Do I owe her this?

Question

My wife refuses to haves sex with me. She says she can't enjoy it with the thought of getting pregnant again going through her mind during intercourse. We have three kids now and don't plan to have more. We were using condoms until she decided to not have sex anymore. She thinks that because she gave me three kids i owe her to get a vasectomy so we wont have to worry about this anymore. I'm only 25 yrs old and am not sure if i want to get one right now. Should i do it?

a little extra info. 3rd kid was concieved on BC, she has had 3 emergency c-sections and was told by doctors it would be dangerous for her to have another. We bothe agreed to get this done to one another. She refuses to go on the pill because she doesnt want to gain the weight that she has worked so hard to lose. I find it pretty selfish that she cars more aout her looks than her marriage.

Answer 1

Your wife is not being selfish or unreasonable. You said it yourself the doctor said it would be dangerous for her to get pregnant again. which could possibly mean death.

For one minute forget about sex and put yourself in her shoes. Imagine the fear that has built up. That fear is not going to go away just because you use a condom or she's on the pill, it just builds more.
As we know the pill and condoms are not 100%.
This is something that your going to have to really think about,talk to your doctor,talk to your wife. But for the time being the fear is very real to her and until that fear is gone, she's going to hold back. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, your wife is playing games with you. I can see her point about being responsible and not wanting to have any more children and doesn't want any accidents. But there is evidence that suggest that vasectomies are dangerous and are tied with a higher incidence of prostate cancer. You need to have a serious talk with her. By the way, why did get married so young, might have been a mistake?

Answer 3

Has your wife ever heard of the contraceptive pill or the coil. I find it hard to believe that she's refusing to have sex with you because of her fear of becoming pregnant again. She is being totally unreasonable. Do not have a vasectomy at your age.

Answer 4

Please you have three kids, please get vasectomy. The procedure isn't so bad or dangerous for men. It is reversible too. Us women go through nine months of hell to carry your rugrats (nothing personal, I hate all kids, not really), so please be a man and tie the line up because you have potent sperm and you are so young! If it was easier for women and we didn't have such hard time already, I would side with you...but no ways, Jose, not on this one!!!!

It's a very safe procedure!

Answer 5

It is easier for the man to get the procedure and I have heard it can be reversed with a man but that could be misinformation. Do the research.

You don`t owe her this but it may be your only option if she will never have sex again until you have the procedure.

Good luck.

Answer 6

my husband and i agreed no more children he was 28 I was 25 certainly a vascetomy would stop pregnancy ,and hormones are very dangerous for women,sure do it it doesnt hurt and its your key to a sexlife with your wife ,i strongly agree with one this coming from total experience in saying.

Answer 7

No this should be something that you want because it is your body.If she feels do strong about getting pregnant mabye she should get a tubal ligation and she wont have anything to worry about

Answer 8

Negative.Just talk it over with her and have her get on some kind of birth control.

Answer 9

dude, your 25, dont do it, if you look hard enough there's safe sex methods out there.

Answer 10

why dont she have her tubes tied?