Are they holding him too much?

Question

My best friend's 6-month-old baby gets held ALL the time. If you put him down he is okay for a while but then starts to cry, so they pick him back up. I am worried that they might be hindering his development by doing this. According to the charts that I have seen he should, at his age, be able to roll all the way over and sit up by himself or with little help, but he can't. I tried to tell her that maybe she holds him too much but she didn’t believe me. What should I do? Am I stepping out of line?

Answer 1

see my son was held a lot i got told that i was holding him to much but i found out that i did it too much cuz now all he wants is to be held but he is slowly geting better i would tell them to let him down let him cry only for a bit not to much cuz when he gets older they will regrate it.

Answer 2

It is important to state your concerns to your friend in a non-judgemental way. By doing so, you are telling your friend that you are concerned and you care. However, your friend has the option and the right to parent as she sees fit.

Some babies are needier than others and need to be held more. In many countries, babies are held all day up until they are two years of age. These babies do not have problems with walking, or learning or any of the other develpmental milestones.

I carried my son for a good 6 months in a sling whenever he became fussy. He had fussy periods where I would just carry him around for a few hours. My son is now 10 months and he is walking and getting into everything. There are still times when I hold him and carry him and believe me his development is perfectly normal!!

Answer 3

It's great that you're concerned, If you gathered some information first, just a chart about what the baby should be doing at that age such as talking and developmental activites, & casually ask if they've spoke to the dr about it since he should've had a 6month visit if he hasn't then suggest she bring it up then. There is a calculator on babycenter.com where you can type what the baby is doing and age and weight and what not and they'll tell you what they should & shouldn't be doing and it'll show if somethings they are advanced in.. I can't seem to find it at the moment though... You can go there and search the page though.. something along the lines of a baby developmental calculator. Hope everything turns out ok

Answer 4

As far as stepping out of line goes, that would depend on how your friend sees your statements. You might try to explain that you say it because you care and want to see this baby excel in development.
Now, as for the question of holding him too much, absolutely! I have seen more than one parent make this mistake. First, he should be rolling fully and should be able to sit up with a little back support. He should also be scooting a little bit and stretching to grab what he wants. He needs to be on the floor to do all of this.
My son's girlfriend is the latest in making this mistake. She has since (in the last 2 months) begun to giver her daughter more toys to play with and allow her to cry a little. Her daughter went from a 10 month old who could not sit up and would only rock on her belly to a baby who will be a year old in 2 weeks and now sits up without support, scoots all over and is learning to crawl and tries to pull herself up to furniture. In short, she is catching up fast.
Bottom line, show you care, but don't push it or you may offend your friend.

Answer 5

My baby was five months when she was rolling and sitting up. You really need to get them to see what they are doing is bad for this baby's development. Baby's need time on the floor to play, discover things and build strength. Baby's are also required to have supervised time on the tummies to help their brain and muscles develop. You are not out of line to say anything as this baby may have other problems with development. You should tell your friend to take your baby to the doctor to have a development check. The earlier things are diagnosed the easy it can be to fix the problem.

Answer 6

It does sound like they are holding him too much. Not only will it hinder his development physically but also mentally and emotionally. He will get accustomed to being held all of the time and possibly have separation anxiety issues when he is older. He needs to know that he is his own person. It is hard to say what to do, because he is her child and she is going to do what she feels is best. All you really can do is just be there for her and support her. Eventually she will say, hey maybe you were right...

Answer 7

A SIX MONTHS OLD BABY SHOULD BE ABLE TO ROLL,CREEP,SIT UP BY THEM SELVES AND ABLE TO STAND HOLDING on TO SOMETHING they need to stop holding the baby in their hand they need to put the baby down the are cramping the growth of the BaBy

Answer 8

The advic you have given her isa good one but since she wants to be stubborn let her stay because there will a time that she will be tired of the small boy . he can even make one year without walking she will she her friends children who are age mate sto the son and she will be ashame.you are not stepping ou tof line you are just trying to help a situation.

Answer 9

No holding a baby to much could be bad because the spin can"t get strong buy holding a baby you have to let the baby move buy himself, also he could get use to holding on to them for life.

Answer 10

you know, you are probably right to be concerned. But, having said that.. I find that most my mothery girlfriends hate it when I try to tell them something that goes against the way they raise their babies.. Im seen as a know it all.. They hate critism. So I just learned to grin and bear it as long as their pediatrition is in the know and doesnt care, why should I..