For thoes divorced?

Question

it's like a bad movie that plays in my head and I am remined of all the past mistakes that I have done in my realionship when does it in and why is it consuming all my thoughts is this normal and what can I do to stop this, I know not everyone will beable to anwsure this

Answer 1

I understand this very well as I also passed thru the same situation. The solution I tried is more of philosophical.

the first thing is to start beliving in yourself. Donot try hard to overcome thoughts but start taking the same lightly. Because whenever you try to remove some thoughts from your mind, they attacks with double strength.

Start activities you like most or rather you are best in and make yourself fully involved on those activities. After some time start looking for the right companign the reason is - What you are in all - by nature /physique etc is not made by you it is created from the environment you live & the most by God's grace. Everything has it's own merrits and de-merrites. So never think much about your mistakes. you don't know, whatever you think is your weakpoint/mistake turns to be the strentgh or right decession later!! (That's true by experiance inclusive of vice versa!! )

Look for the companign with whom you can complete the line & you win the life.

All the best.

Answer 2

You don't say how long you have been divorced for but it can take some time to get over. It is not unusual to take 1 year to recover from divorce and move on. Just remember that there are two people in a marriage each bringing both good and bad behaviour. Try to keep remembering the goodness in you and what you can offer others. Keeping yourself busy through a hobby or friends can help or even try travelling and experiencing new countries.

You will recover just give yourself time.

Answer 3

Yes its normal.. its normal to think about the past, to re play it in your mind like it was constantly on rewind..

Its hard to be with someone for so long, and love them and to just act as if it didnt exsist.. fears of it happening again the hurt keeps us from trying to make the same mistakes..although some things will happen again and again cause well frankly we cant change who we are, we can try, but some things are just that "who we are" .. we can pretend that things wont affect us the same ways, we can pretend that we dont like things that we actually do.. or pretend that we like things that we actually dont.. in hopes of being something or someone different so that we dont make the same mistakes.. but u know what, it took two people to make a marriage happen, it took two people to make that marriage work.. and no one is perfect..

Took me 7 years to get over my x husband.. i sabatoged every relationship i had.. subconciously.. out of fear of being hurt again.. and deep down inside wishing he'd come back and put me back together again.. ..and i thought it was my fault.. i must of done something that drove him away.. but the fact was, even though i could of been better in alot of ways.. those were all superficial .. and what he failed to see, was he had a woman that loved him with all her heart..and when she made that promise to love him always she meant it...unfortunately for me, he didnt..

Took me realizing that the man i loved was the man i married, not the man i divorced.. the man i married would of never hurt me the way that he did, the man i married would of never destroyed our family the way that he did.. i learned to cope by realizing the person i loved no longer exsisted on the face of this planet.. and that the only part that was my fault was loving a man that didnt deserve my love in the first place..

Answer 4

it is called trauma. i have been divorced for about 10 years and i still have that "Movie" play as well as the ones where you think of the "What I should have done" the only way to make it go away is therepy. you can also just learn to deal with it. it takes time, but after a while you just get used to it :P

Answer 5

Yeah, i know what you mean. I think it's just the reality of failure and your gut trying to find an answer to what went wrong. Don't worry, it won't go away but the re-plays of it in your mind will decrease over time.
Best to go out and find some hobby that will occupy your mind and time with rather than keep having this bad re-play.

Answer 6

I don't have an answer. Only time will help. Live and learn then try not to repeat your mistakes in the future.

Answer 7

I am divorced, and my ex-husband got married two weeks after we got a divorce on Valentine's day, so I feel your pain. I have to see him and his new wife all the time because I have two kids by him. It makes me sick, but I get myself busy. I have moved on, and I have a wonderful man who loves me for me.