Why do people drop their single friends like hotcakes after they get married?

Question

It feels like abandonment. I would like to hear from some married people on this, too.

Answer 1

because they are starting a new exciting life they are married now and they need time to themselves this is a big change for everybody give them time and they will start to caome around again. it's not because they don't like you know more but marrage does make people mature a little bit,and there never seems like theres time to do things you used to do

Answer 2

It's not deliberate. It's just that married people tend to have such a different set of interests from singles that it's hard to find common ground. That goes double for when the kids come along. I found myself having serious discussions about -- I kid you not -- my infant son's poop. Yeah, it can be an indicator of the child's health, but my single self could never have imagined taking interest in another person's bowel movements.

You need to find a common interest if you want to stay in touch. It might be poker night or golfing or shopping. Just be prepared for married folk to have a lot less freedom since they now have to deal with stuff like PTA meetings and housework.

There is also one other tragic possibility that must be considered: the jealous spouse. This is not just the spouse who fears that old flames might be rekindled, but the spouse who resents any time his/her significant other spends with anyone else. The one who demands that old acquantances must be discarded in favor of a new "approved" list of friends. There is little that can be done for the unfortunates who have married such people except to pity them, for they are Truly Lost.

Answer 3

We don't drop our single friends. Marriage is fantastic, ESPECIALLY during the period where you are newleyweds. You tend to enjoy time hanging out with other people who are newly married and others who are in serious relationships. There isn't much that a married couple can do to hang out with a single friend.

This happens all the time. The single friend isn't necessarily jealous, just selfish. They are selfish because they still think they are going to hang out just as much as before but that's never true. WHen you get in a serious relationship she'll love to hang out with you because she'll know that you aren't looking for a guy, guys won't be coming up to you, she'll have more fun and you guys can do couple things together.

Answer 4

Awww. I think some of my single friends felt like this when I got married. Basically, when you get married you life is no longer about you and meeting your goals, it becomes about the both of you. The first 2 years is a HUGE adjustment no matter how long you knew the person before you got married. It alternates between utter bliss to utter annoyance. You mix that with working, possible kids, you barely have time for yourself let alone your friends!!!! My suggestion would be to let your friend have this time. After the initial newlywed-ness wares off, your friend will be looking for you to hang out with. Unfortunately, I have only 1 friend left. My others no longer talk to me. They did not understand this season. Please be patient with them, it is an adjustment that is necessary to make. Your wilingness to still be there for them will show your true friendship to them..
Also, whatever you do don't get jealous that they are married and you are not. Marriage is very stressful and takes a lot of work. What they need is your support. Your turn will come, enjoy your single ness.

Answer 5

There are too many changes in a married persons life. A single friend becomes a different way of life. It can be a problem between the couple. Its just easier to dump the single friend.

Answer 6

I am going to answer this question with a question....What is the deal with the single friends that get married and drop their already married friends???? I think it is just with what kind of person they really are and you find this out after you become very close friends with them.

Answer 7

Hi
After your friends become married you become the computation
believe it or not.
It's not because your friend no longer wants your friendship because she dose,
however you must try to understand that your friend life has taken on another roll, and in lot of cases they feel that their new found spouse will not excepted the very fact that she still wants to hang out.
So she gives in to his wish with out really realizing that she has but into motion his need to control,
Your friend is still your friend and forever will be however she now life her life with and for her new found husband.
But then you must ask your self this question.... is it your friend that has closed the door on your friendship...?
Because if it is then it is one of two things,
He the new husband has asked her to stay away from you and her other friends witch is so very wrong to give into.
or is it her that has these Insecurity's of wanting you around with them.
Just something to think about.

Candyman

Answer 8

You're right- it is abandonment! But sadly it is also the way things go! After I was married my husband & I tried to keep up with our single friends but eventually we saw nothing in common any more. Also, partners fear cheating with the singles!! It's just too threatening. Don't take it too personally,though. It's really not YOU it's THEM!!!!

Answer 9

Because the person you are married to get threated that you might act like your single again or go in the same routine like before you were married. Plus, they think your friends would be a bad influence on you and they think when you get married you should only be seen with them and when they put a ring on your finger they think they own you.

Answer 10

You shouldn't dump any friends like that but after marriage, the priorities change and couples tend to hang out with each other and do most of the things with each other...especially newly weds. Singles don't fit in because they're still on the dating scene and some couples don't like it when one of the partners goes out by themselves (with single friends) because it puts them in the flirty situations that all partners are not comfortable with. Plus singles don't fully comprehend commitment to one person and children so they slowly drift off.