Boyfriend and I have 3 years together. Dated 1st 2 years no problems. Moved in together and after 8 mos. are currently in seperate households and struggling to rebuild our relationship and stayed commited to each other. Okay here's the deal a lot of damage has been done by both of us only I am the only one taking responsiblity for my part in our troubled relationship. He thinks he has done nothing wrong and everything is my fault, so not true. Since I moved out a few months ago he is distant, insensitive, and very detached. I suggest we talk to figure out if we are waisting time and he avoids addressing his thoughts and feelings with me nor does he want to hear mine. He says he loves me and wants to work things out but his actions say otherwise. Our sex life has always been amazing, that is a thing of the past. He makes excuses not to spend time with me, calls me maybe 1/4 of what he used. He used to appreciate my taking care of his household now he expects it.
2006-10-29 21:53:22 · 12 answers · asked by Missy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I bend over backwards because I love this man and he used to love me, but they way he treats me so insignificant and disregards my feelings leads me to think he is using me until something else comes along. He is a player only denies it, he was seeing 3 other woman the same time as me when we first got together and continued doing so for the first year. I just found out and he says I dwell on the past and we weren't committed at the time. LOSER. Anyway for some unknown reason I can let go of this jerk and I feel used and taken for granted. I finally told him my feelings and he made me leave his home, changed the locks and said he needed space. Its always on his terms, I am always wrong and he is always right. What is my problem?
2006-10-29 21:58:54 · update #1
I have asked him what he wants and needs from me to progress forward and he avoids giving me an answer or discussing anything in this regard. When I tell him my feelings then he gets mad and says "what about my feelings" He cannot take responsibility for any problems or issues in our relationship, and boy does he have issues. Instead he puts me down, everything is my fault and poor poor him. Everyone thinks he is a great guy because he is good at letting people see only what he wants and not what is really real.
2006-10-29 22:05:19 · update #2
Oh honey... Girl get the hell out of that relationship.. do me a favor sweety and sit and read what you wrote for others to read... The sad thing is that all the wrong this man is doing to you all the pain and discomfort is nothing compare to what you are doing to your self.. because who is making you be in this relationship?? for certain not him.. is you girl..you need to find your self and love your self before you expect someone else to love you.. this man is an asssshole and you know it.. the reason why you feel used is because tah dahhhhhhhh he is using you if you feel diminished and sad is because your heart is telling you Im hurting because there is no love here.. GOOD SEX!! nothing a good vibrator could not replace.. Find someone who will love you respect you as you would respect your self.. This man is taking you so low that you are confused thinking that might be a solution for your struggling relationship.. and there is Get the hell out of it.. he aint worth all this misery.. space he wants space well give him his space all the space he needs by vanishing from his life... look way beyond what you have the world is huge.. Im sure you can find something else,someone outthere is just right for you..but you wont find him..as long as you hang on to that looser...just let him go.. I'll give you my favorite advice this one I have given to many here... Dump him before he dumpes you.. nobody likes to be the dumpee it will make you feel better.. It will give you a sense of control and it will help you accept the break-up faster and with less pain.. Let someone else take that little package as you know who ever gets him after you.. is not getting much as a matter of fact she will not get nothing at all.. besides a bad complex...The only one who can release you from your pain is you... good luck.
2006-10-30 01:32:50 · answer #1 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is hard, but you already know he's using you.
Don't waste any more of your life trying to appease him. Better now after 3 years, than 20 years down the line with kids to take care of.
He'll probably want you back when the next girl doesn't work out. Hopefully you won't run back then. He doesn't respect you, and trying to make everything perfect for him will only increase his comtempt. Move on, find someone who actually cares about you as much as himself.
2006-10-29 23:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by I saw whatudid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, your a again up plan, somthing he can fall again to if matters arent figuring out with anyone else. hes preserving you in manage. men have a humorous manner of turning and twisting the reality to make it appear like its your entire fault, I understand becuase I have performed this. Its quite nice so that you can simply permit him pass, You must transfer on, dont name him, dont reply his cell calls, becuase he'll name ultimately, while he thinks that your over him, after which he'll simply regain manage of you once more, Ive performed that still... theres tons of men in the market, pass uncover you a brand new one, in view that he best desires you for something... I dont desire to sound like a jerk.. I am truthfully fortunately in love now and that i dont do this stuff anymore, however i used to be simply letting you understand in view that i did precisely what he's doing to you to a different as soon as.. MOVE ON!!!!! well good fortune...
2016-09-01 04:38:11 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you to need time apart for awhile. Maybe different paths to follow.
Take a breather, true love will be there for both of you if it's meant to be. Take an inventory of your problems and instead of looking to blame one another, look at yourself.
2006-10-29 21:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Missy, I'm afraid your intuition is right (it normally is!).
Instead of appreciating your efforts and countering with effort on his end, he's only calling when he wants to teabag your or induce a cleveland steamer. This guy sounds like a real pig, if you want my opinion. Move on...
2006-10-29 21:58:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he has had enough harsh i no but its true one way to find out what he wants is this stop calling him stop running around after him let him realize what he had with u now this can turn either way hopefully he will come running back to u but it could make him realize he don't want to be with u but at least u will no either way good luck
2006-10-29 22:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the sparks gone..... stop chasing him...let him chase you if he loves you he will,stop waiting around for him,go live life,stop doing the chores,let him do it,when he wants to talk tell him to wait as ur busy with something,put him thru what uve been thru,if this relationship is to work hes got to make the effort instead of you doing it all so make him
2006-10-29 22:01:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man is clearly using you and you know it. The question you have to ask yourself is if you will put up with it anymore. Don't you think that you deserve more?
2006-10-29 22:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by Eileen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is using you. If he really loves you, he will want to get things right again. Take care.
2006-10-29 21:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by teddytrin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a spoiled brat to me. wanting all his own way. he's immature to say the least. move on and get a real man
2006-10-29 21:59:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋