec`s.Because the other one will just have fun.So be careful n think twice.

Answer 7

Well if u r married now, stick to your wife. Does your wife love you?? Do you have kids???

this new womenf - didyou ever speak to her? Or is it internet love - where the person on the other end can be a man.

No jokes - are you physchologically depressed or do you feel you are missing somnething very important our of your life.

Answer 8

I WOULD TELL YOU TO BE CAREFUL,WHEN YOU FALL FOR SOMEONE WHO YOU HAVENT MET..THINGS COULD GET TRICKY.. THE ONLY THINGS YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS WOMAN IS THE THINGS SHE HAS TOLD YOU.. HOW ABOUT THE THINGS YOU ARE YET TO KNOW??? I KNOW THAT AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR A WHILE THINGS FALL OUT OF PLACES SOMETIMES AND SOMETHING LIKE THIS COULD BE VERY WELL BE JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS IN LIFE THAT MAY SOUND GOOD AT THE TIME BUT ONCE THE MISTERY IS GONE AND THE MAGIC OF CURIOSITY DIMINISHED.. THEN WHAT IS LEFT IS JUST THIS OOOPSS I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS TWICE... YOU SHOULD TALK TO YOUR WIFE AND YOU GUYS SHOULD GO TO COUNSELING.. AND IF THERE IS NOTHING LEFT WITH YOUR WIFE YOU STILL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THIS OLDER MISTERY GIRL... TO ME IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE MESMERIZE BY ALL THIS TOUCH OF MAGIC... THINK ABOUT IT TWICE.. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 9

Why tell us you are married and having thoughts of cheating?

Treasure what you have in life and remember everything looks greener elsewhere but never in your own backyard. Is that really true with you, that your wife is no longer attractive compared to someone you hardly know?

Don't upset your wife.

Answer 10

how can you be in love with someone you haven't met? she might be as ugly as all get out . wake up to yourself .as you've been married 9 years you should have more sense and more respect for your long suffering wife