what would you think if you had to go through your mothernlaw to talk to your husband?

Question

my husband calls our daughter and I and never calls back, but to try and contact him they say you have to go thur her to get a hold of him, his cell phone is not working he does not call and all this started over was from a co- worker and their daughter spreading rumors of lies.That split us apart to begin with saying i was with another guy and never was.it was a week yesterday since we have heard from him.And a month the 28 th since we seen him personally.I hear he tells his aunt that he still loves me and cares about me but he had his wedding band off,we are still married if he wears a ring or not.I keep waiting and he does not call or nothing has never changed his address and just left his stuff behind just as he planned to come home in the beginng before all this happened at the carnival.Stressed in michigan

Answer 1

Dont call him, theres no need for u to have to go thru your mother in-law to talk to your husband, he's your husband, and this is between u and him.. my advice to u is to write him a letter.. let him know that he's willing to throw away your marriage and your family based on "hear say" and only an immature little boy would throw his marriage away based on someone elses lies .. OR he's wanted out and found the excuse to do it..

Do u know for a fact that these people told ur husband that they saw u with another man, or is that just hear say from your husband? Just seems awfully fishy that he's capable of totally "detaching" not only from u but his daughter as well ..and the fact that he's already taken off his wedding ring can only mean 1 of two things, he's wanted out and he took it off asap.. or he really believes that u cheated on him to the point that he's so hurt that he cant bare to wear it..

Theres definately more to this story then what u've put in black and white.. either theres some type of proof pushing towards that u did have an affair.. or he has a hidden agenda that ur not aware of (meaning again he's wanted out and found the excuse to do it) but no one walks from their family so easily.. not over a mere rumor.. with out something backing it up..

Do u know this co-worker? Heck id let them know what they've done to ur family by spreading lies.. is this a male co worker or female co worker????? Female co-worker could have her own agenda.. or even possibly.. already have something in the works with ur husband and u were merely just the obsticle.. but either way.. id let the co-worker know how they've shattered your family based on what they have said, the lies that they told and if it was just a case of mistaken idenity .. all the harm they've caused..

But if ur completely innocent write him a letter.. let him know the facts.. let him know that what he's throwing away, based on something with out proof.. and then tell him that u've pled ur case..to him.. that u love him, and that u'll wait by the phone, but that u cant keep chasing after him nor be the only one trying to hold ur family together.. that if he wants u , he knows where to find u.. and if u dont hear from him, u know where u stand.. but put the ball in his court..have sent registered mail so it will have to be signed for , and u'll get a reciept letting u know it was recieved.. so there can never be any "i never got it" type things brought up..

Good luck, i hope he comes to his senses..

But start preparing for a life with out him.. just incase, better to start now, because u need to protect not only urself but ur children.. although i know the thought of that hurts.. u need to get the courage.. to face the worst and yet hope for the best..

Answer 2

So, does this mean he's staying with his mother?! If you can't get a hold of him on the phone, you need to physically go over there and talk to him. If he really loves you and cares about you, he will work this out. Does he believe the rumors? If he really loved you and cared about you in the first place, he shouldn't have believed the lies. It sounds to me like he was looking for a way out of this marriage, and this was the perfect way! And now he's not wearing his wedding ring or contacting you!?
I think you both need to talk-communicate. This is obviously a misunderstanding. And maybe you both need counseling if this doesn't resolve. But, if he isn't willing to understand that you didn't do anything wrong, or that he isn't willing to seek a marriage counselor, then maybe your marriage is over. He ran to his mothers instead of talking to you like a responsible, mature, intelligent, caring, understanding, and respectable husband would do!!!!!! That alone raises a red flag. I would be stressed out, too. I hope this helped. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Well then there is really nothing you can do but wait until he calls your daughter. or wait until he decides to talk to you and iron this nonsense out. And why would a man leave his wife and child because of a rumor. And you must go through the whole family to speak with him. Personally, I would move on with my life and if he came back, he would have to do some growing up really quick and make some mature decisions. Good luck and God bless

Answer 4

I think in your other post the advice i gave you was marriage counseling or divorce . honestly it seems you are more worried about your marriage than he is . and i know it has to be hard to accept the fact this guy is very immature or just does not want-to be married to you any longer . but honey there comes a point and time when you have to face it . your marriage is over. it takes 2 people work on a marriage and from what i have read from your other 2 posts your the only partner trying to fix the marriage any way good luck .

Answer 5

Sheesh is he a man or a big baby?! With all due respect, he is being ridiculous. I know that rumours can do a lot of harm in a marriage, but come on!! You have a child together, also! You find a way to contact him directly. Stop calling his mommy immediately. That is just too childish. He knows better.

When u are able to talk w/ him personally, tell him that these rumours hurt YOU just as much as they hurt HIM, and if he loves you as much as he tells other people he does, he owes it to you & to himself to make your marriage work.

Find a way to prove to him that they were just rumours too. Get some proof to properly defend yourself, because there's a trust issue involved, unfortunately. Hang in there! :)

Answer 6

That's really sad and pathetic explain to the in-laws that if he doesn't start talking to his kids and visiting them once in a while that you are looking of going for full custody and he can just stay away that should get some fire under his butt and the in-laws to tell him to smarten up his act. Do not put up with that crap you
are his wife and those are his kids and his mom is not to be involved in your personal family matters.

Answer 7

grow some back bone !!! march urself over to the house, demand to see him, do NOT leave until he comes to speak with you..... do not however give MOM any reason to call the police, by making a fuss or any such thing... just ring or knock, ask to speak to him, in a loud but lady like voice, and if she says NO, then politly tell her to mind her own business, and to Please send him to the door, so you can begin to get to the end... and say nothing more... she will think you are ending things, but that will open the way for you to speak with him... keep your kool, that is important, do not give anyone any reason to think that you are such a bad person...... God bless

Answer 8

if it is all a misunderstanding started by rumors, then hang in there girl, he should not have believed something like that without any evidence. let him stew and lick his wounds alittle if he truly loves you he will come around. but talk to him through any means you can , let him know you love him and that he should not believe everything he hears, especially without proof. If he is worth it fight for your Man. Best wishes for getting back together.

Answer 9

I wouldn't do it, it's as simple as that. Write him a letter.

Answer 10

Write him off and divorce him. You don't need that crap.