I am a healthy, 27 yr old man, she's a very fit 38yr old woman. Been married for just over a year now. We had a bad spellthat caused us to seperate briefly for a few weeks. Five months ago,we got back together but haven't had sex since.
I lost my job shortly before the seperation, moved into a new house, and she left - all within 30 days! At first I thought my lack of interest was because of all this stress, Its now 5 months later...still no spark, still no urge...
Whats wrong with me? I find other woman stimulating, just not my wife!?? I do love her, but she's as sexually attractive to me as a doorknob....
2006-10-29 21:00:08 · 21 answers · asked by BecauseIcan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Subconciously you aren't able to let go of feelings of animosity and betrayl of your wife leaving you. It is hindering your ability to have intimate relations with your wife. You need to go and see a therapist to help you in regaining the trust with your wife that you lost. Until then you will have issues with the intimacy that you have with her. Good luck to you.
2006-10-29 21:41:59 · answer #1 · answered by mshellrosie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, body wise you say she is very fit. These other woman that turn you on how do they compare to your wife? In body, looks etc. physically? If they are similar, then your problem is emotional. Something happened when that split happened that made you feel differently about your wife that you haven't dealt with yet. My only suggestion is try to find a good counselor for you both. GL
2006-10-29 21:05:55 · answer #2 · answered by whitebeanner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jees u have been under some stress which is prob why the appeal has gone! maybe have a word with her and explain how u r feeling i bet u've prob got into a routine where neither of u make an effort any more I have one night a mnth where we both have to get sorta dressed up not be in us pj's at 6pm and make it an us evening it works well and we look forward to it
2006-10-29 21:07:39 · answer #3 · answered by kj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then, why are you two still together?
You both should have some professional counceling.
I sense that you are immature, in the reactions and decision making areas. You seem to stress her out. Now, she is trying to see if you can 'get it together', right?
If your life is governed by 'urges' instead of genuine depth of commitment then you are doomed to fail in more than just marriage.
2006-10-29 21:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the separation hurt you emotionally more than you think. You two need to talk about this, and possibly see a therapist. Doesn't she wonder why you won't have sex with her? If you two can't resolve this satisfactorily, then you should move on before you waste any more time.
2006-10-29 21:07:52 · answer #5 · answered by F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your eyes are seeing the person that cause you some pain, and not the women that you love.
You need to seek the pros on this one.
Or just move on be for it get worst.
It seems, that you in a no win situation, sooner or later, that door knob will need some one to take care it.
2006-10-29 22:01:40 · answer #6 · answered by meatball288001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she denighd you on a small truble and your mind severed your romantic and horny interest becouse of it.
in order to fix it ... say Sorry later then make dinner after and cuddle this shoud fix some of your severence.
dont be fool into thinking you dont love for reasons..
Give real love to those you truely love ..
But beware inside you flow from the giving you recieve..
Some love from the source..
For Some particularly fay folks need to be worn like a mask
the attension you recieve is your wormth thus love true becouse..
only real love pays you the abbility to light love in others
2006-10-29 23:09:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you plan a vacation, just the two of you it doesnt have to be a grand vacation...no topics about work, or anything that may ruin the mood. surprise her during the first night by bringing her to a romantic place where it will just be the two of you...(stargazing at the beach) ...maybe things will pick up from there...
2006-10-29 21:15:44 · answer #8 · answered by z0e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her for a romantic weekend away, buy her some sexy underwear and drink champagne. If your feeling this way about her she is probally feeling the same about you if you haven't had sex since getting back together.
2006-10-29 21:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married 15 years,you cant lose the spark so soon.You probably are not as happy with her as you could be with someone else.To me kids count in divorce,if you have them stick together,work it out.If you have none,you are free to roam.
2006-10-29 21:12:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋