My husband just doesn't have a sexdrive anymore, I have a very high sexdrive, how should I go aboutdealing w/

Question

It's hard to handle going without sex, how should I handle it?

Answer 1

You must be maried to my hubby's clone.....this is tough I got a vibe to get over the rough spots........

Answer 2

You don't mention your age or other factors, but this can be due to many things. It is not uncommon for men in there forties to have low testosterone levels, which directly relate to decreased libido (sex drive). But it can be, and here i am talking with experience, some latent (hidden) psychological issue, for example dealing with hurt or pain from the spouse having an affair, or some other trauma. In my case I really believed that I had forgiven her, but hadn't, when I truly did forgive her, it was amazing. Also some men internalize there anger, so if he is abused or treated poorly, or disrespected he might not be attracted to you, this is particularly true with the passive/aggressive types. so please don't just assume he is having an affair, or that you are not attractive. Many (insecure) women do this, and accuse, or put some pressure on them. which makes them more resentful and it becomes a vicious cycle. Do you see. The sexiest woman is the one that is kind and caring, and when a man feels that HE is wanted by her, that is a real turn on. does he know that you would like sex more often? this leads me to the last and maybe most important part of it... Communication, this is the best aphrodisiac ever. when people open up and can really be honest together, sparks fly... Good luck to you both. I could go on and on...

Answer 3

I'm in the same boat as your husband. I went to the doc and found my testosterone levels were fine. I also find that I'm not interested at all (including fantasising about other women) I put it down to work and stress. When I'm on holidays and relaxed I definitely get my drive back.

Saying that I find it funny that for years I wanted it almost everyday and I'd regularly get turned down and that was never a problem. Now that her sex drive is up, all of a sudden its a problem. Go Figure :)

Answer 4

You should ask why he has such a low sex drive? Is he under stress - then talk to him, relax him by giving him massages, communicate with him, give him support. Is he not as attracted to you as before - pay attention to your body, work out to tone yourself and eat healthy (its great for you too besides giving him a reason to hold you!). Is he feeling tired all the time - take care of his diet, give him energy bars and a balanced diet with multivitamin pills. Is he bored with sex - you should opt for different positions, get an erotic book to read together, experiment with lube, erotic movies, sex toys, light bondage and oral sex. If there's something wrong in your sex life, it doesn't mean that it can't be fix...so go ahead and do it!

Answer 5

Find the answer to that and well...tackle world peace next. (ha) Mine just refuses to go to the Dr. or counceling. He drinks like a fish and won't consider stopping. I've tried patience and all the right things but it's been years and well......"understanding" is way past since he can function alone with porno. I'm not handeling it well because he seems fine with things the way they are. I figured I had a few more good years left in me and never planned being celibate during my "peak" years. Good luck though.........

Answer 6

Many things contribute to a loss of sex drive; stress being the most popular. If his sex drive matched yours before and it doesn't any longer, it may be best to just ask him straight out.

If he never had a high one and you want to keep him, then I would do as the others suggest and find some good toys, etc.

Answer 7

The same has happened to my wife, and it is very hard to handle. Because like you my sex drive is very strong too! It just make me look at other woman more. If you would like to talk about this more E-mail me. Good Luck!

Answer 8

My hubby works out on the road he remodels Wal-Marts all across the U.S. He is gone six to eight weeks at a time. My vibrator is my best friend. He doesn't come home to find me frustrated and angry and being together again is that much sweeter. I think those things have saved many marriages.

Answer 9

Is he in a high pressure job where he's under alot of stress? Because stress can seriously kill a sex drive. I understand that your having a desire for sex. But be supportive of him, he may have to see a Dr. about it, and he may be embarassed about that. Also if he's ashamed of not having much sex drive, encourage him that he can sexually pleasure you without penetration.

Hope that this helps.

Answer 10

see most men are the same! yes my hubby too. i guess i always thought i have the highest sex cravin around, it's not only me maybe it's just all women.I mean he does give it to me but most of the time i have to ask for it (who wants to ask for it all the time)can't they just be thier old self again.(not being able to walk past you with out tearing your clothes off)and then they make you feel like he's not attracted to you know more or doesn't love you.all this works on a woman,they need to realize this. good luck in your bedroom.

Answer 11

ok im male ,ask him first ,what wroung,perhaps he depressed ,this could have a inpact on his sex drive, is he drinking ,on drugs even , perhaps he feels tired over worked. try planning a little night out just you and him ,let himtalk . no sex , he will come around to your way of thinking he did before,do your homework and good luck, you can handle it , lol