Should I leave of should I stay?

Question

I have been married for 16 years with 2 minor kids. We met and married in a different culture when we are both very young, it was almost like parent-arranged.

My husband and I are both good people, but with different interests and personalities. He rarely talk anything happens at work, and he shows no genue interests about anything happens in my life. One time, I had rash all over my body and it apprently show on my face, I was miserable, and he never bother to ask how I felt or if I need to see my doctor...

When the company I work had a big layoff, and the whole reorg and layoff process last almost 2 months, everyone that I worked with felt at least a bit of stress... My husband never even ask wheather I was going to be affected. Several of my friends called me on the day of the layoff, simply say hi, checked my status and show support, but my husband did not call or ask at the dinner table that day. I questioned him, he said, "I just don't understand why it is such a big deal, it

is not the first layoff in your company and the place I work."

Some other scenarios,
- I asked him if we should let the grandparents take care of the kids for a couple of days, so we could go somewhere else for our birthdays? He simply said, "No."

- I had set up 529 education accounts for our kids, and asked him if we should go ahead to deposit some money, he is the response :), "I need more time to digest the fund before you put in any money, unless you will take care of the management of the account and there will be no tax filing complications."

Being married with him for 16 years, I still very confused, is it an attitude, or manner problem, or he simply does not love me. Yes, he is from a un-educated farmer family, but he is highly educated and intelligent man...


Very very confused, and what a shame, 16 years, I still neither solve the problem, nor move on.

Answer 1

If you can afford to support yourself and your kids, Id leave him, he sounds selfish and shallow and you sound sad and lonely. go and find real love, real joy and real friendship from a man who will care about you and be interested in your life and not just his own.... he doesnt deserve you, you sound really lovely....good luck.

Answer 2

Stay. I like you to stay, CareBears have a very nice azzes. don't know if I'm a perv or not. but I like CareBear butts. but you are also a good questioner and answerer, funny and have cute avatar. although you may turn out to be a man in the basement. or a woman in an office cubicle. Edit: "The an" is a proper grammar, but I wronged it.

Answer 3

You have to do what is right for you. Your husband doesnt care enough to ask you how was your day today then you should leave him. After 16 yrs i think it is safe to assume that he is not going to change now.

Answer 4

Only you know what your heart feels.

If he is not attentive to your needs, and he is aware of this, and unwiling to change, you need to decide your course of action. It is not a good environment to raise children in-one devoid of love and the warmth it provides.

Follow your heart and your gut. I think you already know what you need to do. Be strong.

Answer 5

you should stay! dont regret it later on.. look at your childrens...
just try to develop a new environment, and try to communicate what you want.. you can do it, coz there must be a solution for each problem and leaving/quitting is not the answers, specially on marriage.

Answer 6

I think your marriage has started to get boring to your husband. Seek counseling before it is to late.

Answer 7

STAY!!!!! Just because he doesnt jump through a ring of fire over every little detail of your life doesnt mean he doesnt care.Layoffs are a part of having a job rashes can be cured with calamine lotions and benadryl just stop being depressed.

Answer 8

he doesnt sound like he is investing much into ur realtionship so if u r unhappy then u should leave


good luck

Answer 9

You need counselling first.