Hi people,it's me, a south asian boy of 18.This is a poem of mine...Please read it..'n' tell me how is it to read?If here you get some grammatical mistakes,just let me know...please!one thing is important...My language isn't English.So this poem ough to be the poor one...lol.here it starts...
Girl, Let me hold your hands,
let me close my eyes;
let's fly,plucking the wings
from the butterflies.
Can't you hear the voice of rain?
Or,the hum of cloud?
Or,the song of gentle wind...
who,for you,sings aloud!
Though,you try to hide...
you should be by my side,
you should be twinkling...
like a crowd of mountain-pride.
Now it's time to say ;
What I say is (heavenly) true,
"I've been breathing for you,
Tell me, you've been.too!"
..................thank you very much.
2006-10-29 19:44:02 · 11 answers · asked by insidethebluehorse 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Better than I could do.. I might add an 's' on the end of cloud though.
2006-10-29 19:51:12 · answer #1 · answered by sg1alias 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*thunderous applause* Beautiful! Marvelous! So deep! You should be a poet!
2006-10-30 03:46:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its very nice. sincere, straight foword and kinda romantic.... keep writting and read more books specially the one with lyrical or flowerly words....
2006-10-30 03:57:00 · answer #3 · answered by pheobe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it
2006-10-30 03:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by steffi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad, not bad at all. You're a good poet.
2006-10-30 04:33:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey thats not bad at all.
2006-10-30 03:46:48 · answer #6 · answered by E.B. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright ... that was quite cool.
Thanks for sharing ; - )
2006-10-30 04:44:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
quite old fashioned
2006-10-30 04:26:28 · answer #8 · answered by ♫Pavic♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's cute...
2006-10-30 03:46:44 · answer #9 · answered by blueboyswoman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what are you asking here?
2006-10-30 04:05:20 · answer #10 · answered by Kelly Bundy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋