SEVERE depression during pregnancy? Miserable!?

Question

I had a very difficult year with the losses of a lot of people who were very important to me. In April, I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't planned but not unwanted. I was engaged to be married to my fiance and the wedding was scheduled for August. In the beginning of August, I found out he was cheating on me and I left him. Then my daughter (from another relationship) indicated that he had been touching her privates. After filing a police report and having the abuse confirmed by 3 separate child therapists, we moved to another state. Before I left, I was served with paperwork by my ex to establish paternity of our unborn child. He has indicated that he wants to fight for full custody.
I'm 33 weeks along and I have never been more depressed in my life. I can barely get out of bed, eat, or sleep. I can't give the baby up for adoption because of legal complications. I'm totally out of options and think about suicide all of the time. What to do?

Answer 1

With every thing you have gone through..I am not surprised you are depressed. I personally think you are handling it very well (from what you wrote). There is nothing worse than finding out your child has been "molested". My son was and it's devastating to a parent. Unless you can proven an unfit mom, the courts will give you custody of that baby. They always favor mom's.He probably threatened the custody issue because he is mad at you or he wants to stress you out. I can tell you that suicide is not what you need. I know you know that. Your pregnancy has really messed up your hormones and that's probably where a lot of depression comes from. I think it would be good for u to get away for a few days and really think things through..leave the kids with a friend or relative. You can't think clearly when you have kids running everywhere and you have to take care of them. you MUST take care of yourself for the sake of that baby. That baby can be stressed also..it could cause premature labor, etc. That is why I say you HAVE to take care of yourself. Counseling would also be beneficial but after the baby is born, your depression may get better as your hormones return to normal.I do definately think that you Need some "me" alone time to really think..get a good nights sleep and then make out a positive and negative sheet and use them. No matter what happens, that unborn baby and your daughter NEED you. I wish you the best in the pregnancy and in what you decide to do.

Answer 2

You should be having this conversation with a Medical professional.

Killing yourself is also murdering an innocent child.

You have already reported this man to the police, he doesn't stand a chance of getting custody of your baby.

After you talk to your Doctor, get Legal help. If you can't afford a Lawyer call the State Bar Association.

Taking charge of your life may just help lift the depression.

Life can and will get better.

Answer 3

First of all... tell your EX good luck on trying to take that baby away from you.. do you realize just how hard it is for a man to take a child away from its mother in a court room? BELIEVE me.. i have been dealing with this **** for years...He will look like a total jack *** when you tell a judge you left him due to cheating and now he is trying to take custody.. he cant take that baby from unless he can prove you are just a down right unfit mother... so you really shoud not worry about that... and You should never think of suicide... Think of your little girl who needs you the most right now, and think of how hard her life would be grwoing up without a mom.. I know I was miserable on mothers day, and christmas, and my birthday.. and my wedding when all i could think about was " I wish my mom could see me right now" God never gives anyone something they cant handle.. remember that.. your 33 weeks and it just a few short weeks your gonna have a baby... that alone should be the more reason to just clear your head and stay strong and get through this... your not totally out of options...

Answer 4

I'm sorry to learn of your terrible tragedies. If the ex-boyfriend situation hadn't caused a significant and consistent amount of anxiety and depression before pregnancy, then the symptoms could very well be caused by the pregnancy. Less than 10% of women experience what you are experiencing during pregnancy, but the symptoms: can't get out of bed, hopelessness, lack of appetite, are normal for that less-than-10% of women. The psychological factors that may have spurned your symptoms might be exasperated by the pregnancy if you've been feeling this way less severely before pregnancy, or by the endocrine changes involved with pregnancy. Please do yourself and your baby a big favor and reach out for help from a professional in the area.

Answer 5

you have had a run in with the devil, he has cause your situation to be so stressful and anxious that its affecting you all the time.
depression due to hormonal changes is a normal thing but on top of that you ahve to deal with a monster threatening to take away the little gift inside you.
wit his case history of cheating and child abuse (also why isnt he in jail?) he won't get full custody of your child, if I were you I would fight in court so that you dont have to put your second child at risk of sexual abuse, its a sad thing for a kid to grow up without a father, but better than a kid growing up with being abused huh? and chances are along the track, you will meet a good man who will treat you and your kids wonderful - but not yet.
be strong, find a church to help you, get legal advice from a family law court. try to push charges if he sexually abused your daughter.
killing yourself is never an option, cos in a couple of years when you are stronger and your kids are old enough to help you out you will thank God you stuck around. imagine how totally F-ed up your daughter's mind will be if she then has to deal with mum killing herself.
your ideal situation would be to have the cheating abusive man out of your life. this may not happen for a while - but its something to work towards for you and your children

Answer 6

oh please dont deal with on your own...i know a therapist might be expensive, so maybe your doctor? No DEFINITLY your doctor...he/she will have some good advice for you...maybe some words of wisdom or some prescriptions...as for your daughter...its good that you found out now rahter than later...shes got to be a strong little girl if she confessed what had happened...be proud of her and yourself for teaching her to come to you with things that are not right....as for the custody i HIGHLY doubt that any man accused of child molestation is going to be allowed near your new baby let alone awarded ANY type of custody and if it does screw you over and he DOES get to see them, just lie and say he threatened you or something.. who the F**k cares at this point..its your internal motherly instinct to protect your offspring....send him a copy of the movie "enough" with jennifer lopez, maybe hell get the point the damn creep....please tell your doctor so you can get better and be there for your little girl..she was strong to come to you, now you should be strong and be there for her..men can be the most dissappointing thing in our lives sometimes and you cant always read people the way you expect yourself to...so many women have fallen into their traps, tears and tragic bullsh%t stories..your not the first so dont be so hard on yourself...your a mom and you do whatever you need to do to keep that lowlife away. lie cheat steal who the heII cares....god wont care, your protecting the innocent.....i hope you feel better and i hope that you talk to your doctor..you can always email me if you wanna just talk...im a quick thinker...ideas for restraining orders...reasons to deny someone custody AND visitation etc etc. lol but good luck =0)

Answer 7

Tell your Dr. You need a therapist who will let you vent and help you through all of this. Don't worry about your Ex filing for paternity. You have proof that he is a child molester. You should have him arrested. I don't know what legal complications hinder an adoption, but you should be able to work it out. Good luck, dear. I hope you find someone decent to help you.

Answer 8

Seek help ASAP!!! Do you really want to do that to your daughter? She's been through so much already, do you want to put her through the loss of her mom?
As for the baby...I would think that you could use the police and therapists reports to fight the custody battle. Take care of yourself and your daughter and seek medical/professional attention as soon as possible.

Answer 9

talk with your Dr about some meds that might help also go to your nearest christian church so you can get support thru this time in your life,even though all these terrible things are happening to you it will pass and at the end your going to be blessed with a baby what better gift can you have.good luck i was once very depressed and had similar issues as you it never goes away but you do learn to deal with it,you will be happy again i promise

Answer 10

Honey you need to see a theopist, call in the morning. Alot of them will see you at low fees, or if you explain you are pregnant & sucideal thoughts some may see you pro bono (free) There are many medications that you can take while pregnant that along w/ theropy will help you out of what probly feels like a black hole. If by any chance you live in Michigan, my mother in law does a lot of pro bono, & Iam sure would be willing to help. Let whomever you call know you need to get in ASAP, not Tuesday, MONDAY! If by any chance you do liv ein MI add it to your details & I can help! Sorry, It will all end up ok, just PLEASE seek help!