Jesus could not get bailed out by his Dad. The Christian God is much more powerfull than Zeus but, I think Zeus could take Jesus. I think Chuck Norris would defeat Jesus but Zeus would kick his ****. All hypothetical of course. I realize some of these characters may or may not exsist.
2006-10-29 16:17:01 · 18 answers · asked by Parrot Bay 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Mythology & Folklore
Chuck Norris, of course. Don't you know anything about Chuck Norris? Chuck Norris always sleeps with a night light, not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him. Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried. Ever. When God first said, "Let there be light", he had to ask Chuck Norris' permission first. They tried to add Chuck Norris' face to Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. And, finally, contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
2006-10-29 16:34:11 · answer #1 · answered by supensa 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Zeus, totally. Jesus would sit down and tell the others that they'd be forgiven-right before they made him a martyr all over again. Chuck Norris would start in on his whole karate-boxing-kung fu- thing, and Zues would pop into the body of a bull and run him down. Jesus might come back and try to judge Zeus, but then again, Zeus IS God on the whole anyway. So how could Jesus judge God???
I'm thinking way too much about this, aren't I...
2006-10-30 00:51:52 · answer #2 · answered by Angela M 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well Chuck Norris is a Christian last I checked so Jesus would be with Chuck Norris as he is with all of us and Chuck Norris would kick the crap out of that wannabe named Zeus.
2006-10-30 01:48:12 · answer #3 · answered by gook_mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus would turn the other cheek and be down fast, and then Zeus would nail Chuck Norris with a lightning bolt.
2006-10-30 03:46:44 · answer #4 · answered by KdS 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Round 1
Jesus tries to break up the fight...gets slapped by Zeus..turns the other cheek and leaves the ring.
Chuck Norris vows revenge for Jesus because he sees himself as the defender of the good guys.
Zeus squashes Chucks head...blood goes everywhere!
Chuck immediately takes a ride across the river Styx.
Apollo jumps in the ring to congratulate his father.
It all takes about a minute and a half.
2006-10-30 00:33:38 · answer #5 · answered by chefzilla65 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say Zeus. I don't think Chuck Norris could take Jesus though.
2006-10-30 00:24:51 · answer #6 · answered by Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what I've read, Zeus always managed to cheat or lie his way out of trouble. Jesus wasn't that type; he'd give a fair fight, so he'd be at a disadvantage. Chuck Norris, although awesome to those of us confined to reality, would be at an even more serious disadvantage, as he is (as far as I know) unable to change from a human into an animal or to walk on water, etc. So I'll have to go with Zeus the Conniver (his possible wrestling or ultimate fighting name).
2006-10-30 00:23:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Zeus would just rain hell on all of them.(lightning, divine strength, summoning creatures of destructive power, the list goes on........)
Jesus might preach some philosophy, and sway chuck norris, but Zeus is relentless and would just crush them both.
Chuck norris is pretty strong compared to your average joe. But I actually happen to know a guy who could beat him.
2006-10-30 00:26:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris would not throw down with Jesus, Zeus wouldn't care & he would beat them both down.
2006-10-30 00:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by T H 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
JESUS ALL THE WAY !! but why don't you mention the teacher who taught Chuck Norris in the first place ? if you're going to make comparisons why not mention Bruce Lee who actually started the teaching of many ?
2006-10-30 09:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by Marvin R 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋