Living w/ bf. He is 8 years older. He has an 11 year old daughter. She stays with us twice a month. I have to share my closet and bathroom w/ her (even though we have 2 + 2). I share rent w/ him. I pay less, but only by $250. He makes double what I do a year.
Is this fair???? And every time she comes up, we fight? What is wrong?
2006-10-29 17:11:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she is Daddys' little girl and is jealous of you... YOU need to talk to Dad and make a few changes... if there are 2 baths, 1 of them needs to be hers, and not allowed to use the other one unless she just has to..... think about how things are in the home when she is there, write down a FEW changes, reasonable ones, that you would like to see happen and why !!! do NOT go over board, make them simple and easy things, like the bathroom... and compromise with Dad and her about a few of the unimportant things, choose wisely !!!! pick your battles, as my Mother would say .. and you must remember, that is her Dad, and children of divorce feel trapped, so try to give the relationship you have with her an honest going over..... are YOU trying your best with her, making her feel like part of the whole family and not just a visiter ??? God bless
2006-10-29 17:18:38 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your situation sounds SOOO similar to mine! My husband's son is 11 and my husband and I have been together for almost 7 years now. I hate to tell you, but these kinds of problems are never going away. There's also a good chance that if you bring up these issues, he's going to dismiss your feelings and tell you why YOU are wrong.
If you're paying anything toward rent then you DO have a right to give your input on how things should work when his daughter comes over. One thing I'm confused about though, why is it that you and him have separate bathrooms? I think one bathroom should be for you and him and the other should be a guest bathroom for when his daughter comes over.
You asked what is wrong... I'll give you my best shot at answering. It could be because he's making a subconscious effort to show you and his daughter that you're not more important to him than she is. By making you share things like equals he's somehow proving this? I'm sure you care a lot about this guy, but I'm also pretty sure this pattern will not change any time soon. Sorry. Best wishes!
2006-10-30 18:11:21 · answer #2 · answered by ms pokeylope 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not understand if he is your boyfriend why you are not sharing a room. And if the daughter is coming why she is not sharing his closet, it is his daughter. As far as the bathroom, she should also be using his, why should you be inconvenienced. I think perhaps she is a little spoiled. And is he your boyfriend or male friend room mate. I'm a little confused here. Either way, she should be using his things not your personal space. I would run and move on quickly and find a man with more common sense than to put his girlfriend through unnecessary nonsense. However, if you moved in after he did and these things were first hers, the bedroom, closet and bathroom. This raises a whole another issue. Then you all need to seek different housing, you have stepped into her house and invaded her space. Good luck and God bless
2006-10-30 01:17:31 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your boyfriend and try and work out a better arrangement if this is causing problems between the two of you. This is his child so be careful about the way you handle this situation because he will take his daughters side because it is his job to protect her. You should be able to hadle her being over because she comes over only twice a month and you should try and bond with her and make her feel at home. This way there will be less tension in the house when she is over and the two of you may become really good friends and this will be good for you and her and will make your relationship with your boyfriend even better because he will see the effort that you are making to resolve the problems that you are having and accepting his daughter into your life at the same time. This will make you start to look forward to her visits instead of having to dread when she is about to come over.
2006-10-30 01:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL if u cant handle merely sharing a closet and bathroom with a little girl how on earth are u ever going to be able to share a life with her in it.. time to pack ur bags and move on.. she'll always come first, u'll always be second, and if u cant handle that then u need to go be with someone that doesnt have children..
Im the step mother of 2 children and i wish that was the biggest gripe i had lol.. and i love my step children ..
2006-10-30 01:44:55 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would think the closet sharing should be with him....but I can understand the bathroom.....keep the gals together....
But I really don't know. If it were me....we would have talked about it and done whatever we agreed upon.
Nice 360 by the way.
2006-10-30 01:15:50 · answer #6 · answered by Mike 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know what is wrong.
I think I would find a different place to live. You are just a convenience to him - one that helps out with the rent, no less.
2006-10-30 01:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes its fair, come on he loves his daughter as well which is a good thing. Hes not a guy that wants to treat his daughter like garbage.
2006-10-30 01:17:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me as if you are a little jealous of his daughter.
2006-10-30 02:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your still a child yourself. Grow up!
2006-10-30 01:13:04 · answer #10 · answered by lifescircle 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋