My husband says that marriage is one dimensional and is like going to the gym everyday and always using the same machine, therefore you can only develop certain parts of your body. He also compared the problems in our marriage to loving your father but everytime he comes home he smacks you so over a period of time you get to hate him. Funny because I thought I was the one being treated badly by him. He criticised everything I did. He has moved out because I caught him cheating but says he did it because he couldn't get things the way he wanted at home which included having complete control of the finances (my earnings too) and making all the decisions without being questioned, plus having meals on the table on time and keeping the house spotless. But he comes back to the house every weekend and when I suggest we should have complete time apart he doesn't listen. What does he want? I told him I just want my half of the house no more so why not live his life and sell the house?
2006-10-29 21:06:51 · 33 answers · asked by Nancy S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's a serious control freak, I was in exactly the same position. They are very clever people, put all the blame on you and they are so good, you even starting believing that its you.
You need to make a clean break from him, be thankful that he left you!
2006-10-29 21:14:52 · answer #1 · answered by Mizz Julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you feel better after he left, I don't know what feelings you have for him but you must have been under a lot of pressure. Breaking up is never easy, no matter how bad the relationship was and from what you say, you are lucky that he left.
My guess is that he is trying to prove that he's still in charge/control of everything. Could you file for a divorce on the grounds that he left you, had an affair and beat you up? Maybe you could have some papers ready for him to sign next time he comes over.
Good luck to you, I hope it all works out.
2006-10-29 21:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by IC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you putting up with it, in this day and age you have so much you can do. This is domestic violence, you don't have to be hit for it to be domestic violence, he is a control freak, he is mentally abusing you. You don't say you have children, if this is the case, get out now. Seek advice from a solicitor or citizens advice about the house and where you stand. What right has he to use you the way he is. I hope that one day he'll meet his match, I think he is too thick to have a motive he's just a bastard who thinks only of himself. He certainly does not deserve you, and YOU do NOT deserve him. Good luck honey. x
2006-10-29 21:15:27 · answer #3 · answered by chutney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change the locks and sell the house - also suggest that he sees a psychiatrist! Also, if you caught him cheating, then perhaps he might be entitled to rather less than half the house? He doesnt have automatic rights to stay in the house i fit's yours, but would have to apply through the courts if he wanted to stay, which takes time, so you can effectively throw him out quite easily, and any problems, telephone the police.
2006-10-29 21:41:18 · answer #4 · answered by ticket2ride 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds abusive and controlling.
He obviously does not love you or appreciate you.
Since he speaks this way, acts this way, and is cheating, he is not worth keeping around.
YOU can sell the house.
Get a lawyer and start fighting for as much that you can get from this as you can, otherwise he'll do this to you.
He is totally got you under control right now and is using you. The guys has MAJOR issues and is NOT worth keeping around.
Pretend your best girl friend is telling you this about her husband. What would be your advice to her?
2006-10-29 21:59:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man is a 'control freak' make plans for the weekend and don't be there, he has such a chauvinistic view of how marriage should be, marriage is definitely NOT one dimensional it is two people prepared to work at a compromise to live as much in harmony as they can. Good luck
2006-10-29 21:14:51 · answer #6 · answered by shortstuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a control freak with huge psychological problems - that's why he's trying to blame you for everything. Do not play into his hands, be strong and see a lawyer with regard to putting your house on the market, I don't think he can refuse to sell. Once he has left the house, even though he owns half he is not allowed entry. ( applies in UK ).
I hope you can get your life back on track and try to forget this awful episode in your life. I do hope there are no children involved.
2006-10-30 19:31:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
AHHHH...nothing like a complete control freak to make your morning bright and cheerful. You need to get a restraining order. Get a lawyer and get out of the relationship that you are in. Personally the thought of someone who is supposed to be a partner in a relationship become the commander doesn't make for a healthy relationship. Good luck to you and remember you have your own choices to make. Those choices make up you and how you expect your life to go.
2006-10-29 21:39:32 · answer #8 · answered by mshellrosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, are you living his life or your own. You can't have a relationship and should not want to to that matter if you do not (or can't being forced) have a choice to make agreements/disagreements. He has cheated on you, he can't really love you or he would never of done this. He seems like he just wants to control you, like having an accessory when he needs it. That's not right at all. You should get him out of your life nobody should ever be treated like this.
2006-10-29 21:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by phobzy85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For God's sake, get a lawyer. Get a divorce and make him sell the house or else buy out your half. Don't give in to his demands, he sounds like he wants to control every aspect of your life. If you want a complete break, then do it. He sounds like he wants you only when it suits him and totally on his terms.
2006-10-29 21:12:11 · answer #10 · answered by F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋